Gone Too Soon

Last Friday a very good friend of mine lost her 16 year-old son in an accidental drowning at his school, her only child. He was in practice for the high school swim team and although the response time from the school coaches and the arriving paramedics was quick he passed away shortly after reaching the hospital. Upon hearing the news her husband suffered a heart attack. Although he remains hospitalized he’s ok and is expected to be released soon.

I wanted to write something to express my feelings for my friend’s loss but I just sat and I stared at the screen. I wanted to write of this unexpected and shocking event which will forever change her life and those connected to her son. I wanted to write of how I kept waiting for the phone call to come that day saying there had been a tragic mistake and her son was ok. I wanted to write of young lives taken too soon and of the unexplained will of God. I wanted to write of the empathy I felt for my friend but in all honesty I have no idea what that is, as I can’t imagine having to bear the massive and sorrowful weight of such a loss. I can’t even begin to fathom the pressure she must feel within or the hurt she struggles with just to rise out of bed. I can’t conceive her aching as everything around her reminds her of her son and subsequently of her loss. Ultimately, I had no shared experience I could offer in order to console her.

I wanted her to know I’ve prayed for the pain she feels to subside. I wanted to tell her it will get better but I can’t imagine this to be true. I know that the pain she feels will probably last longer than any mother’s heart should be forced to bear. I wish I could find words to comfort my friend. I wish I could say all the right things to make the pain go away and I wish I could hold my dear old friend to let her know she’s not alone. I take comfort in knowing she has a strong family and they will aid in her struggle to continue. I wanted to write but my heart was too heavy and the words wouldn’t come….so I stared at the screen.

Burnin' Down The House

So after a weeklong manhunt during which the LAPD had heavy light skinned Black men on lockdown in their homes for fear of being accidentally shot, they finally caught up with and reportedly killed alleged cop killer and former LAPD member, Chris Dorner…I’m still confused why they didn’t just go pick him up from Staples Center when he hosted the Grammy Awards last Sunday night. Anyway it’s good to know that the citizens of L.A are for the time being safe from the LAPD. For the past seven days I didn’t venture out of my home unless absolutely necessary as I didn’t want to become the result of a tragic misinterpretation which is how L.A Police Chief Charlie Beck described the incident where two Latino women on their morning paper route were shot in their vehicle as police mistook their truck for Dorner’s. But you can’t blame the LAPD, I mean who knew there was more than one Nissan Titan truck matching the description of Dorner’s in Los Angeles and anyway why take the time to run the tags on a vehicle when you can just open fire. But it’s all good, they offered them a new car to replace the bullet riddled one they refashioned…negotiated settlement to follow.

No comment so far from the Torrance police chief after peace officers shot up a second not Dorner vehicle. This time they rammed and fired three shots into the pick-up truck of a LAX baggage handler who was heading to the beach for some early morning surfing. It was reported that the colors of neither he nor the truck he was driving matched those of the suspect…seriously, it was in the L.A. Times. So apparently it doesn’t matter what hue or gender you are…and dude may want to pick up an afternoon hobby. The police then posted a bulletin stating the public should beware of Dorner…probably some computer glitch, I’m sure they meant the out of control  trigger happy police officers. They later offered a million dollar reward for Dorner, apparently dead or alive it didn’t say, which prompted all conscientious and civil minded Anglo citizens for the entire Southern California region to report every African-American male they encountered…as a result quite a few malls and office buildings were temporarily closed down.

Now I want to preface the following by saying I do not condone the actions of Christopher Dorner and I feel for the family of his victims. One more time for the illiteracy squad, I DO NOT CONDONE HIS ACTIONS. However I can certainly empathize with his frustration and I have a few questions regarding his dismissal. Additionally, it’s obvious that there are still major issues going on in the ranks of the LAPD and not a lot has changed since the Rodney King beating. Why are the abusers of Rodney King now in supervisory roles? Why is it that if you accuse a fellow officer of excessive force and the review board doesn't believe your side, you get fired? How can you possibly have an effective system of reporting abuse when there's no reward if they believe you and your career is ruined if they don't? Why were they so nervous and adamant about killing him that they'd open fire on a vehicle without identifying the occupants? (ok quite a few questions) This ridiculous PR ruse of reopening his case after he’s gone and unable to speak for himself speaks volumes and in fact any new inquiry should be handled by State or Federal authorities. It certainly should not be left up to the LAPD to investigate themselves…yet again.

