Free Stuff

The NAACP held its annual convention this week in Houston and Mitt Romney showed up to speak talk down to them…and was promptly booed like an off key singer at the Apollo Theater attempting a Whitney Houston song. In spite of this I think his little publicity stunt worked as he had planned. Romney walked into a crowd of obvious President Obama supporters and swiftly began attacking the president’s policies, generally putting him down and referencing his health care plan as the derogatory Obamacare. Anyone who did this would expect to get booed…right? You don’t go to an event sponsored by the nation’s oldest civil rights organization and toss out Tea Party inspired slang against the first African-American President. I don’t know maybe with this crowd he should have actually referenced the real name of the health care legislation. He said, “If you want a president who will make things better in the African American community, you are looking at him.”…feel free to insert your own comment here. When the crowd reacted negatively as expected and booed he said, “You take a look”.. I have no idea what he meant by that so I don't have a snarky comment. But what was most telling of his ultimate intention was when he spoke later in the day to a crowd of his mostly white supporters in Montana and told them if those in the NAACP audience like "free stuff," from the government they should vote for Obama…wait, what now? Health care, a decent living wage, benefits and a pension are considered free stuff?

The truth is Romney was being deliberately provocative and he got exactly the reaction he wanted, so now he can boast of his ability to speak truth to those people. This was to show conservative voters "Oh well, I tried" and make him look like he is reaching out to the black community. Julian Bond said after Romney's speech, "He was speaking to that slice of white America that hasn't made up its mind about him, and he's saying, I can say things to them that they don't like, so I'm not afraid to stand up to them.” His statements only serve to further entrench himself with people who think Black people want and get benefits without "earning" them. Free Stuff, was this statement meant to infer that the NAACP audience was full of welfare and food stamp recipients? Well guess what, of the 46 million people living in poverty in America, in 2010 the U.S. census revealed that 31 million were white, ten million were black. Of the 49 million people without health insurance coverage, 37 million were white; 8 million were African-American. Latinos and Asian-Americans represented the remaining largest ethnic groups. White Americans, poor and middle-class alike, receive the vast majority of tax-funded government assistance programs, from monthly assistance to Social Security to food stamps. But truth is not this man’s or his party’s objective. He is committed to race baiting and pandering to the bigoted minds of his supporters. Speaking of which, Rush Limbaugh weighed in immediately saying the Republican candidate was booed “simply because Romney’s white”. Yeah Rush it couldn't possibly have been his rhetoric. 

The only way that Republicans can continue to win elections in this country is to demonize and vilify the poor, minorities, gays, women and those that acknowledge the existence of science. They have managed to convince middle class and poor whites to vote against their own best interests by plugging in to their irrational “fear of a Black planet”. In addition, the Republicans insistence of denying voting rights for hundreds of thousands of Americans, if it continues, will allow them to "win" more elections. Just ask any minority voter in Florida or Texas whose registrations have been purged from the records.

A Ride Or Die Chick

Just one question, is George Zimmerman the stupidest criminal ever? Really, he should be on that TV show The Worlds Dumbest Criminals. What kind of an idiot has incriminating conversations on a jailhouse phone with their spouse? I don’t know if you’ve heard but there are taped conversations of this boob and his wife implicating themselves as perjurers. You don’t need a degree in Prisonology to know that the man is always listening Georgie. Yet there they were all plan hatching, gangsterish and sneaky acting, like they were the only ones in the room. Come on man have you never seen The Untouchables? Just in case you haven’t had time to catch up on their conversations, let me quickly summarize.

Using brilliant unbreakable code obviously inspired by Daffy Duck’s Escape from Alcatraz, Tricky McShifty Pants tells his wife how to transfer money from the pay pal account set up on line for his defense fund into her personal account. Of course no one would be able to break their methodical code and ascertain that $100 was actually code for $100,000 or that $8 was $8,000…brilliant I tell ya BRILLIANT! She tells him all their personal bills have been paid from the funds including Sam’s Club & Wal-Mart (classy) and they are debt free…woo hoo! She says she was even able to pay off her school debts. Zimmerman instructs her to buy bullet proof vests for them for his release…wait that’s actually a good idea considering all those he’s pissed off. P-Zimmy and his ride or die chick then discuss whether they should rent one or two window tinted  SUV’s once he’s released from jail, cause they got all this money and are like you know, ballin’. He laughs that it really doesn’t matter as he has his hoodie as camouflage, and I have to stop for a minute because that is really so offensive. This man has obviously read all the news reports and knows of the protests and the symbolic value of the hoodie Trayvon Martin wore the night of his death, yet he makes tasteless jokes about it. Even in what they perceived as a private conversation, that’s just disgusting. Anyway, she next brags to him of how their website is raising so much money the site keeps crashing.

