Oh No He Didn’t

I’m sure by now everyone has heard the story of the woman who was put off the train because she was talking loudly on her cell phone in the car reserved for quiet. According to reports signs are clearly displayed throughout the car prohibiting cell phone usage and requesting passengers to remain as quiet as possible. When I heard the train had departed from Oakland, California I thought to myself, “please don’t let her be a Black woman”. Then I heard her name, Lakeysha Beard. Now I don’t know about you but I don’t know any white women named Lakeysha. But then I saw her being escorted off the train, pure ghetto from the outfit to the hair, and I imagined how the scene may have taken place.

Train Passenger: “Ma’am could you please get off your phone, this is the Quiet Car.”

Lakeysha (on the phone in an extremely loud voice): “ Oooh girl no he didn’t…he just told me I need to get off the phone”

Towanda: “Unh unh girl don’t let him disrespect you like that”

Lakeysha: “I know hunh.” (to the passenger) “don’t be disrespecting me and getting all up in my face. I will go off up in here.”

Train Passenger: “But ma’am this is the Quiet Car, no cell phones are allowed.”

Lakeysha: “You don’t tell me what to do, I am a grown ass woman. I will talk wherever I want to and you can kiss my ass.” To Towanda, “so anyway girl I told Trinesha girl don’t let yo’ man treat you like that and she said…wait a minute, this fool done went and got the Conductor.”

Train Conductor: “Excuse me Miss but you’ll have to either get off the phone or move to another car, cell phones are not allowed in the Quiet Car.”

Lakeysha (twisting her neck for emphasis): “I will hang up when I finish my conversation and you can both kiss my ass.” (mutters to herself) “Gone tell me what to do, shit I will light this motha up.” Turns her head and continues her conversation with Towanda.

Train Conductor: “Ma’am if you do not hang up I will have you removed from the train.”

Lakeysha: “Girl, no he didn’t.” (turns to face conductor) “You put yo’ hands on me and I will own Miss Amtrak and all her damn trains, now get out ma face fo’ I really go off on yo’ ass.”

The train conductor leaves and Lakeysha continues her conversation, loudly. A short time later the train comes to an abrupt halt and two uniformed police officers board and along with the conductor approach Lakeysha.

Lakeysha: “Towanda girl let me handle this, I’ll call you right back.”

Police Officer: “Come with us Miss, you’re under arrest.”

Lakeysha: “For what?”

Police Officer: “Disturbing the peace ma’am.”

And for the first time in nearly 16 hours Miss Lakeysha Beard is silent and led off the train and a round of applause is heard from the Quiet Car.

Fried Chicken & Black Panthers

You know when I heard that the conservative right was up in arms over the invitation extended to rapper Common to attend a White house Celebration of the Arts earlier this week I considered the source and thought I’d move on. I mean they act like the First lady invited a bunch of gangsta rappers who were gonna show up with saggin’ pants, bandanas, throwing up gang signs and grabbing their crotches. Really, as far as rappers go, you couldn’t get much safer than Common without extending an invite to Will Smith. At any rate he’s certainly not the “vile rapper” described by Fox News, come on last year the man starred opposite Queen Latifah in a romantic comedy or fantasy or whatever it was because really how believable was that one but we’ll save that for another debate. Anyway, this is the same Fox News who just six months ago was praising Common and saying he is a role model for kids. Of course Sarah Palin “selectively quoted” two lines from one of Common’s poems directed at former President Bush where he said “burn a Bush for peace”…wow somebody call the radical police. In the same poem Common also says “tell the law, my Uzi weighs a ton.” By the way am I the only one who remembers when NWA rapper Easy E, who wrote violent lyrics against police as a hobby, was invited to a White House event hosted by the first President Bush? And yes, he did show up in saggin’ pants! Anyway, it’s called conscience rap Sarah, something you obviously don’t possess. I swear just when I think I couldn’t possibly hate her more she opens up her mouth and speaks. She also said the invitation was “lacking in class and decency.” (sighs heavily) Seriously, when does this woman’s 15 minutes end?

