American Whiner

I’ve been a fan of talent competitions as far back as Star Search and even before that with the Spring Concert at Ravenswood High (shout out to Captain Crunch & the Soul Bunch). It didn’t matter if it was singing, dancing or acting, I loved it all. But it was the talent I enjoyed not the so called story behind the performer. We didn’t fall in love with Stevie Wonder because he was blind we fell in love with him because he aspired to showcase his many talents in spite of it. Lately I’ve noticed that these talent shows, The Voice, American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance etc. all want to play on our emotions. It started several seasons ago on American Idol with the guy, his name I’ve thankfully blocked from memory, whose fiancé had died. At first I was like everyone else, “Oh how sad”. But then every time he would sing they would run a montage to show how lonely and pathetic his life had become since she had died and how he was struggling to continue. They would show it over and over every damn week until it got to the point of being intrusive and I felt like, sorry for your loss buddy but you know Sam Cooke was born by the river in a little tent (that’s right a damn tent) and he didn’t sit on the river bank crying…enough already! What about the talent? It’s not So You Think You Can Make Me Cry, quit whining and sing.

Last year on the X Factor they had this white guy who was a recovering drug addict and he definitely looked the part. Seriously, dude looked like the poster child for crack heads. I’m not saying I didn’t feel for the guy but where was the talent? Your tragic life is not going to make me like you more, especially if you can’t sing. When he sang (I guess that’s what you call that scatter walling) my ears would bleed a little and pop like I had just landed from being airborne for six hours. He would then have the nerve to stand there triumphantly waiting for applause like he was Pavarotti, Domingo or that other guy from The Three Tenors. Honestly, he couldn’t hold a note if you spotted him a bucket…and not to be picky but he was sorely in need of a dental plan. Even though we knew Fantasia was a struggling single mother and high school dropout, it wasn’t the primary focus. In fact the producer’s didn’t even want us to know about it. She didn’t offer up some B story plot line from One Life To Live to win, the girl could sing and that’s why she succeeded.

This year on The Voice we get the same loser character from last year’s X Factor, only this time he’s mixed race, peppy and cleaned up…but just as irritating and a little too happy for my taste. He and his stupid hats and those way too skinny jeans have got to go. Oh and by the way, I’m happy you’re clean and sober but I don’t want to know what you did to feed your drug habit when you were strung out…way too much information. Even when they can sing the producers feel the need to play up some sob story. Maybe Jesse Campbell, who really could sing, would still be there if he had just sung instead of playing on our sympathy with the heart tugging story about him and his daughter living in his car. Which if it’s true, someone needs to have a conversation with the pastor at my church where Jesse is a regularly featured soloist. Seriously, living in his car? What happened to charity in the church? (Remind me to go back to that subject another time.)

Any hoo, where was I? Oh yeah no talent cry baby, look at me I fell down, sniveling can’t sing so I’ll make you cry victims performers. These shows need to take a cue from Live at the Apollo where if you can’t sing or dance your ass is booed the hell outta there. Instead of judging on votes received they should have the Sandman tap dance in and shuffle their sobbing asses off and directly into the cast of the next Lifetime movie…and bring in some real singers damn it!

Who The Hell Is Hoolia?

So after three months out of work I finally rejoined the workforce about two months ago. I gotta say when I tell people I was out of work for three months and they say, “Oh, well that’s not really a lot time to be off” it really bugs me. Three months of worrying how you’re going to pay your mortgage, car note, various credit cards, medical insurance (which ain’t cheap) food, telephone and gas & electricity is a very long time. In fact if I had not had the vacation and personal time saved, which my last employer had to pay me, I may not have survived. I really don’t understand how anyone lives off of unemployment. Even if you receive the maximum benefit, it’s not that much.

