Optimistic

Well they got me. Last Wednesday my boss walked into my office looking like he had just been forced to sit through a 12 hour looped marathon of Herman Cain performing gospel favorites. Seriously, the man does gospel! Check it out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZe75JSXhyU . What a clown, he’s got a whole album worth. Anyway he starts by saying, “Warren we need to talk.” Now I don’t know about you but I’ve never had someone start off a conversation with “we need to talk” and give me good news. It’s not like he was gonna say “we need to talk, you just won 12 million dollars”…hasn’t happened to me yet. So according to him we needed to talk but really I was just listening. He told me that he had fought for me but in order to cut costs the company felt they needed to eliminate my position…as of Friday…two days away. I still didn’t feel the need to talk. Well that’s not exactly true, I could have talked but it would not have been pretty and anyway there’s that whole bridge burning thing to contend with. Unemployed? Yes, but with excellent references. You know I really should have seen it coming. Company sales are drastically down from last year and they’ve already had a round of lay-offs and there was that whole thing last year with them and their mandatory work furloughs.

So now I find myself a living statistic, I’ve joined the ranks of the unemployed. Yes sir a living breathing member of the California 12% club or 16% if you’re African-American. You know one of those people that conservative politicians like Herman Cain claim, “if they are out of works it’s their own fault.” Despite fighting charges of sexual harassment this buffoon still has time to make idiotic statements. But yeah that’s me, unemployed because I want to be. Living the life of Riley, on the government dime, sitting on my ass…no worries. Because they’ll be paying my mortgage and car note, my credit card bills, student loans and health insurance…right? Yeah I’m satisfied Herman, being out of work and just waiting for all those millions to roll in from unemployment. Unemployed due to my own fault! Wow. Funny, I thought it was the fault of a sagging U.S. economy and Republican politicians refusing to pass President Obama’s jobs bill. I thought it was the eight years Bush spent tearing down our financial system and spending trillions of dollars on manufactured wars instead of focusing on jobs…but maybe that’s just me.

But rather than worry about how I’m going to find money to pay taxes next year on the unemployment benefits I receive this year, I plan to focus on the positive. Thankful that the company had to pay me for the accrued vacation and personal time I had managed to hold on to, which serves as severance because they certainly weren’t offering any. Thankful that someone anonymously pointed out to them that you cannot make exempt employees use their accrued time to pay for company enforced job furloughs simply because you decide you have no work for them…ok it was me. You’d be surprised what you can get from a simple Google search. Thankful that I didn’t fall for their request to convert that accrued time to their worthless company stock. Seriously, .70 cents a share? So I refuse to be down, one door closes and another opens. I’ll just keep on trucking, head to the sky, ain’t no stopping us now (feel free to insert your own applicable R&B titles here) I know a change is gonna come, I’ve got a new attitude, boogie nights (okay that last one was just cause I feel like dancing) ultimately, down but not out…optimistic. Who knows what the future holds…right?

Never Trust A Big Butt And A Smile

I hate Kim Kardashian. I’ve never met the woman and I hate her. I hate her because I know so much about her life even though I don’t want to. I hate her because I can correctly spell her name without first checking. I hate her sisters, her mother and I even hate Bruce Jenner who married her mom and has a face lift that looks straight out of Frankenstein (really, it’s frightening)…I hate them all. This woman who made herself a household name based on a big ass and a "leaked" sex tape was paid over 18 million dollars for a televised wedding extravaganza that I frankly never cared about and thankfully didn’t see. 18 million dollars and it only lasted 72 days. That’s $250,000 a day folks…I hate her.

I hate the fact that this reality show whore star was able to fool so many into believing this was a real marriage to begin with. The divorce news came via Ryan Seacrest who just happens to be executive producer of her reality show and now rumor says that it was an arrangement to boost ratings for the show and that her now former husband, old what’s his name, wasn’t even her first choice to play the role. Apparently he was caught off guard as when he heard the news he stated, "I love my wife and am devastated to learn she filed for divorce... I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make it work." Huh? Kris didn’t you read your contract? 72 days buddy, 72 days. But don’t feel bad for him as per his prenuptial agreement I’m sure he stands to earn a substantial payday and with him being an unemployed free-agent for the seemingly missing in action NBA, I’m sure it helps.

Today Mama Kardashian, Kris (did I mention I hate her?) went on the offensive denying rumors of a nefariously plotted, ratings boosting publicity stunt. Stating, “It’s just a horrible, horrible situation. I feel bad for the kids.” Yeah right those poor kids cause you know they're like all sad and stuff and by the way she has new book out today, available on amazon.com. Meanwhile, Big Booty’s sister also went on the attack. Khole, you know the one who married Los Angeles Lakers Lamar Odom after knowing him for like an afternoon, well she said, “Hate is disgusting, love is everything.” WTF!! What the hell does that even mean? Intelligence obviously does not run deep in this family. I mean they were spawned from a mother who thought it would be really kool and krazy to give all the girls first names beginning with the letter K.