Of course the media is already rampant with stories portraying African-Americans as Dorner’s only supporters and comparing them to those of O.J. Simpson. This is a false narrative that only serves to incite more racism and further paints African-Americans as supporters of terrorism. You only have to read the comments on every single page that covers this story to see the nearly unanimous opinion that his actions are wrong yet understood in light of the corrupt actions of his LAPD superiors. Dorner's manifesto (which is 10 pages long and took quite some time to read) does talk about the legacy of racism that exists in LAPD, but his grievance is not about that. It's about the blue code of silence and administrative retribution which protects their corrupt institution and the shitty way they treat some people and destroy the lives of others who don't fall in line. It’s sad that Dorner felt so betrayed by his fellow officers and superiors that he would resort to the actions taken. He may have had greater affect by simply releasing his manifesto to the media and the general public…or at the minimum maybe sending out a few resumes, just thinking out loud.

Finally, there has to be an independent investigation into last week’s shameful and unfounded assaults on innocent citizens going about their daily business in the overzealous hunt for a suspected cop killer. Both bullet riddled trucks should be parked downtown in front of police headquarters as a constant reminder of the corruption of the LAPD. But we can rest in the comfort that at least for now the LAPD can go to sleep without their night lights on…and I can finally get some sun.

A Dose Of The Homos

So the guy (I refuse to type his name, it’s just too damn long) who’s accepting blame for this whole Manti Te’o made up girlfriend hoax, lie, fantasy or whatever they’re calling it today tells Dr. Phil he’s a recovering homosexual and that he impersonated the fake girlfriend to have some twisted version of intimacy over the phone in order to be closer to Te’o…because he’s like all in love with him and shit. So my question of course is just what the hell a recovering homosexual is and where’s the cure? Imagine telling a friend, “I caught the homos man but don’t worry, I got a shot and I’m on the road to recovery”, or “I had a bad case of the homos last summer, it all started after I saw that Idris Elba film.” WTF! What this guy really needs to recover from is his constant and complicated lies and delusions. Now he’s claiming he was molested as a child by a fellow Mormon Church member as if that explains his homosexuality…you know the homosexuality he’s totally recovering from. The sad part is this guy, whose father is a minister in the Mormon Church is simply afraid he’ll lose his relationship with the father, his friends and family if he comes out as gay. Instead because of his distorted religious teachings and societal indoctrination imposed on him he says stupid self-loathing things and pretends to believe in the cure.

Seriously, homosexuality has not been considered a mental illness and certainly not a disease for over 40 years, but there are opportunists out there who claim they can magically heal people who are not sick and fix people who are not broken. They call it Reparative Therapy. These so-called therapists mislead "patients", deliberately misrepresent science and dangerously play head games that can cause lasting mental scars. What they are doing is engaging in consumer fraud as they offer promises that they can't deliver while delivering disasters that they never promised. America's youth of which this guy is a typical example, deserve better than being pawns in a shameful effort to profit from the pain of hurting parents who are falsely led to believe that these quacks are genuine experts. The American Psychological Association, the American Medical Association and the American Academy of Pediatrics all reject this supposed therapy and agree that attempts to change a person’s sexual identity can lead to anxiety, dejection, and self-destructive behavior. Teens exposed to this “treatment” are more likely to experience severe depression, suicide attempts and drug use according to the Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics.

I don’t know if this guy is in one of these programs but there are plenty of them out there. Most notably the clinic run by Michelle “Crazy Eyes” Bachman and her oh so obviously gay husband…I hope he’s not the poster boy for the clinic. By the way these are exactly the type of charitable organizations to which Chick-fil-A owner Dan Cathy donates. Honestly this whole reparative therapy scam has got to be stopped. The obvious and common sense question is has any heterosexual ever taught himself to become homosexual? Has the reverse situation ever occurred? We are inherently attracted to one gender or the other or perhaps to both genders. We do not sit down and choose A, B, or C, as if we are taking a multiple choice test. While no one has transformed from gay to straight, there have been too many people who have gone from whole to hurting or from alive to dead. Too many children are taught by these quacks to believe their genuine feelings are unreal or that they are somehow unclean and this therapy will cleanse them. The only disease this guy is suffering from is more commonly known as closititis and the cure is to simply come on out.