It goes without saying that things have changed a lot in the last 30 years or so since I first entered the work force. To begin with everything involved in your job search is now done online. No more perusing through the classifieds and calling up the HR Director to make an appointment…they won’t take your calls. No, instead you submit your resume through an ad online and if you’re lucky you may make direct contact with an employer. Otherwise you must shuffle through the countless ads from recruiting agencies (back in the day we called them Headhunters) and submit to a series of insulting interviews where they ask you those fresh out of college questions like where do you see yourself in five years or what kind of job are you looking for…how about one that pays and will keep me employed for the next five years dumb ass. Unless you fit the profile of exactly what they are looking for at that moment, you won’t hear back from them. Persistence is the key. You have to call constantly so that your name is embedded in their minds and they either find you a job or stop taking your calls…I ended up leaving a lot of voice messages. Somehow I got lucky and answered an ad that got me directly to the employer. After a series of interviews I landed the position of Controller, which is a step up in both position and salary…woo hoo!!

I remember when I first became a manager, at the time my goal was to make the company I worked for as Black as possible. By that I mean my goal was to hire and promote as many qualified African-American candidates as I could. This was to be my contribution to the cause. But a funny thing has happened in those thirty years, the work landscape has changed dramatically. I began noticing a shift about ten years ago where the office workforce was becoming more & more Latino to the point where now every one of my subordinates in my new position are Latino. Even the service tech who comes in to do maintenance on the copiers is Latino. My assistant, who is Native American, and I are the only non-Spanish speaking two in the entire finance department of nine and these folks are not shy about slipping into Spanish in the middle of a conversation. Seriously, why the need for so much Spanish? Are you talking about me and if not what are you saying that you don’t want me to know? I worked here for over a month and listened to everyone refer to someone named Hoolia in inventory control while thinking to myself who the hell is this person. Finally I received an email from Julia the warehouse supervisor and realized I had spoken to her on almost a daily basis.

So what happened to the up and coming African-American office pool? Has our contribution to the number of college graduates decreased or has that of the Latino population increased? And let me be clear I’m not putting down Latinos, more power to them and I don’t want to get into a debate about the weight placed on our economy due to the influx of illegal immigrants. I’m just questioning the obvious absence of young African-Americans in the workforce. Has anyone else noticed this trend or is this maybe a California thing. Oh and does anybody know where can I get my hands on a fresh copy of Rosetta Stone for Spanish?

Mixed Emotions

I’ve got mixed emotions. I want to be happy that George Zimmerman has been arrested for the murder of Trayvon Martin but I have way too many emotions running through me to take time to celebrate. I worry that in spite of the arrest, justice still will not be served. I worry that disregarding all of the evidence, 911 calls and eye witness statements some crazy jury will side with Zimmerman and buy into his whole ridiculous self-defense argument. I worry because we still live in a world where the life of a teenage Black kid is devalued to the point that he is profiled, pursued and murdered simply because he wanted skittles and a soft drink.

I feel for the parents and I mourn their loss. This could have been any one of our children. I feel their hurt when the conservative media labels their beloved child as a thug or a hoodlum. I worry that some profiling Zimmerman is lurking around the corner waiting to stalk and kill one of my grandsons. I fear for their safety in a world that assumes a Black kid wearing a hood in the rain poses some sort of threat. I worry that when they perceive someone is following they may panic and run only to be hunted down and murdered like some wild animal…I worry that it will then be classified as justifiable homicide. Meanwhile two White men were arrested over the Easter weekend for a shooting spree that left three people dead and terrorized the Tulsa, Oklahoma Black community.

I’m angry at all of the Talk Show Pundits, Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, Right Wing whackos and Conservative bigoted politicians who claim racism is no longer alive simply because we have a Black president. I’m angry at all those who say we choose to see racism where it doesn’t exist or we victimize ourselves when we point out that it does. I’m sick of those who say we should just get over it, I mean after all they weren’t slave owners their ancestors were. And I’m confused by those who point out that because Zimmerman has a Hispanic mother that he couldn’t possibly be a racist, as if he has not been affected by the residue of hundreds of years of racist and bias legality and stereotypical and negative portrayals of African-Americans in movies and television. I’m pissed at all the angry White people who call it reverse racism when we seek justice through affirmative action programs or start businesses to target our own community.