But then folks they really crossed the line. They went after my beloved Jill. Yes Jill Scott!! You know Jill who wanted to take a long walk around the block and spark some conversation verbal elation and stimulation… yeah her! The first Lady invited Ms. Scott to attend and read poetry as well. Now she’s being called a racist because of comments she made in an Essence Magazine article in which she expressed the subconscious discomfort she feels when seeing a Black man dating a white woman. Every conservative media outlet in the country immediately accused her of being racist and trotted out the old reliable, “now if a white person had said that”. First of all, who even knew bigots read Essence? Secondly, what they failed to do of course was to quote Ms. Scott fully. She also stated that she has internal conflict with her views on interracial dating as “I was raised to view everyone as equal, despite the color of their skin.” Not a single article I read from any of the right wing outlets included this quote. Racist, I think not. She simply expressed a heartfelt and honest opinion which she herself finds contradictory.

It all comes down to the conservatives attempts to scare White America into thinking that now that we have a Black President he wants to subvert the country and the White House. They would have you believe there’s a Black Panther rally going on in the White House every night along with watermelon, fried chicken and Olde English 800. Seriously, neither of these two invitees would be described as radical by anyone other than a rightwing nut. I don’t recall anybody checking the guest list for any of the Bush Soirees. I mean they certainly wouldn’t invite anyone who wrote fanatical lyrics like "early one mornin' while makin' the rounds, I took a shot of cocaine and I shot my woman down", no sir those lyrics were written by Mr. Johnny Cash…oh wait, wasn’t he personally honored by President George W. Bush at the White House? And didn’t I read somewhere that the Bush’s claim to be big fans of Bob Marley? But I guess that’s ok because even though he shot the sheriff he did not shoot the deputy.

Credit Due

Former President George W. Bush has declined an invitation from President Obama to attend today’s ceremony at the World Trade Center site and according to the New York Daily News he believes it is a publicity stunt and that President Obama is “taking all the credit” for finding and killing Osama Bin Laden. Want to talk publicity stunts Georgie? How about “mission accomplished” and that ridiculous jumpsuit you wore on that aircraft carrier? How about you were too busy for seven years with that made up war in Iraq to even look for Bin Laden? How about you grabbing a bullhorn at the World Trade Center site to say you would avenge the attacks and then a mere six months after, you said that it “wasn’t important” to find him. It just amazes me how when something positive happens for the President, the Republicans want to take credit but never for the negative. You know what you big baby how about you take credit for the recession, the mortgage meltdown and the two trillion dollar wars? Of course it’s for publicity but if the mission had failed it would have all been President Obama’s fault and nobody would be looking for credit.

Born In The USA

I believe Michael Jackson said it best in the 1978 film The Wiz:

You can't win,
You can't break even
Ain't the way it's supposed to be
You can't win, child
You can't break even
And you can't get out of the game

Yesterday President Obama released the long form copy of his birth certificate with the intent to put to rest all of this birther nonsense…yeah, well not so much. The president stated “We do not have time for this kind of silliness. We’ve got better stuff to do," and also said “Over the last two and half years, I have watched with amusement. I have been puzzled with the degree with which this thing just kept going,”… indeed. Donald Trump, who immediately held a press conference after the release of the document, took credit stating he was “very proud” of himself for “accomplishing what no one else was able to accomplish,” before adding that he would still need to inspect the birth certificate…honestly, the balls on this man must be humongous. Meanwhile the Republicans were busy discrediting the President and saying he was distracting American citizens from the matters at hand. Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney said, “What President Obama should really be releasing is a jobs plan”. Reince Priebus, newly elected chairman of the Republican National Committee declared, “This issue is a distraction. Our economy is strained from out of control deficits, debt, and unsustainable entitlements”, no shit and further added, “Unfortunately his campaign politics and talk about birth certificates is distracting him from our number one priority – our economy.” Wow, his talk about birth certificates? They act as though President Obama concocted this nonsense. These are the same people who have done absolutely nothing to quell the birthers within their own party and some of whom have actually encouraged them. Now when The President finally addresses these nuts, they insist his priorities are out of order.

In the end, will it make any difference? Most certainly not. Donald Trump and the nut job birthers can examine the President’s birth certificate until the cows come home it won’t change a thing because it’s all about race. It doesn’t matter that experts, government officials and even the Republican Governor of Hawaii have verified the President’s Certificate of Live Birth. It doesn’t matter that this is the official document issued to all citizens of the state of Hawaii. Some people just cannot get it in their minds that a Black man could possibly become President of the United States so they have to invent and invoke crackpot schemes and nonsensical issues to question his right to hold the position. I’m sure that right now someone somewhere is insisting the birth certificate is somehow fake or forged. Meanwhile, Donald Trump is questioning President Obama’s admission into Harvard as if he got in on some experimental admissions program or something other than his scholastic aptitude. Oh and by the way Mr. Trump, where are those tax returns you promised?