Anyway, so much for the sanctity of marriage and sacred unions. So much for those who actually value the union and are denied the right versus those who take it for granted. These two should be refused a divorce and forced to reconcile and continue. Wait, that could be part two for the reality show, “Kim and Kris, Working It Out”. At any rate I guess this is what gargantuan breasts and a sex tape can get you. Reality show stardom, unlimited wealth and resources, endorsement deals and a Royal friggin’ wedding. Speaking of which, what about all those gifts? It’s only been 72 days, I know I’d want my toaster back so I could return it.

Just A Few Thoughts

Haven’t written in a while, It’s not that I didn’t have anything to say…just didn’t feel like saying it. Sometimes it’s better to focus on the positive. Like my oldest grandson graduating high school and entering college “celebrate good times, come on” or my partner turning 50 and even though it meant I was turning 55, I somehow felt vindicated when he started receiving AARP solicitations (snickers to himself). Sometimes I sit down at the computer intent on writing the great African–American Manifesto and find myself blindly staring at the screen and muttering to myself, “damn what was I going to say?” Come on I’m not alone, you know what I’m talking about. How many times have you boldly marched into a room and then stood there like Sarah Palin caught in headlights wondering what the hell you came in there for…getting old ain’t easy folks. Anywhooo, what was I saying? Oh yeah, haven’t felt much like writing. So here are some random thoughts on the world since last I wrote.

Anybody else notice how much New Jersey Governor Chris Christie and Chaz Bono look alike? By the way Governor Christie has decided not to run for President in 2012. Apparently he needs more time to focus on his brand as nobody outside of New Jersey knows who the hell he is. And what kind of name is Chris Christie anyway? That’s like naming your child Dave David.

Sarah Palin also decided not to toss her antlers into the race thereby robbing me of at least a year’s worth of sarcastic comments and bon mots thrown her way. Oh yeah, seems that Sarah has a thing for Hot Chocolate as it was revealed that in 1987 she had a one night stand with then budding NBA hopeful Glen Rice while working as a sports reporter for a TV station in Alaska. In her kid sister’s dorm room. Where she smoked some weed. And snorted cocaine. Allegedly…so far no denials.

Herman Coon Cain says if you’re broke and don’t have a job it must be your own fault…I’ll just let that one linger. He also decided to insult the intelligence of African-Americans by stating that the reason he has no African-American supporters is because Democrats have brainwashed African-Americans into not seeing conservatism and the Republican Party as viable options…right. No Hermy, it’s because of the bigoted, racist, intolerable and detestable things and policies the Republican Party has stood for…and oh yeah, we just don’t like you.

Kanye West showed up at the Occupy Wall Street demonstration ironically decked out in enough gold to sink the Titanic.

Michael Jackson’s doctor went on trial for murder and thanks to the intensive, intrusive, show us his lifeless naked body on a gurney media coverage, each day I find I care less and less.

The military finally ditched their ridiculous Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy against Gays serving openly and contrary to conservative rhetoric U.S. servicemen did not chuck their uniforms, tie their shirts in a knot, slip into Daisy Dukes and turn the barracks into a nightly West Hollywood Disco Nights Gay Pride float “dance with me in the disco heat”.

Hank Williams Jr. compared President Obama to Hitler, said the President was the enemy and when ESPN decided to drop his song from their Monday Night Football broadcast he said he was misunderstood. He later decided his free speech rights were being trampled on, accused Faux Fox News of setting him up and released a song Bashing both ESPN and Fox News in a pathetic effort to mine the situation and line his pockets.

The Ku Klux Klan held a rally in Washington D.C. only they didn’t have hooded robes or use the N-word and they called it The Value Voters Summit. They also decided that Mitt Romney is not a Christian and that the Mormon faith is a cult…wait what’s wrong with that?

Speaking of racist, bigoted, hateful folks, Texas Governor Rick Perry found himself in a bit of brouhaha when it was revealed that his family’s ranch in Texas was once called Niggerhead Rock. Perry claims his family painted over the sign bearing the name when they purchased the property but maybe next time they should switch to Dutch Boy. According to those in the area, the name Niggerhead Rock is still clearly visible and according to Wallar Overton the son of Governor Perry’s Scoutmaster in his home county of Haskell the property “has always been known by that name” and “it’s just what it was called from day one, that’s just what people call it”. Niggerhead Rock really, I couldn’t even make that up.