So what’s wrong with any of this you say and where does the perjury come into play? What’s the big deal, who cares if she wants to play Lil’ Kim to his Biggie Smalls, a dime store gangster moll to his Al Capone. Well a couple of days later Shady Lady Zimmerman stood in front of a judge for her husband’s bail hearing and told him that they had no money, destitute, penniless, living on borrowed time, broke ass broke. She said she had no idea how much money had been raised in his defense fund and was fearful they would not be able to pay their bills. She boo-hooed and blubbered about how they had limited funds because she was in school full time and Zimmerman wasn’t working, which actually explains why he had so much time for neighborhood stalking and murdering. When the judge recently learned of the balance of the defense fund and heard the tapes of the conversations, faster than you can say liar, liar pants on fire, he revoked Zimmerman’s get out of jail free card (because really a $150,000 bond for murder is kind of free) and sent both their asses to the pokey…I assume they allowed time to extinguish her pants. You should see her what the f*** just happened mug shot, the woman looks like an ugly crier to me. You know the kind of person who cries and their face becomes distorted like they just got hit with an ugly stick. Seriously, neither of these two people is attractive. They look like they were spawned from the same alien egg. I’m not so sure they should be procreating.

So what’s the moral of our story folks? Zimmerman is now a proven liar and a thief and what little if any credibility he had has now been compromised. He took the money his supporters donated spent it and he and his wife lied about it. But I'm sure he would never lie about what happened on the night in question just to make it look like he was defending his life, now would he. Anybody want to contribute to his wife’s defense fund?

Wait A Minute, This Ain’t The Ritz

Conrad Murray, you remember him Michael Jackson's killer, anyway he claims life in jail is not the bowl of cherries he was promised. He’s pleading to be released from Los Angeles County jail claiming he is only getting fresh air once a month and a new change of underwear once a week to which I say, who the hell gave him underwear. He says he’s only seen the sunshine once in the last four weeks which, is still double that of Michael Jackson and that he finds the food disagreeable. Seriously, where did he think he was going for four years, an all-inclusive 5-Star Club Med resort? The arrogance of this man, he’s doing time for murder yet feels he’s entitled to maid and laundry service. I’m surprised he didn’t request a manicure and a facial. Los Angeles county jail officials say his activities are restricted because "We're afraid somebody's going to pop him"…no shit. He’s asked to be transferred from county lock-up to a state prison facility. This man obviously does not reside in the same world as the rest of us. I guess on his planet state prison affords a safer environment and is more welcoming to his needs and desires than a county facility? Idiot.

Mr. Murray also says his time behind bars is taking a physical toll on his body. Sounds like the perfect time to develop a workout plan and tone up that prison physique to me. Lift some weights buddy, do some damn sit-ups, jog in place, how about some jumping jacks. Did he not go through the President’s Physical Fitness Plan in elementary school like the rest of us? The man had the nerve to tell his attorney "I may not make it out of here alive. This is a very dangerous place. I'm in here dying. The system is intent on killing me."…I can’t even think of anything funnier to add to that one, it stands on its own. Ironically he says he’s having trouble sleeping and has developed headaches which he fears may be sign of a brain tumor. How about we get him something strong in the form of anesthesia to help him sleep. Something like, oh I don’t know maybe propofol? And I’m not so sure he should be self-diagnosing, didn’t work out so well for his last patient. But I’m not surprised, he gave himself the title of Anesthesiologist to treat Michael Jackson, why not make himself a Neurologist as well. Really, my head hurts, I need new undies, I got a hangnail, oh boo hoo you’re in jail fool quit whining, you’re lucky your ass don’t hurt.