Slow News Day (Beyoncégate)

Well the question has been answered and America can breathe a sigh of relief. As the war persists in Afghanistan, civil unrest and religious conflict continue to plague the Middle East and the U.S. economy remains in need of resuscitation, yes folks the question has been answered, it’s true. Beyoncé pulled a Milli Vanilli while singing the national anthem at the presidential inauguration last week and the nation’s outraged. So has the press done anything to find out who is behind this travesty of a performance? Did President Obama know about this fraudulent presentation beforehand and is he a participant in the cover-up, or was he lied to as well. Was the White House sound technician part of the conspiracy? Did Beyoncé impose conditions on the United States Marine Band that backed her up? America demands the truth! Seriously, who gives a flying f*ck and why has so much press been devoted to this? With all the media fallout you would think she had been caught secretly shopping for outfits at Wal-Mart or something (although some of those House of Deréon so called fashions designed by her mother…just saying).

To be honest, those who watched expected and got a Beyoncé performance, which was all that was promised. It’s not like she did a lip synched performance to someone else’s vocals and tried to pass them off as her own (coughs Paula Abdul’s name). So why the outrage? New York Senator Chuck Schumer who organized and hosted the event says he is still waiting for an apology from Beyoncé, to which I have to ask, really senator? An apology? All references to hell freezing over aside I think the senator may be waiting a while, mainly because I don’t think she owes an apology to anyone. Her highness the Queen of Soul Aretha Franklin weighed (no pun intended) in saying "I thought it was really funny, but she did a beautiful job with the pre-record.” Ouch…talk about a back-handed compliment. She added that it never occurred to her to sing to a pre-recorded track when she performed at the 2008 inauguration ceremonies even though it was so cold her false teeth were chattering…and they were still in the glass. She added, "I wanted to give people the real thing and pre-recording never crossed my mind." Thanks for the shady support Ms. Franklin. To be honest I was so distracted by that damn hat I don’t know if Aretha was singing or not, I wasn’t listening. Hell she could have been reciting the Gettysburg Address for all I know. Jennifer Lopez never one to miss an opportunity to bask in the glow of others offered her support as well to which Beyoncé probably thought, “thanks but no thanks” because really when it comes to a question of singing, is this the person you want defending you.

The bottom line is it was her voice, not someone else's and despite what Hateretha and all the armchair critics had to say, it is quite understandable why someone may want to preserve their voice and not sing live in the cold windy weather. And ultimately, who cares. But let’s all forget President Obama’s stirring inaugural speech. Let’s ignore the significance of the fact that we had an African-American President inaugurated on the Martin Luther King, Jr. national holiday. Let’s instead focus on that which doesn’t matter. Let’s allow ourselves to be distracted from the coup going on in Virginia as redistricting threatens to eliminate a Democratic state senate seat or as Republicans attempt to break the system so that the will of the American electorate no longer matters. After all what’s more important.

Whole Fools Market

It’s the first of the year and I’ve spent the last several weeks negotiating with insurance brokers for renewal rates for the company’s healthcare plan. You would be surprised how many brokers attempt to use President Obama’s Affordable Healthcare Act (I refuse to use the derogatory Obamacare) as an excuse to increase premium rates. I do agree that the President’s plan is not perfect in fact one of the failings of the plan is that it does not allow the federal government to reject increases so the insurance companies are free to raise rates as they please where they are not regulated by local or state agencies. The plan does however require the insurance companies to spend less on administrative costs and more on actual healthcare which should actually result in better coverage for us the consumer. Of course this will mean lower profits for those companies so if premiums are going up its most likely because insurance companies are banking on perceived Obamacare hysteria (ok just this one time) to pass their losses on to consumers by raising rates. This is not some new phenomenon and contrary to what opposition would have you believe President Obama did not create it as businesses have passed their costs on to the customer since the original troglodyte sold his first wheel.

So after weeks of negotiation we ended up with an overall increase of 5% over last year’s healthcare rates. After discussion with the owner of our company it was decided that he would not pass the increase on to the employees and their share of health insurance premiums would remain the same as last year. The owner of the company knows that this increased expense will result in lower profits for the company but he also knows that not taking a bigger cut and instead paying more for his employee’s share of healthcare will result in happier employees which can increase productivity. He also knows this will allow them more money to seed the nation’s struggling economy. All of this leads me to the CEO of Whole Foods Markets, John Mackey. Mr. Mackey has decided that president Obama’s healthcare plan is a form of fascism. Specifically, he feels that the requirement that employers provide healthcare for their employees is fascist. To be honest I’m getting a little sick of these conservatives, tea baggers and the GOP in general throwing out these terms of Socialist, Marxist, Nazi and even communist illegal alien terrorist when it comes to describing our president…it’s all simply code for the “n” word.