Finally, the Congressional Black Caucus (CBC) claimed that President Obama wasn’t doing enough for Black folks to which he replied, stop complaining, get off your asses and get something done your damnselves! This caused Maxine Waters to smack her lips, rotate her head, point her finger and say “I know he ain’t talking to me.” (Actual quote) Seriously while the Tea Party works to dismantle the government and take the country back, Republicans in both houses work to ensure President Obama is a one term president while denying everything he proposes and the economy slips further and further into ruin these Negative Nellie’s feel it’s the appropriate time to bitch and moan to our President for not paying attention to the African-American community. How about his jobs bill, the healthcare plan or the stimulus package? Aren’t these things that affect the African-American community? Tell you what Maxine and the Gang, let President Obama start focusing specifically on African-Americans and be prepared to witness the vitriol unleashed by his critics and opponents. Here’s a better idea, get some bills passed and go out and get some votes for our President.

I really could go on.

Shake Your Groove Thing

Seriously??!!... 5.8?? This is what it takes to send people on the East Coast panicking and running into the streets like Godzilla was attacking? I heard reports of terrified citizens storming out of buildings predicting some type of end of the world Armageddon. Please, here in California we routinely ride a 5.8 earthquake in our sleep. Our pets don’t even wake up. Seriously, you turn to your spouse sleeping next to you and ask, “Refried bean burrito for lunch?” If we evacuated buildings and shut down work for every damn 5.8 that hit we’d never get any work done…wait that’s not such a bad idea. Really, according to news reports tens of thousands of people were evacuated from buildings and schools and roads were closed, which really was a problem as the caravan of trucks carrying Donald Trump’s hairspray were delayed. And you should see the looks on their faces running from buildings looking like they just caught a glimpse of Rosie O’Donnell’s striptease act or something.

For years folks on the east coast have ridiculed us for our earthquakes telling us how they don’t compare to the devastation caused by other natural disasters. You know, all the tornadoes, hurricanes, ice storms, Tammy from the Basketball Wives. But now a little tremor knocks your favorite Rembrandt crooked in your pretentious million dollar 200 square foot high rise apartment and you get all crazy. Meanwhile as these idiots sit under their kitchen tables, we here in California wait for the San Andreas Fault to do the Cupid Shuffle slide us into the Pacific and create an island making us the United State of California, while everyone rushes to buy up property at the newly formed Las Vegas Marina. And now they’re complaining about the small aftershocks of 2.8, like they thought it was over after one jolt. Please, a 2.8 aftershock is like the belch you get from too much Pepsi. I’ve gotten so used to the tremors that when one hits and I’m at work my only concern is to rush home to make sure none of my Cognac has bounced off the shelf.

So as New Yorkers prepare their “I Survived the East Coast Quake of 2011” t-shirts, we here in Southern Cali are preparing for the wild fire season to be followed by mudslides and houses sliding into one another. Included in this will be the one to two inches of our rainy season where drivers lose their minds forget how to signal and slam into each other on the 405 as newscasters warn us of Storm Watch 2011, while wearing shorts and tank tops. So yes we’ll continue to laugh and mock the idiotic reactions of these East Coast wimps, like this nut from the Baltimore Ravens who was filming a promo when the quake hit http://spo¬rts.yahoo.¬com/nfl/bl-og/shutdow¬n_corner/p¬ost/I-get-¬the-feelin¬g-Torrey-S¬mith-isn-8¬217-t-used¬-?urn=nfl-¬wp5755 . Where the hell is he going? What is he thinking, “I’ll just leave the safety of a wide open football field and head for some building that may be falling.” ...dumb ass. Of course our attitudes may change if a freak hurricane ever hits LA but at least that would give our newscasters a real Storm Watch to report on and a reason to pull out all those winter coats we’ve been storing up…and just imagine the 405.

Avoiding the Help

Now don’t get me wrong I’m up for a really nice feel good movie as much as anyone else but when I saw the ads for the latest perky white woman with great intentions, saves the day by teaching oppressed African-Americans that they are beautiful in spite of their conditions, themselves and their surroundings, I thought to myself, this is bull. Yeah I said it. I’m sick of these depictions of the saintly white and usually blonde angel floating in to save the day, ala The Blind Side, for us po African-American folk who can’t do it for ourselves. By the way, I refused to see that one too. Unfortunately, this is not some historical tale of African-American female empowerment during a troubling time in American history. This is not a story of how they overcame their oppressors and triumphed against all odds. Instead what we get is some sanitized fictional version of the African-American experience written and told through the paternalistic eyes of a White person minus all the ugliness and pain endured geared to play into the White liberal guilt of its target audience.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting you don’t see it, films featuring African-American Actors are few and far between. It’s just not a story I care to see again. I’m sure there are great performances and especially from Viola Davis, a well respected two time Tony Award winning and previously Oscar nominated actress. The word is she’ll be nominated again for this role but my question is, why does she have to get nominated for playing a maid. Is this 1939 and Hattie McDaniel? I can’t remember the last time Meryl Streep received an Oscar for playing a maid...oh yeah, it was never. Why is such a well respected and honored actress reduced to playing such a role? This was a time of lynching, rape and murder for African-American men and women if they even looked at White people sideways so why was this role even written as the background for a happy story. Yeah I’m sure there were happy times for African-American folks during this era, I’m just not so sure they came as a result of some fresh from college animated southern White woman from the 1930’s who thought, “them po, po nigras I sho would like to help em”.