Seriously though, Murray refused to call 911 when Michael Jackson lay dying in his bed until it was too late and instead performed fake ass CPR on him. He was responsible for the death of this man and as of this date has shown absolutely no remorse. This narcissist is desperate to stay in the spotlight and hold on to his 15 minutes of fame and California law does not allow you to profit from your crimes so he can’t write that bestseller. So what does he do instead? He’s complaining that he’s not getting proper medical treatment and if he doesn’t get help quickly he could die as a result. Really Mr. Murray? Sounds kind of familiar…Karma’s a bitch ain’t it.

An Appreciation of Summer

Donna Summer died this morning at 63 years old due to complications from cancer. I’ve always been a fan of pretty much all types of music. Jazz, R&B, Rock & Roll, Pop you name it I can find something I like about it. Most people who know me are aware that I was a big fan of Disco Music. In fact when Greg, Brandol and I were roommates they famously hid my copy of the soundtrack to Saturday Night Fever because they couldn’t bear to hear one more note from the Bee Gees…ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive. Brass Construction, BT Express, Chic and Barry White, I loved all of it. I took a lot of heat for it but Disco paved the way for House Music which to me is one of the most underrated genres of music. Still I wasn’t initially a big fan of Donna Summer and contrary to popular belief it was Greg and not me who bought that first album of hers and introduced us all to the 17 minute opus Love to Love You Baby and it was Tanya who was in love with Last Dance. Up until this point I had always found her music a bit monotonous and repetitive, however around the time of Hot Stuff and Bad Girls my opinion began to change.

Not coincidently this was around the time I first began examining my sexual identity and going out to dance clubs. I can remember on Saturday nights at this club in Long Beach there was a competition to see whether they would play Hot Stuff or Diana Ross’ The Boss as the last song. (Anyone who knows me is sure how I voted.) Still there was something about her music that drew me to her. It was a difficult time for me, I was alone and didn’t know anyone in these clubs and for someone grappling with freshly realized emotions the freedom she expressed in her songs was refreshing. I’ve always been as equally fascinated with the lyrics as much as the music of a song, “looking for a lover who needs another, don't want another night on my own” and “someone found a letter you wrote me on the radio” or “dim all the lights sweet darling, ’cause tonight it's all the way, turn up the old Victrola, gonna dance the night away"…classics. By the time she recorded “No More Tears” with Barbra Streisand, I was hooked.

In the mid-eighties I attended one of her concerts at the Hollywood Bowl with a group of friends. I was amazed at how much more powerful her voice was in person. In fact some may be surprised to learn of Donna Summer’s connection to gospel music as she never really gained a large African-American following. We partied hard but at the time it was more of a nostalgic event because in spite of her hit “She Works Hard for the Money” her heyday had long since passed and Disco had died years earlier. But the memories it brought back were fulfilling and uplifting, not unlike the emotions I felt this morning upon hearing of her passing.

So we’ve lost yet another fantastic talent and icon and although it makes me feel older, I can’t help but embrace the moment as it takes me back to a lively and energetic period in my life. Thanks Ms. Summer, thanks for all the songs and thanks for the memories.

Evolution

I sat down to write today and because this subject is so close to my heart, twice I was so overcome with emotion that I had to get up and walk away. I want to first say that unless you are a gay person you will never ever know what it feels like to be gay. I don’t care how many gay friends, siblings, cousins or even parents you have. I don’t care if you consider yourself accepting of gay people, sympathize with gay people or even fight for gay rights. YOU WILL NEVER EVER KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE GAY.

Yesterday President Obama announced that his evolution is complete and he now believes that gay couples should be allowed to marry and should be afforded the same rights as straight couples. Ignoring the fact that I believe the President always felt this way but because of political concerns he could not state it, this was a welcome announcement. If nothing else it should spark a debate among African-Americans regarding the inclusion of gays in civil rights issues. And don’t tell me gay rights are not the same as civil rights. Anytime one person gets treated better than another person, it's an issue of civil rights. Bigotry is still bigotry, whether it's racial or sexual preference, it’s just that simple. More importantly the President’s statement brings the issue of gay marriage front & center in our community. Last summer I was included when the pastor of my church met with 10 gay men to discuss the inclusion and acknowledgment of gays in our church. It was an informative and inspiring meeting and I was able to see my pastor in a different light. I was encouraged by his rhetoric and his non-judgmental and accepting attitude. But the thing that struck me most was his statement regarding gay marriage. He said “When gay marriage becomes legal in California, parishioners may begin to realize that just because you’re gay doesn’t mean you’re not spiritual as well.” Wow! “When gay marriage becomes legal” not if…so encouraging.