Finally, I’m tired of those who say political correctness has restricted their right to free speech. I’m tired of the moral Commentators who spout bigoted theories absent of logic and incite racist behavior and of southern governors with ranch names like Niggerhead. Or those who believe the right to free speech allows them to call me a nigger or any derogatory term they can think of if they want to. Well you have the right to call me a nigger, a coon or even a jungle bunny but guess what, I also have the right to kick your dumb ass if you do…it may help me with some of the anger and mixed emotions I’ve been struggling with.

Please take a moment and click on the link below to read the Affidavit of charges against George Zimmerman filed by the Florida State Attorney. This man absolutely stalked and murdered Trayvon Martin.

http://www.cbsnews.com/htdocs/pdf/Zimmerman_Probable_Cause_Document.pdf

Optimistic

Well they got me. Last Wednesday my boss walked into my office looking like he had just been forced to sit through a 12 hour looped marathon of Herman Cain performing gospel favorites. Seriously, the man does gospel! Check it out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZe75JSXhyU . What a clown, he’s got a whole album worth. Anyway he starts by saying, “Warren we need to talk.” Now I don’t know about you but I’ve never had someone start off a conversation with “we need to talk” and give me good news. It’s not like he was gonna say “we need to talk, you just won 12 million dollars”…hasn’t happened to me yet. So according to him we needed to talk but really I was just listening. He told me that he had fought for me but in order to cut costs the company felt they needed to eliminate my position…as of Friday…two days away. I still didn’t feel the need to talk. Well that’s not exactly true, I could have talked but it would not have been pretty and anyway there’s that whole bridge burning thing to contend with. Unemployed? Yes, but with excellent references. You know I really should have seen it coming. Company sales are drastically down from last year and they’ve already had a round of lay-offs and there was that whole thing last year with them and their mandatory work furloughs.

So now I find myself a living statistic, I’ve joined the ranks of the unemployed. Yes sir a living breathing member of the California 12% club or 16% if you’re African-American. You know one of those people that conservative politicians like Herman Cain claim, “if they are out of works it’s their own fault.” Despite fighting charges of sexual harassment this buffoon still has time to make idiotic statements. But yeah that’s me, unemployed because I want to be. Living the life of Riley, on the government dime, sitting on my ass…no worries. Because they’ll be paying my mortgage and car note, my credit card bills, student loans and health insurance…right? Yeah I’m satisfied Herman, being out of work and just waiting for all those millions to roll in from unemployment. Unemployed due to my own fault! Wow. Funny, I thought it was the fault of a sagging U.S. economy and Republican politicians refusing to pass President Obama’s jobs bill. I thought it was the eight years Bush spent tearing down our financial system and spending trillions of dollars on manufactured wars instead of focusing on jobs…but maybe that’s just me.

But rather than worry about how I’m going to find money to pay taxes next year on the unemployment benefits I receive this year, I plan to focus on the positive. Thankful that the company had to pay me for the accrued vacation and personal time I had managed to hold on to, which serves as severance because they certainly weren’t offering any. Thankful that someone anonymously pointed out to them that you cannot make exempt employees use their accrued time to pay for company enforced job furloughs simply because you decide you have no work for them…ok it was me. You’d be surprised what you can get from a simple Google search. Thankful that I didn’t fall for their request to convert that accrued time to their worthless company stock. Seriously, .70 cents a share? So I refuse to be down, one door closes and another opens. I’ll just keep on trucking, head to the sky, ain’t no stopping us now (feel free to insert your own applicable R&B titles here) I know a change is gonna come, I’ve got a new attitude, boogie nights (okay that last one was just cause I feel like dancing) ultimately, down but not out…optimistic. Who knows what the future holds…right?