There is a story to be told here but I think it’s one about the countless number of white children raised by their African-American Mammies for whom they professed love but grew up to be hateful racists when they came into contact with the general population and the real world. You know kind of like White Republican Senator Strom Thurmond who fathered a child with his family’s African-American maid. The same Senator Thurmond who grew to be one of the most vile and loathsome separate but not equal seeking, Civil Rights Act opposing bigots of the 20th century. May he not rest in peace. But I guess that wouldn’t make anybody feel good.

The Big House

So they finally managed to turn President Obama into just another brother with bad credit, a mortgage he can’t afford and tapped out equity. By consistently blocking the raising of the debt ceiling, the Republicans sought to make him a credit risk in the eyes of voters. In fact the whole debt ceiling crisis was one manufactured by Republicans and if not for them we would not be facing a credit downgrade.A manufactured crisis, because the fact is the debt ceiling has been consistently raised under every presidential administration since Jimmy Carter…and without controversy. Ronald Reagan about tripled the debt limit in 8 years and George W. Bush nearly doubled it.

So why did something as routine as a credit limit increase turn into a national nightmare? Well according to Senate Republican leader Mitch McConnell, “the single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term President” as if that wasn’t already abundantly clear. At least Mr. McConnell is honest in voicing his intentions. What we ended up with is a plan that doesn’t reduce the federal debt by one cent. What it did instead was instill fear into the minds of voters that President Obama may bankrupt the government and more importantly it gives the Republicans an issue to run on in the next election cycle. Apparently for Mr. McConnell and his fellow Republicans a debt downgrade is an acceptable cost of doing politics…no matter the repercussions.

Of course President Obama’s approval ratings are taking an expected decline, except with African-Americans and not surprisingly. From the beginning the attacks on President Obama by the right have been vicious and savagely racists. In my opinion President Obama has the undying support of most African-Americans because we take those attacks personally as he is one of our own. When he is attacked, we all are. This latest crisis only further validates this in the minds of most. It’s not that we can’t be critical of our President, there are things he and his fellow Democrats could have done differently. The least of which, would have been to push through the debt limit increase when the Democrats controlled the house during the President’s first two years of office. The problem is that we can all relate to these bigoted assaults. The empathy we have for President Obama is understood by us and earned legitimately.

Recently, the President celebrated his 50th birthday at the White House with invited guests and performances featuring Stevie Wonder, Ledisi & Herbie Hancock. Included was a DJ who played Classic Motown and 70’s and 80’s R&B and soul music. The next day FOX News ran a headline on their website which read “Obama’s Hip-Hop Event Didn’t Create Jobs”. Included were photos of Chris Rock, Jay Z and Charles Barkley. Nowhere did it mention the many white celebrities, including Tom Hanks and Barbara Streisand, who attended the party. FOX News has also referred to the White House as Hizzhouse, Hizzy and The Big Crib. This is wrong on so many levels that it’s not even worth discussing. Still, it does explain why we feel the way we do about our President.

Contenders

If you had told me in 2006 that a new breed of politician would gain prominence on the national stage that could cause me to look on George W. Bush as a fairly reasonable, senior statesman I would have called you crazy. But just look at what we’ve got as competition for President Obama in next year’s election.

Rick Perry the current Governor of Texas said he heard God call to him to say he should run for President. All I have to say is haven’t you ever gotten a message intended for someone else from someone who had the wrong number. I mean how do we know God was really calling him? Isn’t it possible for God’s lines to get crossed? Really, he's got a full schedule no assistant and makes a lot of calls. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying God’s imperfect but it was his idea to make us different colors so he could tell us apart….just saying. Anyway, this is the man who in defiance of President Obama’s healthcare program threatened to have Texas secede from the Union, in spite of Texas having the worst uninsured healthcare rate of any state in the country. He was a loud and vocal critic of the President’s stimulus program but then used the money to balance his state’s budget. This Born Again Christian allowed the execution of a likely innocent man when he could have intervened and then impeded the investigation into the matter. Then he gutted Texas childcare services even as Texas childcare poverty rate hit 25 percent. Born again? Yeah, but to what?

Michelle Bachman. There are way too many crazies that listen to this nut job. And how is it that people in her own party refuse to call out the hypocrisy of her family using federal dollars to do personal business and then refusing to talk about it? Besides, she has crazy eyes. This woman believes the Founding Forefathers were against slavery. You remember the Founding Forefathers which included Washington & Jefferson both of whom owned slaves, a few of which Jefferson himself fathered. The Founding Forefathers who stated slaves were only 3/5 of a man…yeah them. And don’t get me started on her closeted husband and his crazy reparative therapy program to turn gay people straight. What. You don’t think he’s gay? Have you seen this man? I offer this as evidence http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sFp0tnb7Wo come on that man is gayer than an Easter bonnet. He says gay people are “sinful barbarians” I say self-loathing dancing queen.