Words

Kobe Bryant has come under fire for using the word faggot as a derogatory term hurled at a referee who made a call to which he disagreed. When I heard this my first thought was “Uh oh this could be bad” but then he issued an apology and I thought everything would be fine... until I heard the apology. What he offered was the standard celebrity non-apology, sorry you’re so damn sensitive excuse, which typically goes something like I’m sorry but not really because... What he actually said was “My actions were out of frustration during the heat of the game, period,” and “the words expressed do not reflect my feelings towards the gay and lesbian communities and were not meant to offend anyone.” I beg to differ. The word faggot is meant to be demeaning with the intention of stripping the target of his manhood...period. It is a hateful degrading word used to embarrass and disrespect others and whether used in frustration or anger the intent is to offend its target. Within all of his rage and emotional anger Kobe wanted to offend the referee in what he conceived as the worst possible way. If a White player had called Kobe a nigger in frustration and his apology was “I’m sorry but I got mad” would that be acceptable? And it doesn’t matter whether or not the referee was actually gay, it is an offensive word meant to hurt...period. Now is it the end of the world and do I think Kobe is a homophobe? No, he made a mistake but even in the heat of the moment as a responsible adult and role model for children, shouldn’t he have chosen another word to deal with his anger? Even if he didn’t, if he had said so wouldn’t that have been a more appropriate apology?

A couple of days later I was listening to a local Black radio program and when the subject came up the debate turned to the use of the word faggot vs. nigger, the common view being that faggot is not as bad nigger. As I listened it quickly became obvious that the majority of the callers into the program perceived the Gay Movement as a White cause based on their perceived invisibility of Black gays. Now I believe the word nigger does not have the same connotation or history as the word faggot and neither does the history of the Gay Movement compare to that of the persecution, violence and dehumanization faced by Black people in this country, but some of the comments I heard were ignorant, stupid or outright bigoted. The most frequently used being “as a Black person I wake up Black every day, but a gay person can hide who they are". Wow! Whether you perceive homosexuality as a choice or something inherent it should not be something you have to hide or lie about to get through the day. Just because someone can conceal their sexual orientation does not make it "better" and there are people who wake up Black and fight for gay rights every day. Or how about, “those gay people want to hijack the civil rights movement”. This statement is so absolutely ridiculous and exclusionary as it assumes two things. Number one that civil rights are exclusive to Black people only and number two “those gay people” supposes that gay people are automatically assumed to be White. I got a statement for you try being both Black and gay and being called both a faggot and a nigger on a number of occasions.

Bottom line, having hatred hurled at you in any form is a terrible and degrading feeling. Words should not be overlooked as a means of hate and loathing. What Kobe said is homophobic and bothersome. Here's why. He told the world "I am mad at you right now and because of that I equate you with someone who is gay." I don’t care that he said it to a straight person and what resulted may not have been his intent but it's simply homophobic to say being gay is equal to being stupid or an asshole...period.

The Art Of The Comb Over

When I first heard the news that Donald Trump was running for president I thought to myself, “this has got to be some sort of bad joke”. I mean who in their right mind would vote for this self-absorbed, opinionated boob. And if elected are his plans to fire the country when he fails as President? Well it’s true and he’s actually gaining traction among his fellow Republicans and now the hairdo challenged failed businessman has jumped on the “birther” bandwagon and gotten it into his head that President Obama was not born in this country. He first showed up on The View with this nonsense and recently went on the Today Show to inform America that in spite of the fact that the State of Hawaii, as well as the Governor, has certified the birth and citizenship of President Obama, he has demanded to see the President’s birth certificate. He then produced a document intended to prove his own citizenship which turned out to not even be a birth certificate. Now the attention seeking buffoon and possible illegal alien says he has dispatched investigators to the state of Hawaii to look into the controversy.