Never Trust A Big Butt And A Smile

I hate Kim Kardashian. I’ve never met the woman and I hate her. I hate her because I know so much about her life even though I don’t want to. I hate her because I can correctly spell her name without first checking. I hate her sisters, her mother and I even hate Bruce Jenner who married her mom and has a face lift that looks straight out of Frankenstein (really, it’s frightening)…I hate them all. This woman who made herself a household name based on a big ass and a "leaked" sex tape was paid over 18 million dollars for a televised wedding extravaganza that I frankly never cared about and thankfully didn’t see. 18 million dollars and it only lasted 72 days. That’s $250,000 a day folks…I hate her.

I hate the fact that this reality show whore star was able to fool so many into believing this was a real marriage to begin with. The divorce news came via Ryan Seacrest who just happens to be executive producer of her reality show and now rumor says that it was an arrangement to boost ratings for the show and that her now former husband, old what’s his name, wasn’t even her first choice to play the role. Apparently he was caught off guard as when he heard the news he stated, "I love my wife and am devastated to learn she filed for divorce... I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make it work." Huh? Kris didn’t you read your contract? 72 days buddy, 72 days. But don’t feel bad for him as per his prenuptial agreement I’m sure he stands to earn a substantial payday and with him being an unemployed free-agent for the seemingly missing in action NBA, I’m sure it helps.

Today Mama Kardashian, Kris (did I mention I hate her?) went on the offensive denying rumors of a nefariously plotted, ratings boosting publicity stunt. Stating, “It’s just a horrible, horrible situation. I feel bad for the kids.” Yeah right those poor kids cause you know they're like all sad and stuff and by the way she has new book out today, available on amazon.com. Meanwhile, Big Booty’s sister also went on the attack. Khole, you know the one who married Los Angeles Lakers Lamar Odom after knowing him for like an afternoon, well she said, “Hate is disgusting, love is everything.” WTF!! What the hell does that even mean? Intelligence obviously does not run deep in this family. I mean they were spawned from a mother who thought it would be really kool and krazy to give all the girls first names beginning with the letter K.

Anyway, so much for the sanctity of marriage and sacred unions. So much for those who actually value the union and are denied the right versus those who take it for granted. These two should be refused a divorce and forced to reconcile and continue. Wait, that could be part two for the reality show, “Kim and Kris, Working It Out”. At any rate I guess this is what gargantuan breasts and a sex tape can get you. Reality show stardom, unlimited wealth and resources, endorsement deals and a Royal friggin’ wedding. Speaking of which, what about all those gifts? It’s only been 72 days, I know I’d want my toaster back so I could return it.

Just A Few Thoughts

Haven’t written in a while, It’s not that I didn’t have anything to say…just didn’t feel like saying it. Sometimes it’s better to focus on the positive. Like my oldest grandson graduating high school and entering college “celebrate good times, come on” or my partner turning 50 and even though it meant I was turning 55, I somehow felt vindicated when he started receiving AARP solicitations (snickers to himself). Sometimes I sit down at the computer intent on writing the great African–American Manifesto and find myself blindly staring at the screen and muttering to myself, “damn what was I going to say?” Come on I’m not alone, you know what I’m talking about. How many times have you boldly marched into a room and then stood there like Sarah Palin caught in headlights wondering what the hell you came in there for…getting old ain’t easy folks. Anywhooo, what was I saying? Oh yeah, haven’t felt much like writing. So here are some random thoughts on the world since last I wrote.

Anybody else notice how much New Jersey Governor Chris Christie and Chaz Bono look alike? By the way Governor Christie has decided not to run for President in 2012. Apparently he needs more time to focus on his brand as nobody outside of New Jersey knows who the hell he is. And what kind of name is Chris Christie anyway? That’s like naming your child Dave David.