And speaking of self-loathing, what about Herman Cain the African-American Republican candidate. This man makes Steppin Fetchit look like Malcolm X. The only thing missing is a banjo. The man has never met a conservative white ass he didn’t immediately want to kiss. Mr. Crazy Pants has quite a few fanatical ideas about how the United States should be run. The former CEO of Godfather’s Pizza thinks radical Muslims are trying to infiltrate our government, Gay people have become too powerful and should be limited in their rights and African-Americans need to stop being victocrats get off welfare and get jobs. He refuses to criticize the GOP or the conservative movement for their lack of diversity and doesn’t think the Tea Party is racist. He just feels most African-Americans are too poor to attend their events. Thanks Herman, it’s good to know its money and not racism keeping African-Americans from the Tea Party. If elected he would only sign small bills…small as in 3 pages or less…ok. He wants to build a wall along the Mexican border but not just any wall he wants one modeled on the Great Wall of China complete with a moat filled with alligators. Typical conservative rhetoric, but it’s just weird hearing it coming from a Black man. Although that last one is just plain nuts.

Rick Santorum one of the few to sign the Marriage Pledge, along with Michelle Bachman and Mitt Romney. The pledge which seeks to deny marriage and civil unions to gay people and also states that black families were better off during slavery because there was a mother and father in the household…I’ll let that settle for a moment. Yep folks the National Organization for Marriage (NOM) headed by Maggie Gallagher, who to me looks like the skipper from Gilligan’s Island in drag, thinks that Black families were better off during slavery. Ahhh the good ole days of slavery, when you knew where to get a good meal & a nice warm cot to sleep on in a dank cold shack. When Black women endured nightly rapes by slave owners, men, women and children were traded off and sold like cattle, beaten and forced to live in inhumane conditions....good times. Yep he signed it and then tried to take it back.

Which leaves us with the aforementioned Mitt Romney, the Mormon and former Governor of Massachusetts. Yes the Mormons who until 1978 had a policy of excluding African-Americans from Priesthood and participation in temple ceremonies and in fact believed we had no souls. The same no coffee drinking, caffeine free, spirit prison, Negroes not entitled to the full blessing of the Gospel, multiple heaven having Mormons. The fact that this man is a Mormon may not be enough to disqualify him as a Presidential candidate for some but it’s enough for me. This is the same hypocrite who criticized President Obama’s healthcare program even though many say it was modeled after the one he created himself for Massachusetts and in the last election had trouble distinguishing between then Senator Barack Obama and known terrorist Osama Bin Laden.

Of course there are many, many more but I just don’t have the time or space to list them all and most of them are no longer serious contenders anyway, including the Thrilla from Wasilla, Sarah Palin. Considering the number of possible Republican candidates I guess a greater question to ask is, how many Republicans it takes to screw a President.

Oh No He Didn’t

I’m sure by now everyone has heard the story of the woman who was put off the train because she was talking loudly on her cell phone in the car reserved for quiet. According to reports signs are clearly displayed throughout the car prohibiting cell phone usage and requesting passengers to remain as quiet as possible. When I heard the train had departed from Oakland, California I thought to myself, “please don’t let her be a Black woman”. Then I heard her name, Lakeysha Beard. Now I don’t know about you but I don’t know any white women named Lakeysha. But then I saw her being escorted off the train, pure ghetto from the outfit to the hair, and I imagined how the scene may have taken place.

Train Passenger: “Ma’am could you please get off your phone, this is the Quiet Car.”

Lakeysha (on the phone in an extremely loud voice): “ Oooh girl no he didn’t…he just told me I need to get off the phone”

Towanda: “Unh unh girl don’t let him disrespect you like that”

Lakeysha: “I know hunh.” (to the passenger) “don’t be disrespecting me and getting all up in my face. I will go off up in here.”

Train Passenger: “But ma’am this is the Quiet Car, no cell phones are allowed.”

Lakeysha: “You don’t tell me what to do, I am a grown ass woman. I will talk wherever I want to and you can kiss my ass.” To Towanda, “so anyway girl I told Trinesha girl don’t let yo’ man treat you like that and she said…wait a minute, this fool done went and got the Conductor.”

Train Conductor: “Excuse me Miss but you’ll have to either get off the phone or move to another car, cell phones are not allowed in the Quiet Car.”

Lakeysha (twisting her neck for emphasis): “I will hang up when I finish my conversation and you can both kiss my ass.” (mutters to herself) “Gone tell me what to do, shit I will light this motha up.” Turns her head and continues her conversation with Towanda.

Train Conductor: “Ma’am if you do not hang up I will have you removed from the train.”

Lakeysha: “Girl, no he didn’t.” (turns to face conductor) “You put yo’ hands on me and I will own Miss Amtrak and all her damn trains, now get out ma face fo’ I really go off on yo’ ass.”