This is obviously a man who will do anything for publicity and TV ratings. Who does he think he is “dispatching investigators” anywhere and other than the nut job birthers, who does he think will even buy into his findings? He needs to send those investigators to New Jersey to look into his scams and bankruptcies or how about they investigate what he’s hiding under that hair don’t. What his investigators are likely to find is that the State of Hawaii as well many other states no longer keep original documentation and instead issue a Certificate of Live Birth. Do Trump and his birther buddies expect Government agencies to store thousands of boxes forever? Welcome to the 21st century folks and the age of paperless storage. But what more could you expect? This is the same man who claimed the clueless and attention deprived La Toya Jackson a winner on the latest edition of his reality show Washed Up and Craving Attention Nutt Job Wanna Be Celebrity Apprentice. And now this showboating swindler says that President Obama might be a Muslim too?

Even the deceitful and recently fired from FOX News propagandist Glenn Beck said Mr. Trump’s talk makes him uncomfortable, and for good reason. Glenn Beck as well as most Republicans knows that this type of talk can only hurt their party and will send responsible thinking voters to President Obama’s camp. So I say bring it on. Trump is currently polling second in New Hampshire so let’s get more of these idiots with their ludicrous unfounded statements and their “let’s get Obama” agenda. It can only help President Obama in his bid for a second term. In fact where the hell is Sarah Palin when you need her? Oh and be on the lookout for Donald Trump’s next reality show Celebrity Bankruptcy sure to be coming your way soon on NBC. In the meantime how about we fire him…and that thing on his head too.

The Death of Nigger Jim

So the current publishers of Mark Twain’s classic novel, Huckleberry Finn, have decided to remove the word nigger from the book. Used over 200 times in the book including the constant reference to the runaway slave, nigger Jim, the word is set to be replaced with the word “slave”...Really? Slave Jim? The publisher says he felt discomfort over the language and by the reactions of younger readers. I’m not sure how young his readers are but I remember reading the book around the 8th or 9th grade and being able to understand the use of the word in context. I remember having teachers with whom I and my fellow students discussed the practice of the word as a chronicle of the time in which it was written. As I recall Jim was not even his real name and nigger Jim was used as a generic term for unnamed slaves. I was intelligent enough to understand that although the word was used as a put down and to keep black people “in their place” it had the complete opposite effect on Jim as nigger Jim was not the typical grinning Sambo as so many Blacks of that time were depicted. In fact he was an intelligent, courageous and complex character and really is the hero of the book.

So because some publisher is uncomfortable and to protect those who may be offended with its use we should pretend the word never existed and white wash the era and the history the book represents. This reminds me of the Arizona law enacted last year which makes it illegal to teach ethnic study courses in Arizona public schools as they teach minorities that they are oppressed by White people...Right! The fact is that the language contained in Mark Twain’s novel is important to the story and historically accurate for the period. Are we to edit all historical references and pretend like the hard, ugly parts of American history never happened to protect those from being potentially offended? Do we no longer show footage of the civil rights era because it includes recordings of Blacks being beaten and abused in the south by Whites? What about Richard Wright’s “Native Son”, Ralph Ellison's "Invisible Man" and the “Autobiography of Malcolm X”? Should they all be kiddie proofed as well?

The new publisher says he felt discomfort over Twain’s language and the reactions of younger readers. I say the younger readers should react and should be allowed to discuss rather than pretend an important part of American history never happened...and screw his discomfort. The use of the word in the book’s initial publishing caused very little controversy which makes it important to see how casually the word nigger was passed around during historical eras and it’s equally important to know why. To change the character’s name to slave Jim will only dismiss the dehumanization the character faced and further add to the revisionist history being pushed by the conservative movement. A movement which insist racism no longer exist in what they call the post racial Obama era and that the Civil War was solely about State’s rights. And anyway Jim was no longer a slave to anyone once he ran away but in their eyes he was always a nigger.

Lady Tee

“I need some magic words while I’m alone

I’m feeling like a saxophone”

 

Rest In Peace Lady Tee

Oh Thank Heaven For 7-Eleven

The Friday before Thanksgiving I was called into the office of the head of HR for the company I work for. I was told in an effort to cut costs the company had created a plan to furlough certain employees 3 days a week beginning with the coming Monday. My immediate reaction was, WHAT THE HELL??? And if you know me, you know I immediately copped an attitude. I told the HR person if the company expected me to cut back to 2 days a week she could consider this my notice and I would find employment elsewhere (under my breath she was told to kiss my ass). I mean who can afford to lose 3 days of pay a week? “No silly”, she replied laughing this is just for next week and you can use your vacation or personal time if you like…if I like? Of course I like you dumb bitch didn’t I just tell your ass I can’t afford to cut back to 2 days a week? And I don’t know what she found so damn funny, the thought of me losing my home out on the streets and begging for change from strangers at the local 7-Eleven? Or maybe she was amused at the arrogance of this Black man daring her with ultimatums and threatening to walk. At any rate as I was the first person she spoke with I suggested she change the way she broached the conversation or at least start off by saying it would only be for one week.