Unfortunately not all church clergy are as forward thinking as my pastor and I’m sure there will be a backlash for the President which must be addressed and this is where it gets personal for me. The fact is religion has absolutely no place in the discussion on same sex marriage. (Let that simmer for a minute) You are legally married ONLY when you possess a valid marriage license from the government. You can have a dozen weddings in a dozen churches and you still won't be legally married until the GOVERNMENT says you are. The government is in the marriage business, religion is only in the wedding business in fact you can get married without ever stepping into a house of worship. Only the government can grant, enforce or dissolve marriages. When a couple is wed in a house of worship the officiate may be performing a religious rite but as far as the law is concerned, that officiate has been authorized to perform a civil function, plain and simple. And even were same-sex marriage to be legalized by the state, no one would be holding a gun to the heads of the clergy to require them to perform a ceremony that their faith or personal creed does not condone. Just as some rabbis would not perform marriage to a man or woman who wasn’t Jewish, clergy can decline performing same-sex marriages. Gay couples can either find clergy willing to officiate or can be wed in a civil setting.

The idea that conservative and religious leaders are continuing to shape state and federal law based on religious beliefs is just wrong. I don’t care what your personal beliefs are regarding gay people, the institution of marriage should be available to all. The concept of having a life-long partner and not be able to make decisions for them in a hospital, not share in insurance benefits, not automatically have parental rights unless you are the birth parent and not be allowed to claim them as a dependent for tax purposes or partake in the more than 1,049 federal rights, benefits and privileges provided for married couples is just flat-out wrong. I’m sick of it and I’m sick of the one sided discussion in our Black churches and how homosexuality is singled out as a sin from the bible. If we followed the letter of the bible as a whole we would still have slaves and slave owners would be able to procreate with their slaves as Abraham, a polygamist, did in Genesis. The idea of focusing on the letter of the text rather than the spirit intended has got to stop. Wouldn’t it be great if instead we focused on the major themes of love, justice, freedom, equality and inclusion that run throughout the Bible? Unfortunately, until the practice of worshiping the Bible rather than worshiping God is abandoned we will not move forward.

It is my hope that the African-American community will become as evolved as our President and again I am encouraged by the attitude of my pastor and hopefully he will be able to influence his fellow clergymen but the discussion needs to begin now. People have got to get away from thinking of homosexuality in terms of the sexual act. Straight people generally seem to think that if a person is gay, sex is the only thing on his or her mind an idea influenced and reinforced by negative stereotypes in entertainment and the media. I truly believe the day will come when people will look back at these times in amazement at how ridiculously and petty we lived our lives and the silly things we found objectionable.

American Whiner

I’ve been a fan of talent competitions as far back as Star Search and even before that with the Spring Concert at Ravenswood High (shout out to Captain Crunch & the Soul Bunch). It didn’t matter if it was singing, dancing or acting, I loved it all. But it was the talent I enjoyed not the so called story behind the performer. We didn’t fall in love with Stevie Wonder because he was blind we fell in love with him because he aspired to showcase his many talents in spite of it. Lately I’ve noticed that these talent shows, The Voice, American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance etc. all want to play on our emotions. It started several seasons ago on American Idol with the guy, his name I’ve thankfully blocked from memory, whose fiancé had died. At first I was like everyone else, “Oh how sad”. But then every time he would sing they would run a montage to show how lonely and pathetic his life had become since she had died and how he was struggling to continue. They would show it over and over every damn week until it got to the point of being intrusive and I felt like, sorry for your loss buddy but you know Sam Cooke was born by the river in a little tent (that’s right a damn tent) and he didn’t sit on the river bank crying…enough already! What about the talent? It’s not So You Think You Can Make Me Cry, quit whining and sing.