The train conductor leaves and Lakeysha continues her conversation, loudly. A short time later the train comes to an abrupt halt and two uniformed police officers board and along with the conductor approach Lakeysha.

Lakeysha: “Towanda girl let me handle this, I’ll call you right back.”

Police Officer: “Come with us Miss, you’re under arrest.”

Lakeysha: “For what?”

Police Officer: “Disturbing the peace ma’am.”

And for the first time in nearly 16 hours Miss Lakeysha Beard is silent and led off the train and a round of applause is heard from the Quiet Car.

Fried Chicken & Black Panthers

You know when I heard that the conservative right was up in arms over the invitation extended to rapper Common to attend a White house Celebration of the Arts earlier this week I considered the source and thought I’d move on. I mean they act like the First lady invited a bunch of gangsta rappers who were gonna show up with saggin’ pants, bandanas, throwing up gang signs and grabbing their crotches. Really, as far as rappers go, you couldn’t get much safer than Common without extending an invite to Will Smith. At any rate he’s certainly not the “vile rapper” described by Fox News, come on last year the man starred opposite Queen Latifah in a romantic comedy or fantasy or whatever it was because really how believable was that one but we’ll save that for another debate. Anyway, this is the same Fox News who just six months ago was praising Common and saying he is a role model for kids. Of course Sarah Palin “selectively quoted” two lines from one of Common’s poems directed at former President Bush where he said “burn a Bush for peace”…wow somebody call the radical police. In the same poem Common also says “tell the law, my Uzi weighs a ton.” By the way am I the only one who remembers when NWA rapper Easy E, who wrote violent lyrics against police as a hobby, was invited to a White House event hosted by the first President Bush? And yes, he did show up in saggin’ pants! Anyway, it’s called conscience rap Sarah, something you obviously don’t possess. I swear just when I think I couldn’t possibly hate her more she opens up her mouth and speaks. She also said the invitation was “lacking in class and decency.” (sighs heavily) Seriously, when does this woman’s 15 minutes end?

But then folks they really crossed the line. They went after my beloved Jill. Yes Jill Scott!! You know Jill who wanted to take a long walk around the block and spark some conversation verbal elation and stimulation… yeah her! The first Lady invited Ms. Scott to attend and read poetry as well. Now she’s being called a racist because of comments she made in an Essence Magazine article in which she expressed the subconscious discomfort she feels when seeing a Black man dating a white woman. Every conservative media outlet in the country immediately accused her of being racist and trotted out the old reliable, “now if a white person had said that”. First of all, who even knew bigots read Essence? Secondly, what they failed to do of course was to quote Ms. Scott fully. She also stated that she has internal conflict with her views on interracial dating as “I was raised to view everyone as equal, despite the color of their skin.” Not a single article I read from any of the right wing outlets included this quote. Racist, I think not. She simply expressed a heartfelt and honest opinion which she herself finds contradictory.

It all comes down to the conservatives attempts to scare White America into thinking that now that we have a Black President he wants to subvert the country and the White House. They would have you believe there’s a Black Panther rally going on in the White House every night along with watermelon, fried chicken and Olde English 800. Seriously, neither of these two invitees would be described as radical by anyone other than a rightwing nut. I don’t recall anybody checking the guest list for any of the Bush Soirees. I mean they certainly wouldn’t invite anyone who wrote fanatical lyrics like "early one mornin' while makin' the rounds, I took a shot of cocaine and I shot my woman down", no sir those lyrics were written by Mr. Johnny Cash…oh wait, wasn’t he personally honored by President George W. Bush at the White House? And didn’t I read somewhere that the Bush’s claim to be big fans of Bob Marley? But I guess that’s ok because even though he shot the sheriff he did not shoot the deputy.

Credit Due

Former President George W. Bush has declined an invitation from President Obama to attend today’s ceremony at the World Trade Center site and according to the New York Daily News he believes it is a publicity stunt and that President Obama is “taking all the credit” for finding and killing Osama Bin Laden. Want to talk publicity stunts Georgie? How about “mission accomplished” and that ridiculous jumpsuit you wore on that aircraft carrier? How about you were too busy for seven years with that made up war in Iraq to even look for Bin Laden? How about you grabbing a bullhorn at the World Trade Center site to say you would avenge the attacks and then a mere six months after, you said that it “wasn’t important” to find him. It just amazes me how when something positive happens for the President, the Republicans want to take credit but never for the negative. You know what you big baby how about you take credit for the recession, the mortgage meltdown and the two trillion dollar wars? Of course it’s for publicity but if the mission had failed it would have all been President Obama’s fault and nobody would be looking for credit.