Sarah Palin also decided not to toss her antlers into the race thereby robbing me of at least a year’s worth of sarcastic comments and bon mots thrown her way. Oh yeah, seems that Sarah has a thing for Hot Chocolate as it was revealed that in 1987 she had a one night stand with then budding NBA hopeful Glen Rice while working as a sports reporter for a TV station in Alaska. In her kid sister’s dorm room. Where she smoked some weed. And snorted cocaine. Allegedly…so far no denials.

Herman Coon Cain says if you’re broke and don’t have a job it must be your own fault…I’ll just let that one linger. He also decided to insult the intelligence of African-Americans by stating that the reason he has no African-American supporters is because Democrats have brainwashed African-Americans into not seeing conservatism and the Republican Party as viable options…right. No Hermy, it’s because of the bigoted, racist, intolerable and detestable things and policies the Republican Party has stood for…and oh yeah, we just don’t like you.

Kanye West showed up at the Occupy Wall Street demonstration ironically decked out in enough gold to sink the Titanic.

Michael Jackson’s doctor went on trial for murder and thanks to the intensive, intrusive, show us his lifeless naked body on a gurney media coverage, each day I find I care less and less.

The military finally ditched their ridiculous Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy against Gays serving openly and contrary to conservative rhetoric U.S. servicemen did not chuck their uniforms, tie their shirts in a knot, slip into Daisy Dukes and turn the barracks into a nightly West Hollywood Disco Nights Gay Pride float “dance with me in the disco heat”.

Hank Williams Jr. compared President Obama to Hitler, said the President was the enemy and when ESPN decided to drop his song from their Monday Night Football broadcast he said he was misunderstood. He later decided his free speech rights were being trampled on, accused Faux Fox News of setting him up and released a song Bashing both ESPN and Fox News in a pathetic effort to mine the situation and line his pockets.

The Ku Klux Klan held a rally in Washington D.C. only they didn’t have hooded robes or use the N-word and they called it The Value Voters Summit. They also decided that Mitt Romney is not a Christian and that the Mormon faith is a cult…wait what’s wrong with that?

Speaking of racist, bigoted, hateful folks, Texas Governor Rick Perry found himself in a bit of brouhaha when it was revealed that his family’s ranch in Texas was once called Niggerhead Rock. Perry claims his family painted over the sign bearing the name when they purchased the property but maybe next time they should switch to Dutch Boy. According to those in the area, the name Niggerhead Rock is still clearly visible and according to Wallar Overton the son of Governor Perry’s Scoutmaster in his home county of Haskell the property “has always been known by that name” and “it’s just what it was called from day one, that’s just what people call it”. Niggerhead Rock really, I couldn’t even make that up.

Finally, the Congressional Black Caucus (CBC) claimed that President Obama wasn’t doing enough for Black folks to which he replied, stop complaining, get off your asses and get something done your damnselves! This caused Maxine Waters to smack her lips, rotate her head, point her finger and say “I know he ain’t talking to me.” (Actual quote) Seriously while the Tea Party works to dismantle the government and take the country back, Republicans in both houses work to ensure President Obama is a one term president while denying everything he proposes and the economy slips further and further into ruin these Negative Nellie’s feel it’s the appropriate time to bitch and moan to our President for not paying attention to the African-American community. How about his jobs bill, the healthcare plan or the stimulus package? Aren’t these things that affect the African-American community? Tell you what Maxine and the Gang, let President Obama start focusing specifically on African-Americans and be prepared to witness the vitriol unleashed by his critics and opponents. Here’s a better idea, get some bills passed and go out and get some votes for our President.

I really could go on.

Shake Your Groove Thing

Seriously??!!... 5.8?? This is what it takes to send people on the East Coast panicking and running into the streets like Godzilla was attacking? I heard reports of terrified citizens storming out of buildings predicting some type of end of the world Armageddon. Please, here in California we routinely ride a 5.8 earthquake in our sleep. Our pets don’t even wake up. Seriously, you turn to your spouse sleeping next to you and ask, “Refried bean burrito for lunch?” If we evacuated buildings and shut down work for every damn 5.8 that hit we’d never get any work done…wait that’s not such a bad idea. Really, according to news reports tens of thousands of people were evacuated from buildings and schools and roads were closed, which really was a problem as the caravan of trucks carrying Donald Trump’s hairspray were delayed. And you should see the looks on their faces running from buildings looking like they just caught a glimpse of Rosie O’Donnell’s striptease act or something.

