Never Trust A Big Butt And A Smile

I hate Kim Kardashian. I’ve never met the woman and I hate her. I hate her because I know so much about her life even though I don’t want to. I hate her because I can correctly spell her name without first checking. I hate her sisters, her mother and I even hate Bruce Jenner who married her mom and has a face lift that looks straight out of Frankenstein (really, it’s frightening)…I hate them all. This woman who made herself a household name based on a big ass and a "leaked" sex tape was paid over 18 million dollars for a televised wedding extravaganza that I frankly never cared about and thankfully didn’t see. 18 million dollars and it only lasted 72 days. That’s $250,000 a day folks…I hate her.

I hate the fact that this reality show whore star was able to fool so many into believing this was a real marriage to begin with. The divorce news came via Ryan Seacrest who just happens to be executive producer of her reality show and now rumor says that it was an arrangement to boost ratings for the show and that her now former husband, old what’s his name, wasn’t even her first choice to play the role. Apparently he was caught off guard as when he heard the news he stated, "I love my wife and am devastated to learn she filed for divorce... I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make it work." Huh? Kris didn’t you read your contract? 72 days buddy, 72 days. But don’t feel bad for him as per his prenuptial agreement I’m sure he stands to earn a substantial payday and with him being an unemployed free-agent for the seemingly missing in action NBA, I’m sure it helps.

Today Mama Kardashian, Kris (did I mention I hate her?) went on the offensive denying rumors of a nefariously plotted, ratings boosting publicity stunt. Stating, “It’s just a horrible, horrible situation. I feel bad for the kids.” Yeah right those poor kids cause you know they're like all sad and stuff and by the way she has new book out today, available on amazon.com. Meanwhile, Big Booty’s sister also went on the attack. Khole, you know the one who married Los Angeles Lakers Lamar Odom after knowing him for like an afternoon, well she said, “Hate is disgusting, love is everything.” WTF!! What the hell does that even mean? Intelligence obviously does not run deep in this family. I mean they were spawned from a mother who thought it would be really kool and krazy to give all the girls first names beginning with the letter K.

Anyway, so much for the sanctity of marriage and sacred unions. So much for those who actually value the union and are denied the right versus those who take it for granted. These two should be refused a divorce and forced to reconcile and continue. Wait, that could be part two for the reality show, “Kim and Kris, Working It Out”. At any rate I guess this is what gargantuan breasts and a sex tape can get you. Reality show stardom, unlimited wealth and resources, endorsement deals and a Royal friggin’ wedding. Speaking of which, what about all those gifts? It’s only been 72 days, I know I’d want my toaster back so I could return it.