Born In The USA

I believe Michael Jackson said it best in the 1978 film The Wiz:

You can't win,
You can't break even
Ain't the way it's supposed to be
You can't win, child
You can't break even
And you can't get out of the game

Yesterday President Obama released the long form copy of his birth certificate with the intent to put to rest all of this birther nonsense…yeah, well not so much. The president stated “We do not have time for this kind of silliness. We’ve got better stuff to do," and also said “Over the last two and half years, I have watched with amusement. I have been puzzled with the degree with which this thing just kept going,”… indeed. Donald Trump, who immediately held a press conference after the release of the document, took credit stating he was “very proud” of himself for “accomplishing what no one else was able to accomplish,” before adding that he would still need to inspect the birth certificate…honestly, the balls on this man must be humongous. Meanwhile the Republicans were busy discrediting the President and saying he was distracting American citizens from the matters at hand. Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney said, “What President Obama should really be releasing is a jobs plan”. Reince Priebus, newly elected chairman of the Republican National Committee declared, “This issue is a distraction. Our economy is strained from out of control deficits, debt, and unsustainable entitlements”, no shit and further added, “Unfortunately his campaign politics and talk about birth certificates is distracting him from our number one priority – our economy.” Wow, his talk about birth certificates? They act as though President Obama concocted this nonsense. These are the same people who have done absolutely nothing to quell the birthers within their own party and some of whom have actually encouraged them. Now when The President finally addresses these nuts, they insist his priorities are out of order.

In the end, will it make any difference? Most certainly not. Donald Trump and the nut job birthers can examine the President’s birth certificate until the cows come home it won’t change a thing because it’s all about race. It doesn’t matter that experts, government officials and even the Republican Governor of Hawaii have verified the President’s Certificate of Live Birth. It doesn’t matter that this is the official document issued to all citizens of the state of Hawaii. Some people just cannot get it in their minds that a Black man could possibly become President of the United States so they have to invent and invoke crackpot schemes and nonsensical issues to question his right to hold the position. I’m sure that right now someone somewhere is insisting the birth certificate is somehow fake or forged. Meanwhile, Donald Trump is questioning President Obama’s admission into Harvard as if he got in on some experimental admissions program or something other than his scholastic aptitude. Oh and by the way Mr. Trump, where are those tax returns you promised?

Words

Kobe Bryant has come under fire for using the word faggot as a derogatory term hurled at a referee who made a call to which he disagreed. When I heard this my first thought was “Uh oh this could be bad” but then he issued an apology and I thought everything would be fine... until I heard the apology. What he offered was the standard celebrity non-apology, sorry you’re so damn sensitive excuse, which typically goes something like I’m sorry but not really because... What he actually said was “My actions were out of frustration during the heat of the game, period,” and “the words expressed do not reflect my feelings towards the gay and lesbian communities and were not meant to offend anyone.” I beg to differ. The word faggot is meant to be demeaning with the intention of stripping the target of his manhood...period. It is a hateful degrading word used to embarrass and disrespect others and whether used in frustration or anger the intent is to offend its target. Within all of his rage and emotional anger Kobe wanted to offend the referee in what he conceived as the worst possible way. If a White player had called Kobe a nigger in frustration and his apology was “I’m sorry but I got mad” would that be acceptable? And it doesn’t matter whether or not the referee was actually gay, it is an offensive word meant to hurt...period. Now is it the end of the world and do I think Kobe is a homophobe? No, he made a mistake but even in the heat of the moment as a responsible adult and role model for children, shouldn’t he have chosen another word to deal with his anger? Even if he didn’t, if he had said so wouldn’t that have been a more appropriate apology?

A couple of days later I was listening to a local Black radio program and when the subject came up the debate turned to the use of the word faggot vs. nigger, the common view being that faggot is not as bad nigger. As I listened it quickly became obvious that the majority of the callers into the program perceived the Gay Movement as a White cause based on their perceived invisibility of Black gays. Now I believe the word nigger does not have the same connotation or history as the word faggot and neither does the history of the Gay Movement compare to that of the persecution, violence and dehumanization faced by Black people in this country, but some of the comments I heard were ignorant, stupid or outright bigoted. The most frequently used being “as a Black person I wake up Black every day, but a gay person can hide who they are". Wow! Whether you perceive homosexuality as a choice or something inherent it should not be something you have to hide or lie about to get through the day. Just because someone can conceal their sexual orientation does not make it "better" and there are people who wake up Black and fight for gay rights every day. Or how about, “those gay people want to hijack the civil rights movement”. This statement is so absolutely ridiculous and exclusionary as it assumes two things. Number one that civil rights are exclusive to Black people only and number two “those gay people” supposes that gay people are automatically assumed to be White. I got a statement for you try being both Black and gay and being called both a faggot and a nigger on a number of occasions.

Bottom line, having hatred hurled at you in any form is a terrible and degrading feeling. Words should not be overlooked as a means of hate and loathing. What Kobe said is homophobic and bothersome. Here's why. He told the world "I am mad at you right now and because of that I equate you with someone who is gay." I don’t care that he said it to a straight person and what resulted may not have been his intent but it's simply homophobic to say being gay is equal to being stupid or an asshole...period.

