Words

Kobe Bryant has come under fire for using the word faggot as a derogatory term hurled at a referee who made a call to which he disagreed. When I heard this my first thought was “Uh oh this could be bad” but then he issued an apology and I thought everything would be fine... until I heard the apology. What he offered was the standard celebrity non-apology, sorry you’re so damn sensitive excuse, which typically goes something like I’m sorry but not really because... What he actually said was “My actions were out of frustration during the heat of the game, period,” and “the words expressed do not reflect my feelings towards the gay and lesbian communities and were not meant to offend anyone.” I beg to differ. The word faggot is meant to be demeaning with the intention of stripping the target of his manhood...period. It is a hateful degrading word used to embarrass and disrespect others and whether used in frustration or anger the intent is to offend its target. Within all of his rage and emotional anger Kobe wanted to offend the referee in what he conceived as the worst possible way. If a White player had called Kobe a nigger in frustration and his apology was “I’m sorry but I got mad” would that be acceptable? And it doesn’t matter whether or not the referee was actually gay, it is an offensive word meant to hurt...period. Now is it the end of the world and do I think Kobe is a homophobe? No, he made a mistake but even in the heat of the moment as a responsible adult and role model for children, shouldn’t he have chosen another word to deal with his anger? Even if he didn’t, if he had said so wouldn’t that have been a more appropriate apology?

A couple of days later I was listening to a local Black radio program and when the subject came up the debate turned to the use of the word faggot vs. nigger, the common view being that faggot is not as bad nigger. As I listened it quickly became obvious that the majority of the callers into the program perceived the Gay Movement as a White cause based on their perceived invisibility of Black gays. Now I believe the word nigger does not have the same connotation or history as the word faggot and neither does the history of the Gay Movement compare to that of the persecution, violence and dehumanization faced by Black people in this country, but some of the comments I heard were ignorant, stupid or outright bigoted. The most frequently used being “as a Black person I wake up Black every day, but a gay person can hide who they are". Wow! Whether you perceive homosexuality as a choice or something inherent it should not be something you have to hide or lie about to get through the day. Just because someone can conceal their sexual orientation does not make it "better" and there are people who wake up Black and fight for gay rights every day. Or how about, “those gay people want to hijack the civil rights movement”. This statement is so absolutely ridiculous and exclusionary as it assumes two things. Number one that civil rights are exclusive to Black people only and number two “those gay people” supposes that gay people are automatically assumed to be White. I got a statement for you try being both Black and gay and being called both a faggot and a nigger on a number of occasions.

Bottom line, having hatred hurled at you in any form is a terrible and degrading feeling. Words should not be overlooked as a means of hate and loathing. What Kobe said is homophobic and bothersome. Here's why. He told the world "I am mad at you right now and because of that I equate you with someone who is gay." I don’t care that he said it to a straight person and what resulted may not have been his intent but it's simply homophobic to say being gay is equal to being stupid or an asshole...period.