Last year on the X Factor they had this white guy who was a recovering drug addict and he definitely looked the part. Seriously, dude looked like the poster child for crack heads. I’m not saying I didn’t feel for the guy but where was the talent? Your tragic life is not going to make me like you more, especially if you can’t sing. When he sang (I guess that’s what you call that scatter walling) my ears would bleed a little and pop like I had just landed from being airborne for six hours. He would then have the nerve to stand there triumphantly waiting for applause like he was Pavarotti, Domingo or that other guy from The Three Tenors. Honestly, he couldn’t hold a note if you spotted him a bucket…and not to be picky but he was sorely in need of a dental plan. Even though we knew Fantasia was a struggling single mother and high school dropout, it wasn’t the primary focus. In fact the producer’s didn’t even want us to know about it. She didn’t offer up some B story plot line from One Life To Live to win, the girl could sing and that’s why she succeeded.

This year on The Voice we get the same loser character from last year’s X Factor, only this time he’s mixed race, peppy and cleaned up…but just as irritating and a little too happy for my taste. He and his stupid hats and those way too skinny jeans have got to go. Oh and by the way, I’m happy you’re clean and sober but I don’t want to know what you did to feed your drug habit when you were strung out…way too much information. Even when they can sing the producers feel the need to play up some sob story. Maybe Jesse Campbell, who really could sing, would still be there if he had just sung instead of playing on our sympathy with the heart tugging story about him and his daughter living in his car. Which if it’s true, someone needs to have a conversation with the pastor at my church where Jesse is a regularly featured soloist. Seriously, living in his car? What happened to charity in the church? (Remind me to go back to that subject another time.)

Any hoo, where was I? Oh yeah no talent cry baby, look at me I fell down, sniveling can’t sing so I’ll make you cry victims performers. These shows need to take a cue from Live at the Apollo where if you can’t sing or dance your ass is booed the hell outta there. Instead of judging on votes received they should have the Sandman tap dance in and shuffle their sobbing asses off and directly into the cast of the next Lifetime movie…and bring in some real singers damn it!

Who The Hell Is Hoolia?

So after three months out of work I finally rejoined the workforce about two months ago. I gotta say when I tell people I was out of work for three months and they say, “Oh, well that’s not really a lot time to be off” it really bugs me. Three months of worrying how you’re going to pay your mortgage, car note, various credit cards, medical insurance (which ain’t cheap) food, telephone and gas & electricity is a very long time. In fact if I had not had the vacation and personal time saved, which my last employer had to pay me, I may not have survived. I really don’t understand how anyone lives off of unemployment. Even if you receive the maximum benefit, it’s not that much.

It goes without saying that things have changed a lot in the last 30 years or so since I first entered the work force. To begin with everything involved in your job search is now done online. No more perusing through the classifieds and calling up the HR Director to make an appointment…they won’t take your calls. No, instead you submit your resume through an ad online and if you’re lucky you may make direct contact with an employer. Otherwise you must shuffle through the countless ads from recruiting agencies (back in the day we called them Headhunters) and submit to a series of insulting interviews where they ask you those fresh out of college questions like where do you see yourself in five years or what kind of job are you looking for…how about one that pays and will keep me employed for the next five years dumb ass. Unless you fit the profile of exactly what they are looking for at that moment, you won’t hear back from them. Persistence is the key. You have to call constantly so that your name is embedded in their minds and they either find you a job or stop taking your calls…I ended up leaving a lot of voice messages. Somehow I got lucky and answered an ad that got me directly to the employer. After a series of interviews I landed the position of Controller, which is a step up in both position and salary…woo hoo!!

I remember when I first became a manager, at the time my goal was to make the company I worked for as Black as possible. By that I mean my goal was to hire and promote as many qualified African-American candidates as I could. This was to be my contribution to the cause. But a funny thing has happened in those thirty years, the work landscape has changed dramatically. I began noticing a shift about ten years ago where the office workforce was becoming more & more Latino to the point where now every one of my subordinates in my new position are Latino. Even the service tech who comes in to do maintenance on the copiers is Latino. My assistant, who is Native American, and I are the only non-Spanish speaking two in the entire finance department of nine and these folks are not shy about slipping into Spanish in the middle of a conversation. Seriously, why the need for so much Spanish? Are you talking about me and if not what are you saying that you don’t want me to know? I worked here for over a month and listened to everyone refer to someone named Hoolia in inventory control while thinking to myself who the hell is this person. Finally I received an email from Julia the warehouse supervisor and realized I had spoken to her on almost a daily basis.