The Art Of The Comb Over

When I first heard the news that Donald Trump was running for president I thought to myself, “this has got to be some sort of bad joke”. I mean who in their right mind would vote for this self-absorbed, opinionated boob. And if elected are his plans to fire the country when he fails as President? Well it’s true and he’s actually gaining traction among his fellow Republicans and now the hairdo challenged failed businessman has jumped on the “birther” bandwagon and gotten it into his head that President Obama was not born in this country. He first showed up on The View with this nonsense and recently went on the Today Show to inform America that in spite of the fact that the State of Hawaii, as well as the Governor, has certified the birth and citizenship of President Obama, he has demanded to see the President’s birth certificate. He then produced a document intended to prove his own citizenship which turned out to not even be a birth certificate. Now the attention seeking buffoon and possible illegal alien says he has dispatched investigators to the state of Hawaii to look into the controversy.

This is obviously a man who will do anything for publicity and TV ratings. Who does he think he is “dispatching investigators” anywhere and other than the nut job birthers, who does he think will even buy into his findings? He needs to send those investigators to New Jersey to look into his scams and bankruptcies or how about they investigate what he’s hiding under that hair don’t. What his investigators are likely to find is that the State of Hawaii as well many other states no longer keep original documentation and instead issue a Certificate of Live Birth. Do Trump and his birther buddies expect Government agencies to store thousands of boxes forever? Welcome to the 21st century folks and the age of paperless storage. But what more could you expect? This is the same man who claimed the clueless and attention deprived La Toya Jackson a winner on the latest edition of his reality show Washed Up and Craving Attention Nutt Job Wanna Be Celebrity Apprentice. And now this showboating swindler says that President Obama might be a Muslim too?

Even the deceitful and recently fired from FOX News propagandist Glenn Beck said Mr. Trump’s talk makes him uncomfortable, and for good reason. Glenn Beck as well as most Republicans knows that this type of talk can only hurt their party and will send responsible thinking voters to President Obama’s camp. So I say bring it on. Trump is currently polling second in New Hampshire so let’s get more of these idiots with their ludicrous unfounded statements and their “let’s get Obama” agenda. It can only help President Obama in his bid for a second term. In fact where the hell is Sarah Palin when you need her? Oh and be on the lookout for Donald Trump’s next reality show Celebrity Bankruptcy sure to be coming your way soon on NBC. In the meantime how about we fire him…and that thing on his head too.

The Death of Nigger Jim

So the current publishers of Mark Twain’s classic novel, Huckleberry Finn, have decided to remove the word nigger from the book. Used over 200 times in the book including the constant reference to the runaway slave, nigger Jim, the word is set to be replaced with the word “slave”...Really? Slave Jim? The publisher says he felt discomfort over the language and by the reactions of younger readers. I’m not sure how young his readers are but I remember reading the book around the 8th or 9th grade and being able to understand the use of the word in context. I remember having teachers with whom I and my fellow students discussed the practice of the word as a chronicle of the time in which it was written. As I recall Jim was not even his real name and nigger Jim was used as a generic term for unnamed slaves. I was intelligent enough to understand that although the word was used as a put down and to keep black people “in their place” it had the complete opposite effect on Jim as nigger Jim was not the typical grinning Sambo as so many Blacks of that time were depicted. In fact he was an intelligent, courageous and complex character and really is the hero of the book.

So because some publisher is uncomfortable and to protect those who may be offended with its use we should pretend the word never existed and white wash the era and the history the book represents. This reminds me of the Arizona law enacted last year which makes it illegal to teach ethnic study courses in Arizona public schools as they teach minorities that they are oppressed by White people...Right! The fact is that the language contained in Mark Twain’s novel is important to the story and historically accurate for the period. Are we to edit all historical references and pretend like the hard, ugly parts of American history never happened to protect those from being potentially offended? Do we no longer show footage of the civil rights era because it includes recordings of Blacks being beaten and abused in the south by Whites? What about Richard Wright’s “Native Son”, Ralph Ellison's "Invisible Man" and the “Autobiography of Malcolm X”? Should they all be kiddie proofed as well?

The new publisher says he felt discomfort over Twain’s language and the reactions of younger readers. I say the younger readers should react and should be allowed to discuss rather than pretend an important part of American history never happened...and screw his discomfort. The use of the word in the book’s initial publishing caused very little controversy which makes it important to see how casually the word nigger was passed around during historical eras and it’s equally important to know why. To change the character’s name to slave Jim will only dismiss the dehumanization the character faced and further add to the revisionist history being pushed by the conservative movement. A movement which insist racism no longer exist in what they call the post racial Obama era and that the Civil War was solely about State’s rights. And anyway Jim was no longer a slave to anyone once he ran away but in their eyes he was always a nigger.