As it turns out it didn’t matter as she was full of shit anyway. This week when I returned to work I found they had furloughed more employees with plans to do so going forward. What I couldn’t understand is why they would force people to take time off and then tell them they could use their personal or vacation time. By doing this the company would not be saving any money as the cash required for payroll would not change. Now I’ve been an accountant for almost 30 years and I’m ashamed to admit that it took me awhile to figure out their game plan. You see in the state of California when you fire a person you are legally obliged to pay them for any vacation or personal time they may have accrued….I’ll let that sink in for a moment. By accruing this time it sits on the company’s books as a liability due the employee. The real plan these heartless bastards have concocted is to force people to use all of their vacation and personal time so that when they fire them, without notice, they won’t have to pay them for the time they have accrued...so this means that you fire me with no warning and no severance and all I’m left with is whatever I may have earned for that week…look out 7-Eleven I may be headed your way.

So I find myself 54 years old, pissed off, with minimal savings and faced with the prospect of finding a new job. Now don’t get me wrong being college educated and with 30 years of work experience helps but I earn a fairly decent salary to which I’ve grown accustomed and call me stupid but I’ve also adapted to living in a house and not my car. The fact is there are plenty of fresh faced college graduates who are willing to do my job for far less money and the scarcity of jobs in the current market leaves me wondering how quickly I’ll be able to find employment and at what rate. Of course there’s the additional pressure of trying to secure a job before these assholes deplete my vacation and personal time which, at this point is my only chance of any type of severance. So wish me luck as I begin this week to contact recruiters and refashion my resume. Maybe I should get caught up on the current youth lingo and fashions or at least find out who the hell Nicki Minaj is and why she’s pissed off Lil’ Kim. And by the way, the next time you see someone begging for cash at 7-Eleven pay close attention it may be someone you know.

George Bush Doesn't Care About Kanye West

Former President George W. Bush (#2 for those counting) says Kanye West’s claim that he didn’t care about Black people following Hurricane Katrina was one of the most disgusting moments of his presidency. Really George?? More disgusting than the thousands of people of New Orleans and surrounding areas that were affected directly by this disaster or the disturbing videos of the carnage and chaos that followed in its destructive wake? More disgusting than the devastation caused, those who lost their lives, loved ones, homes and those who were permanently displaced due to the slow and ineffective response by your administration?

What about the lives lost from 9/11 the most horrible terror attack in our nation’s history which, happened on your watch and which your staffers warned you about prior to it happening? What was that George a success? How disgusting was it when you cut taxes for the rich and when addressing a dinner of your wealthiest donors you joked, "This is an impressive crowd...the haves...and the have mores. Some people call you the elite...I call you my base." How about the lies from your administration regarding weapons of mass destruction in Iraq? Lies which led to the deployment of thousands of American soldiers who lost their lives in your “made up” war? What about the lack of postwar medical and mental health care for soldiers after their deployment? Didn’t you find that disgusting? What about destroying our nation’s reputation on the world stage, endorsing the use of kidnapping, torture and murder as the new standard of American foreign policy. How about ushering in the Bush Depression which led to the current state and collapse of our national economy? Not disgusting enough?

Five years later and you’re still fixated on comments made by an entertainer Mr. Bush? Your comments further expose you as petty, thin skinned and self-centered. To be clear Kanye West did not call you a racist, he said you didn’t care about Black people and there is no evidence to contradict his assertion. What I find disgusting is your utter lack of ability to even grasp an ounce of reality. I find it disgusting that in your fantasy world you’re just a poor misunderstood little rich white boy. In your version of the eight years spent in the white house you didn’t steal the presidency in 2000 with the help of the Supreme Court. In your deluded sense of reality there WERE weapons of mass destruction in Iraq and homeboy who threw the shoe at you was simply a well meaning though overzealous Foot Locker employee trying to make a sale.