So what happened to the up and coming African-American office pool? Has our contribution to the number of college graduates decreased or has that of the Latino population increased? And let me be clear I’m not putting down Latinos, more power to them and I don’t want to get into a debate about the weight placed on our economy due to the influx of illegal immigrants. I’m just questioning the obvious absence of young African-Americans in the workforce. Has anyone else noticed this trend or is this maybe a California thing. Oh and does anybody know where can I get my hands on a fresh copy of Rosetta Stone for Spanish?

Mixed Emotions

I’ve got mixed emotions. I want to be happy that George Zimmerman has been arrested for the murder of Trayvon Martin but I have way too many emotions running through me to take time to celebrate. I worry that in spite of the arrest, justice still will not be served. I worry that disregarding all of the evidence, 911 calls and eye witness statements some crazy jury will side with Zimmerman and buy into his whole ridiculous self-defense argument. I worry because we still live in a world where the life of a teenage Black kid is devalued to the point that he is profiled, pursued and murdered simply because he wanted skittles and a soft drink.

I feel for the parents and I mourn their loss. This could have been any one of our children. I feel their hurt when the conservative media labels their beloved child as a thug or a hoodlum. I worry that some profiling Zimmerman is lurking around the corner waiting to stalk and kill one of my grandsons. I fear for their safety in a world that assumes a Black kid wearing a hood in the rain poses some sort of threat. I worry that when they perceive someone is following they may panic and run only to be hunted down and murdered like some wild animal…I worry that it will then be classified as justifiable homicide. Meanwhile two White men were arrested over the Easter weekend for a shooting spree that left three people dead and terrorized the Tulsa, Oklahoma Black community.

I’m angry at all of the Talk Show Pundits, Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, Right Wing whackos and Conservative bigoted politicians who claim racism is no longer alive simply because we have a Black president. I’m angry at all those who say we choose to see racism where it doesn’t exist or we victimize ourselves when we point out that it does. I’m sick of those who say we should just get over it, I mean after all they weren’t slave owners their ancestors were. And I’m confused by those who point out that because Zimmerman has a Hispanic mother that he couldn’t possibly be a racist, as if he has not been affected by the residue of hundreds of years of racist and bias legality and stereotypical and negative portrayals of African-Americans in movies and television. I’m pissed at all the angry White people who call it reverse racism when we seek justice through affirmative action programs or start businesses to target our own community.

Finally, I’m tired of those who say political correctness has restricted their right to free speech. I’m tired of the moral Commentators who spout bigoted theories absent of logic and incite racist behavior and of southern governors with ranch names like Niggerhead. Or those who believe the right to free speech allows them to call me a nigger or any derogatory term they can think of if they want to. Well you have the right to call me a nigger, a coon or even a jungle bunny but guess what, I also have the right to kick your dumb ass if you do…it may help me with some of the anger and mixed emotions I’ve been struggling with.

Please take a moment and click on the link below to read the Affidavit of charges against George Zimmerman filed by the Florida State Attorney. This man absolutely stalked and murdered Trayvon Martin.

http://www.cbsnews.com/htdocs/pdf/Zimmerman_Probable_Cause_Document.pdf

Optimistic

Well they got me. Last Wednesday my boss walked into my office looking like he had just been forced to sit through a 12 hour looped marathon of Herman Cain performing gospel favorites. Seriously, the man does gospel! Check it out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZe75JSXhyU . What a clown, he’s got a whole album worth. Anyway he starts by saying, “Warren we need to talk.” Now I don’t know about you but I’ve never had someone start off a conversation with “we need to talk” and give me good news. It’s not like he was gonna say “we need to talk, you just won 12 million dollars”…hasn’t happened to me yet. So according to him we needed to talk but really I was just listening. He told me that he had fought for me but in order to cut costs the company felt they needed to eliminate my position…as of Friday…two days away. I still didn’t feel the need to talk. Well that’s not exactly true, I could have talked but it would not have been pretty and anyway there’s that whole bridge burning thing to contend with. Unemployed? Yes, but with excellent references. You know I really should have seen it coming. Company sales are drastically down from last year and they’ve already had a round of lay-offs and there was that whole thing last year with them and their mandatory work furloughs.

