Wait A Minute, This Ain’t The Ritz

Conrad Murray, you remember him Michael Jackson's killer, anyway he claims life in jail is not the bowl of cherries he was promised. He’s pleading to be released from Los Angeles County jail claiming he is only getting fresh air once a month and a new change of underwear once a week to which I say, who the hell gave him underwear. He says he’s only seen the sunshine once in the last four weeks which, is still double that of Michael Jackson and that he finds the food disagreeable. Seriously, where did he think he was going for four years, an all-inclusive 5-Star Club Med resort? The arrogance of this man, he’s doing time for murder yet feels he’s entitled to maid and laundry service. I’m surprised he didn’t request a manicure and a facial. Los Angeles county jail officials say his activities are restricted because "We're afraid somebody's going to pop him"…no shit. He’s asked to be transferred from county lock-up to a state prison facility. This man obviously does not reside in the same world as the rest of us. I guess on his planet state prison affords a safer environment and is more welcoming to his needs and desires than a county facility? Idiot.

Mr. Murray also says his time behind bars is taking a physical toll on his body. Sounds like the perfect time to develop a workout plan and tone up that prison physique to me. Lift some weights buddy, do some damn sit-ups, jog in place, how about some jumping jacks. Did he not go through the President’s Physical Fitness Plan in elementary school like the rest of us? The man had the nerve to tell his attorney "I may not make it out of here alive. This is a very dangerous place. I'm in here dying. The system is intent on killing me."…I can’t even think of anything funnier to add to that one, it stands on its own. Ironically he says he’s having trouble sleeping and has developed headaches which he fears may be sign of a brain tumor. How about we get him something strong in the form of anesthesia to help him sleep. Something like, oh I don’t know maybe propofol? And I’m not so sure he should be self-diagnosing, didn’t work out so well for his last patient. But I’m not surprised, he gave himself the title of Anesthesiologist to treat Michael Jackson, why not make himself a Neurologist as well. Really, my head hurts, I need new undies, I got a hangnail, oh boo hoo you’re in jail fool quit whining, you’re lucky your ass don’t hurt.

Seriously though, Murray refused to call 911 when Michael Jackson lay dying in his bed until it was too late and instead performed fake ass CPR on him. He was responsible for the death of this man and as of this date has shown absolutely no remorse. This narcissist is desperate to stay in the spotlight and hold on to his 15 minutes of fame and California law does not allow you to profit from your crimes so he can’t write that bestseller. So what does he do instead? He’s complaining that he’s not getting proper medical treatment and if he doesn’t get help quickly he could die as a result. Really Mr. Murray? Sounds kind of familiar…Karma’s a bitch ain’t it.