Mr. Grumpy Pants Goes To Washington

Why is John McCain still on my TV? Didn’t he lose like four years ago? Why is his short round Alfred Hitchcock looking ass still here and what can I do to make him go away? In an attempt to manufacture relevance and remain in the spotlight, this man has been on every Sunday morning talk show, evening news broadcasts and internet news website for the past month. As they struggle to politicize the Benghazi Embassy incident and create controversy where none exist, he and his Republican cohorts have been blasting United States U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice attempting to portray her as the villain responsible for the attack. According to the Three Musketeers, senators McCain, Lindsey Graham and Kelly Ayote, Ambassador Rice, “purposely mislead the American public regarding the Benghazi attack and the forces behind it”. What she actually did was report the facts as she knew them at the time stating, “This is the best assessment we have today”. As U.N. Ambassador, Ms. Rice has absolutely no control over or involvement in foreign embassies the only reason she spoke on the situation was because Secretary of State Hilary Clinton was unavailable. The efforts by these three to link her to the incident reek of desperation. In an attempt to belittle and vilify the ambassador they’ve called her everything from “incompetent” to “not very bright”. McCain went so far as to say that he would do everything within his power to block any attempts by President Obama to appoint her as the next Secretary of State to which the President replied," I wish a muthafucka would”…well he didn’t actually say it but you know he was thinking it. What he actually said was that if Mr. McCain had a problem with the Benghazi Embassy attack he should take it up with him and not Ambassador Rice…translated, meet me on the playground at 3 PM and we’ll handle this.

So what’s really behind the senator’s obsession with Susan Rice? I mean former President George W. Bush had eleven U.S. Embassies attacked and I don't remember McCain and the gang creating crazy conspiracy cover-up theories about any of them. This is the same threesome who ferociously insisted Saddam Hussein had Weapons of Mass Destruction and got us into an unprovoked war in Iraq…still waiting for that apology. In an effort to calm the three scheming nut balls and quell their inquiries, Susan Rice agreed to meet with them Tuesday to answer their questions. Of course they used the occasion to advance their agenda and to make sure the media knew they left the meeting “more disturbed” than before. Oh did I forget to mention that Susan Rice is African-American? You know like Eric Holder, Van Jones and Shirley Sherrod the other members of President Obama’s administration who have been attacked by republican lawmakers and right wing pundits. And let's not forget Senator McCain is the same man who viciously fought and voted against the observance of Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday in the state of Arizona. Because of him Arizona was one of the last states to recognize the holiday almost ten years after it became a federal holiday. The truth is McCain has had a bug up his ass ever since the poison pen letter he sent in 2006 to then freshman Illinois Senator Barack Obama where he called him a liar and accused him of obstructing bipartisan lobbying reform and talked down to him as if he were a child. On top of that he has been a bitter, frustrated, vindictive, Obama-hating trouble maker since his humiliating presidential defeat in 2008. Apparently, in his mind the man is still running for president. It’s like he forgot he lost.

Because of term limits the senator is set to lose his status and prestige as the ranking member of the Armed Services Committee, which will leave him with nothing to do….except complain. He’s remained in the senate game made crazy ridiculous statements and claims for far too long and has now become the Terrell Owens of the senate, nobody wants him on their team. The man has outlived his senate usefulness. What he needs to do is not seek another senate term sit his disturbed ass down and retire. I would suggest that he retire with dignity but all dignity and respect were lost on him when he thrust the she beast Sarah Palin onto the world in 2008, an irreparable cruelty for which he is never to be forgiven. Mr. Grumpy Pants needs to discreetly pack his bags get the hell out of dodge and retreat to one of his many ranches, condos or beachfront properties spread across the country where he can complain and abuse the staff…and accuse them of silly baseless conspiracies.