Boy talk about not knowing your customer. Who does Mr. Mackey think shops at Whole Foods? His customer is more likely liberal, educated, upscale and health conscious. His customer is more likely to agree with the policies and plans of the Obama administration than those of the GOP. You certainly won’t find many conservatives roaming the aisles of Whole Foods looking to kick start their vegetarian lifestyle and willing to pay $5 for a tomato even if it does come with a coupon good off your next package of tofu. So now backtracking Mackey says his “poor word choice” was due to his frustrations with the current administrations attempts to socialize healthcare in the United States. You know socialized like Medicare and Medicaid. He says he objects to the increased business costs associated with the law, although the law does not dictate how you share that cost with your employees. The goal of healthcare reform is to insure that healthcare providers no longer take advantage of their customers as well as make changes so those with lower incomes have the ability to get insurance. I find it funny that all these companies that make millions sometimes billions of dollars a year are so fervently opposed to having to pay more so their workers have healthcare. So basically being greedy and selfish is more important than the actual employee’s health. What’s so hard to understand about healthy, happy employees being more productive? I gotta say as a CEO, this guy is not very bright.

So let’s put the blame where it belongs. I’m certainly not anti-business or even anti-profit but greed and profit at all costs over people is never the solution and these companies who make this the norm when it comes to business while touting the need for moral values and a more traditional America are not helping to secure a stable economy. Maybe it’s silly of me to assume that these executives actually want to help to bring our economy back around but how about taking some of those corporate tax breaks and incentives you take advantage of annually and instead of lining your pockets, reinvesting them into your companies to help cover the costs of added healthcare? In the end these CEOs who complain about the Affordable Healthcare Act whether it’s at Papa John’s, Applebee’s or Whole Foods Markets never have to worry about affording healthcare personally. It’s something they take for granted a luxury not afforded to the working class.

The Huxtables, 2013

Happy New Year folks! Took me a minute to get a grip but I’m with it now so let’s get this year going. Wow 2013 who would have thought, but I gotta ask where the hell are the damn flying cars, floating skyscrapers and space travel. Weren’t we supposed to have that stuff by now? Where’s the futuristic utopia I was promised as a child and I’m not talking about cell phones, iPads and other devices, I want my personal robot dammit. Instead we get All My Babies Mamas, a new reality show from rapper Shawty Lo (who I’m proud to say I have never heard of and what a stupid ass rap name anyway) but seriously All My Babies Mamas? What the hell?? I don’t know where to even begin. Apparently this man has 11 children by 10 different women, none of whom he is married to and felt this senseless stupidity was something he should share with the rest of America. When asked about the criticism surrounding his upcoming show Shawty Lo (just typing his stupid name makes me feel dumbed down) is quoted as saying "You can hate all you want to, I didn't ask for it. It just happened” as if he just tripped and fell into 10 different vaginas…idiot! And just who the hell does he think is hating on him, like we’re all just green with envy and dying to have 10 baby mamas…I think we need to retire the whole hating thing, people just don’t know how to use it properly.

Now before you say it, I know I have a right to not watch this silly mess of a show and believe me when I say I won’t but I need to know whose idea this was and why the reinforcement of stereotypes we’ve been fleeing for decades is suddenly considered entertainment. I don’t have to watch but that’s not the point because I will still be affected by it as we all are by the negative destructive images which continue to depict us in entertainment. Young men who admire this person and want to emulate him (which is a discussion for another day) are being taught its ok to act irresponsibly, reproduce with reckless abandon and generally exude amoral behavior and remain unaccountable. And the women in this are not blameless either. What would motivate you to be this man’s baby mama number 4 or 5 let alone 10? How the hell did that happen? Are none of these people familiar with condoms? The fact is there are plenty of normal, professional, educated intact traditional families within the African-American community. These dysfunctional types of family dynamics aren't the rule they're the exception, so why are we constantly exposed to those which demean us? Of course we all know why, it’s because the money hungry entertainment industry would promote any garbage that increases their bottom line and they’re banking on this nonsense becoming a hit. Unfortunately, people will watch anything so odds are in their favor to get a good return on their investment.