For years folks on the east coast have ridiculed us for our earthquakes telling us how they don’t compare to the devastation caused by other natural disasters. You know, all the tornadoes, hurricanes, ice storms, Tammy from the Basketball Wives. But now a little tremor knocks your favorite Rembrandt crooked in your pretentious million dollar 200 square foot high rise apartment and you get all crazy. Meanwhile as these idiots sit under their kitchen tables, we here in California wait for the San Andreas Fault to do the Cupid Shuffle slide us into the Pacific and create an island making us the United State of California, while everyone rushes to buy up property at the newly formed Las Vegas Marina. And now they’re complaining about the small aftershocks of 2.8, like they thought it was over after one jolt. Please, a 2.8 aftershock is like the belch you get from too much Pepsi. I’ve gotten so used to the tremors that when one hits and I’m at work my only concern is to rush home to make sure none of my Cognac has bounced off the shelf.

So as New Yorkers prepare their “I Survived the East Coast Quake of 2011” t-shirts, we here in Southern Cali are preparing for the wild fire season to be followed by mudslides and houses sliding into one another. Included in this will be the one to two inches of our rainy season where drivers lose their minds forget how to signal and slam into each other on the 405 as newscasters warn us of Storm Watch 2011, while wearing shorts and tank tops. So yes we’ll continue to laugh and mock the idiotic reactions of these East Coast wimps, like this nut from the Baltimore Ravens who was filming a promo when the quake hit http://spo¬rts.yahoo.¬com/nfl/bl-og/shutdow¬n_corner/p¬ost/I-get-¬the-feelin¬g-Torrey-S¬mith-isn-8¬217-t-used¬-?urn=nfl-¬wp5755 . Where the hell is he going? What is he thinking, “I’ll just leave the safety of a wide open football field and head for some building that may be falling.” ...dumb ass. Of course our attitudes may change if a freak hurricane ever hits LA but at least that would give our newscasters a real Storm Watch to report on and a reason to pull out all those winter coats we’ve been storing up…and just imagine the 405.

Avoiding the Help

Now don’t get me wrong I’m up for a really nice feel good movie as much as anyone else but when I saw the ads for the latest perky white woman with great intentions, saves the day by teaching oppressed African-Americans that they are beautiful in spite of their conditions, themselves and their surroundings, I thought to myself, this is bull. Yeah I said it. I’m sick of these depictions of the saintly white and usually blonde angel floating in to save the day, ala The Blind Side, for us po African-American folk who can’t do it for ourselves. By the way, I refused to see that one too. Unfortunately, this is not some historical tale of African-American female empowerment during a troubling time in American history. This is not a story of how they overcame their oppressors and triumphed against all odds. Instead what we get is some sanitized fictional version of the African-American experience written and told through the paternalistic eyes of a White person minus all the ugliness and pain endured geared to play into the White liberal guilt of its target audience.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting you don’t see it, films featuring African-American Actors are few and far between. It’s just not a story I care to see again. I’m sure there are great performances and especially from Viola Davis, a well respected two time Tony Award winning and previously Oscar nominated actress. The word is she’ll be nominated again for this role but my question is, why does she have to get nominated for playing a maid. Is this 1939 and Hattie McDaniel? I can’t remember the last time Meryl Streep received an Oscar for playing a maid...oh yeah, it was never. Why is such a well respected and honored actress reduced to playing such a role? This was a time of lynching, rape and murder for African-American men and women if they even looked at White people sideways so why was this role even written as the background for a happy story. Yeah I’m sure there were happy times for African-American folks during this era, I’m just not so sure they came as a result of some fresh from college animated southern White woman from the 1930’s who thought, “them po, po nigras I sho would like to help em”.