So now I find myself a living statistic, I’ve joined the ranks of the unemployed. Yes sir a living breathing member of the California 12% club or 16% if you’re African-American. You know one of those people that conservative politicians like Herman Cain claim, “if they are out of works it’s their own fault.” Despite fighting charges of sexual harassment this buffoon still has time to make idiotic statements. But yeah that’s me, unemployed because I want to be. Living the life of Riley, on the government dime, sitting on my ass…no worries. Because they’ll be paying my mortgage and car note, my credit card bills, student loans and health insurance…right? Yeah I’m satisfied Herman, being out of work and just waiting for all those millions to roll in from unemployment. Unemployed due to my own fault! Wow. Funny, I thought it was the fault of a sagging U.S. economy and Republican politicians refusing to pass President Obama’s jobs bill. I thought it was the eight years Bush spent tearing down our financial system and spending trillions of dollars on manufactured wars instead of focusing on jobs…but maybe that’s just me.

But rather than worry about how I’m going to find money to pay taxes next year on the unemployment benefits I receive this year, I plan to focus on the positive. Thankful that the company had to pay me for the accrued vacation and personal time I had managed to hold on to, which serves as severance because they certainly weren’t offering any. Thankful that someone anonymously pointed out to them that you cannot make exempt employees use their accrued time to pay for company enforced job furloughs simply because you decide you have no work for them…ok it was me. You’d be surprised what you can get from a simple Google search. Thankful that I didn’t fall for their request to convert that accrued time to their worthless company stock. Seriously, .70 cents a share? So I refuse to be down, one door closes and another opens. I’ll just keep on trucking, head to the sky, ain’t no stopping us now (feel free to insert your own applicable R&B titles here) I know a change is gonna come, I’ve got a new attitude, boogie nights (okay that last one was just cause I feel like dancing) ultimately, down but not out…optimistic. Who knows what the future holds…right?

Never Trust A Big Butt And A Smile

I hate Kim Kardashian. I’ve never met the woman and I hate her. I hate her because I know so much about her life even though I don’t want to. I hate her because I can correctly spell her name without first checking. I hate her sisters, her mother and I even hate Bruce Jenner who married her mom and has a face lift that looks straight out of Frankenstein (really, it’s frightening)…I hate them all. This woman who made herself a household name based on a big ass and a "leaked" sex tape was paid over 18 million dollars for a televised wedding extravaganza that I frankly never cared about and thankfully didn’t see. 18 million dollars and it only lasted 72 days. That’s $250,000 a day folks…I hate her.

I hate the fact that this reality show whore star was able to fool so many into believing this was a real marriage to begin with. The divorce news came via Ryan Seacrest who just happens to be executive producer of her reality show and now rumor says that it was an arrangement to boost ratings for the show and that her now former husband, old what’s his name, wasn’t even her first choice to play the role. Apparently he was caught off guard as when he heard the news he stated, "I love my wife and am devastated to learn she filed for divorce... I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make it work." Huh? Kris didn’t you read your contract? 72 days buddy, 72 days. But don’t feel bad for him as per his prenuptial agreement I’m sure he stands to earn a substantial payday and with him being an unemployed free-agent for the seemingly missing in action NBA, I’m sure it helps.

Today Mama Kardashian, Kris (did I mention I hate her?) went on the offensive denying rumors of a nefariously plotted, ratings boosting publicity stunt. Stating, “It’s just a horrible, horrible situation. I feel bad for the kids.” Yeah right those poor kids cause you know they're like all sad and stuff and by the way she has new book out today, available on amazon.com. Meanwhile, Big Booty’s sister also went on the attack. Khole, you know the one who married Los Angeles Lakers Lamar Odom after knowing him for like an afternoon, well she said, “Hate is disgusting, love is everything.” WTF!! What the hell does that even mean? Intelligence obviously does not run deep in this family. I mean they were spawned from a mother who thought it would be really kool and krazy to give all the girls first names beginning with the letter K.

Anyway, so much for the sanctity of marriage and sacred unions. So much for those who actually value the union and are denied the right versus those who take it for granted. These two should be refused a divorce and forced to reconcile and continue. Wait, that could be part two for the reality show, “Kim and Kris, Working It Out”. At any rate I guess this is what gargantuan breasts and a sex tape can get you. Reality show stardom, unlimited wealth and resources, endorsement deals and a Royal friggin’ wedding. Speaking of which, what about all those gifts? It’s only been 72 days, I know I’d want my toaster back so I could return it.