Oh No He Didn’t

I’m sure by now everyone has heard the story of the woman who was put off the train because she was talking loudly on her cell phone in the car reserved for quiet. According to reports signs are clearly displayed throughout the car prohibiting cell phone usage and requesting passengers to remain as quiet as possible. When I heard the train had departed from Oakland, California I thought to myself, “please don’t let her be a Black woman”. Then I heard her name, Lakeysha Beard. Now I don’t know about you but I don’t know any white women named Lakeysha. But then I saw her being escorted off the train, pure ghetto from the outfit to the hair, and I imagined how the scene may have taken place.

Train Passenger: “Ma’am could you please get off your phone, this is the Quiet Car.”

Lakeysha (on the phone in an extremely loud voice): “ Oooh girl no he didn’t…he just told me I need to get off the phone”

Towanda: “Unh unh girl don’t let him disrespect you like that”

Lakeysha: “I know hunh.” (to the passenger) “don’t be disrespecting me and getting all up in my face. I will go off up in here.”

Train Passenger: “But ma’am this is the Quiet Car, no cell phones are allowed.”

Lakeysha: “You don’t tell me what to do, I am a grown ass woman. I will talk wherever I want to and you can kiss my ass.” To Towanda, “so anyway girl I told Trinesha girl don’t let yo’ man treat you like that and she said…wait a minute, this fool done went and got the Conductor.”

Train Conductor: “Excuse me Miss but you’ll have to either get off the phone or move to another car, cell phones are not allowed in the Quiet Car.”

Lakeysha (twisting her neck for emphasis): “I will hang up when I finish my conversation and you can both kiss my ass.” (mutters to herself) “Gone tell me what to do, shit I will light this motha up.” Turns her head and continues her conversation with Towanda.

Train Conductor: “Ma’am if you do not hang up I will have you removed from the train.”

Lakeysha: “Girl, no he didn’t.” (turns to face conductor) “You put yo’ hands on me and I will own Miss Amtrak and all her damn trains, now get out ma face fo’ I really go off on yo’ ass.”

The train conductor leaves and Lakeysha continues her conversation, loudly. A short time later the train comes to an abrupt halt and two uniformed police officers board and along with the conductor approach Lakeysha.

Lakeysha: “Towanda girl let me handle this, I’ll call you right back.”

Police Officer: “Come with us Miss, you’re under arrest.”

Lakeysha: “For what?”

Police Officer: “Disturbing the peace ma’am.”

And for the first time in nearly 16 hours Miss Lakeysha Beard is silent and led off the train and a round of applause is heard from the Quiet Car.