There is a story to be told here but I think it’s one about the countless number of white children raised by their African-American Mammies for whom they professed love but grew up to be hateful racists when they came into contact with the general population and the real world. You know kind of like White Republican Senator Strom Thurmond who fathered a child with his family’s African-American maid. The same Senator Thurmond who grew to be one of the most vile and loathsome separate but not equal seeking, Civil Rights Act opposing bigots of the 20th century. May he not rest in peace. But I guess that wouldn’t make anybody feel good.

The Big House

So they finally managed to turn President Obama into just another brother with bad credit, a mortgage he can’t afford and tapped out equity. By consistently blocking the raising of the debt ceiling, the Republicans sought to make him a credit risk in the eyes of voters. In fact the whole debt ceiling crisis was one manufactured by Republicans and if not for them we would not be facing a credit downgrade.A manufactured crisis, because the fact is the debt ceiling has been consistently raised under every presidential administration since Jimmy Carter…and without controversy. Ronald Reagan about tripled the debt limit in 8 years and George W. Bush nearly doubled it.

So why did something as routine as a credit limit increase turn into a national nightmare? Well according to Senate Republican leader Mitch McConnell, “the single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term President” as if that wasn’t already abundantly clear. At least Mr. McConnell is honest in voicing his intentions. What we ended up with is a plan that doesn’t reduce the federal debt by one cent. What it did instead was instill fear into the minds of voters that President Obama may bankrupt the government and more importantly it gives the Republicans an issue to run on in the next election cycle. Apparently for Mr. McConnell and his fellow Republicans a debt downgrade is an acceptable cost of doing politics…no matter the repercussions.

Of course President Obama’s approval ratings are taking an expected decline, except with African-Americans and not surprisingly. From the beginning the attacks on President Obama by the right have been vicious and savagely racists. In my opinion President Obama has the undying support of most African-Americans because we take those attacks personally as he is one of our own. When he is attacked, we all are. This latest crisis only further validates this in the minds of most. It’s not that we can’t be critical of our President, there are things he and his fellow Democrats could have done differently. The least of which, would have been to push through the debt limit increase when the Democrats controlled the house during the President’s first two years of office. The problem is that we can all relate to these bigoted assaults. The empathy we have for President Obama is understood by us and earned legitimately.

Recently, the President celebrated his 50th birthday at the White House with invited guests and performances featuring Stevie Wonder, Ledisi & Herbie Hancock. Included was a DJ who played Classic Motown and 70’s and 80’s R&B and soul music. The next day FOX News ran a headline on their website which read “Obama’s Hip-Hop Event Didn’t Create Jobs”. Included were photos of Chris Rock, Jay Z and Charles Barkley. Nowhere did it mention the many white celebrities, including Tom Hanks and Barbara Streisand, who attended the party. FOX News has also referred to the White House as Hizzhouse, Hizzy and The Big Crib. This is wrong on so many levels that it’s not even worth discussing. Still, it does explain why we feel the way we do about our President.

Contenders

If you had told me in 2006 that a new breed of politician would gain prominence on the national stage that could cause me to look on George W. Bush as a fairly reasonable, senior statesman I would have called you crazy. But just look at what we’ve got as competition for President Obama in next year’s election.

Rick Perry the current Governor of Texas said he heard God call to him to say he should run for President. All I have to say is haven’t you ever gotten a message intended for someone else from someone who had the wrong number. I mean how do we know God was really calling him? Isn’t it possible for God’s lines to get crossed? Really, he's got a full schedule no assistant and makes a lot of calls. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying God’s imperfect but it was his idea to make us different colors so he could tell us apart….just saying. Anyway, this is the man who in defiance of President Obama’s healthcare program threatened to have Texas secede from the Union, in spite of Texas having the worst uninsured healthcare rate of any state in the country. He was a loud and vocal critic of the President’s stimulus program but then used the money to balance his state’s budget. This Born Again Christian allowed the execution of a likely innocent man when he could have intervened and then impeded the investigation into the matter. Then he gutted Texas childcare services even as Texas childcare poverty rate hit 25 percent. Born again? Yeah, but to what?

Michelle Bachman. There are way too many crazies that listen to this nut job. And how is it that people in her own party refuse to call out the hypocrisy of her family using federal dollars to do personal business and then refusing to talk about it? Besides, she has crazy eyes. This woman believes the Founding Forefathers were against slavery. You remember the Founding Forefathers which included Washington & Jefferson both of whom owned slaves, a few of which Jefferson himself fathered. The Founding Forefathers who stated slaves were only 3/5 of a man…yeah them. And don’t get me started on her closeted husband and his crazy reparative therapy program to turn gay people straight. What. You don’t think he’s gay? Have you seen this man? I offer this as evidence http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sFp0tnb7Wo come on that man is gayer than an Easter bonnet. He says gay people are “sinful barbarians” I say self-loathing dancing queen.

And speaking of self-loathing, what about Herman Cain the African-American Republican candidate. This man makes Steppin Fetchit look like Malcolm X. The only thing missing is a banjo. The man has never met a conservative white ass he didn’t immediately want to kiss. Mr. Crazy Pants has quite a few fanatical ideas about how the United States should be run. The former CEO of Godfather’s Pizza thinks radical Muslims are trying to infiltrate our government, Gay people have become too powerful and should be limited in their rights and African-Americans need to stop being victocrats get off welfare and get jobs. He refuses to criticize the GOP or the conservative movement for their lack of diversity and doesn’t think the Tea Party is racist. He just feels most African-Americans are too poor to attend their events. Thanks Herman, it’s good to know its money and not racism keeping African-Americans from the Tea Party. If elected he would only sign small bills…small as in 3 pages or less…ok. He wants to build a wall along the Mexican border but not just any wall he wants one modeled on the Great Wall of China complete with a moat filled with alligators. Typical conservative rhetoric, but it’s just weird hearing it coming from a Black man. Although that last one is just plain nuts.

Rick Santorum one of the few to sign the Marriage Pledge, along with Michelle Bachman and Mitt Romney. The pledge which seeks to deny marriage and civil unions to gay people and also states that black families were better off during slavery because there was a mother and father in the household…I’ll let that settle for a moment. Yep folks the National Organization for Marriage (NOM) headed by Maggie Gallagher, who to me looks like the skipper from Gilligan’s Island in drag, thinks that Black families were better off during slavery. Ahhh the good ole days of slavery, when you knew where to get a good meal & a nice warm cot to sleep on in a dank cold shack. When Black women endured nightly rapes by slave owners, men, women and children were traded off and sold like cattle, beaten and forced to live in inhumane conditions....good times. Yep he signed it and then tried to take it back.

Which leaves us with the aforementioned Mitt Romney, the Mormon and former Governor of Massachusetts. Yes the Mormons who until 1978 had a policy of excluding African-Americans from Priesthood and participation in temple ceremonies and in fact believed we had no souls. The same no coffee drinking, caffeine free, spirit prison, Negroes not entitled to the full blessing of the Gospel, multiple heaven having Mormons. The fact that this man is a Mormon may not be enough to disqualify him as a Presidential candidate for some but it’s enough for me. This is the same hypocrite who criticized President Obama’s healthcare program even though many say it was modeled after the one he created himself for Massachusetts and in the last election had trouble distinguishing between then Senator Barack Obama and known terrorist Osama Bin Laden.

Of course there are many, many more but I just don’t have the time or space to list them all and most of them are no longer serious contenders anyway, including the Thrilla from Wasilla, Sarah Palin. Considering the number of possible Republican candidates I guess a greater question to ask is, how many Republicans it takes to screw a President.