At any rate these so called reality shows and their degrading misrepresentations of African-American men and women are becoming increasingly more insulting and offensive and they must be stopped or more importantly we need to stop watching them. We cannot continue to allow ourselves to be portrayed as shiftless, lazy, morally bankrupt, welfare seeking baby makers and we’ve got to stop flocking to these vulgar disgusting spectacles. No matter how they attempt to glamorize or sensationalize them, they’re still minstrel shows and frankly I’d feel a whole lot better if they just painted their faces black and sang Mammy. And by the way, where the hell are Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson when you need them? Oh, and I want my damn space mobile it’s 2013 dammit.

State Of The Union

My father was a hardcore union man his entire adult working life. He believed in the union and what it represented for the working man and of the middle class families it helped to create, in particular the middle class African-American families. He knew of the days when workers had horrible working conditions, got paid extremely low wages and were told to be grateful that at least they had a job. Because of this, he favored the advantages afforded in having union representation in negotiations with business owners. Most people don’t realize the majority of rights and benefits workers are offered today are because of the hard work unions put in decades ago. Because of organized labor my father and mother were able to earn a decent living wage and provide medical and dental benefits for our entire family as well as pension plans for their senior years through their respective unions. There was nothing radical about my father’s ideas, because of his union he expected to be treated with respect and dignity, in fact it’s where I got my “I don’t have to take shit from you” attitude about employers. I watched both of my parents get up and go to work each and every day and quite simply they both felt that hard honest work should be rewarded and they passed this work ethic on to me and my sisters.

Recently Republican lawmakers in Michigan quietly passed legislation through a lame-duck session and Michigan became a “right to work state”, or as President Obama called it “right to work for less”. The legislation states that workers are no longer required to join a union and pay dues and fees to it in order to get or keep a job. Michigan legislators say their intent is to give workers more choice and support economic growth, but the real intent is to weaken organized labor by encouraging workers to freeload by withholding money unions need to bargain effectively. These freeloaders pay no dues but still reap the benefits of collective bargaining. It’s amazing how effective Republicans are in brainwashing the middle class. Equally amazing is how middle class workers are unable to see right through these liars and continually vote against their best interest. Theses conservative politicians convince the public that all the economic problems in Michigan are the union's fault, as if all the crappy products the auto industry was producing were decisions of the union management, all the while knowing their main goal is to take away workers’ rights. Bankrupting unions prevents union influence during elections but big business and political PACs like those funded by the billionaire Koch Brothers can spend all they want all of which helps the GOP at election time.

The fact is that without unions, workers are subject to the whims and decisions of bad managers. Wages have dropped, benefits are disappearing, and workers are being exploited and abused…just take a look at Wal-Mart. This union busting is about businesses making bigger profits by paying workers less. Their profits go up while workers’ paychecks go down. Sure there will be more jobs because like Wal-Mart they cut hours, pay minimum wage and are able to get two workers for the price of one. The Republicans call workers making $20 an hour greedy yet they call billionaires who want more profits on the backs of their workers and less taxes successful. Unions have fought long and hard for things such as fair wages and safe working conditions yet Republicans say union workers are wrong because they want these things. What should happen is that when a union bargains and achieves higher wages and increased benefits it should only go to union members. Those who want to save a few measly bucks a month in union dues should be left to bargain on their own.

Worker issues have changed over the years, but workers still need an organization to stand up for their rights, wages and working conditions. It is very easy to forget that unions protect the labor force at large by forcing employers to follow work place rules and regulations and play a critical role in maintaining a middle class in this country. The absence of unions will allow corporations to again take advantage of workers and we'll revert back to the pre-union days. It's happening in countries like China by American corporations, so why wouldn’t it happen here as well?

Endangered Species

I remember being at the movies with friends, in particular being at the movies to see Dreamgirls. There were a group of African-American teenagers seated behind us and they were chattering consistently throughout the film and complaining about the number of songs…yes this was Dreamgirls...the musical. Just as Jennifer Hudson was about to belt out her rendition of “And I’m Telling You, I’m Not Going" one of them yelled out, “Oh God, I know she’s not going to sing another song” at which point I turned around told her to shut the hell up. The audience applauded as we had all had enough. Now I suppose if I was in the state of Florida I could have simply turned around and shot her and claimed self-defense utilizing the Stand Your Ground Law as she was invading my space and I felt threatened. It may sound ludicrous but this is exactly what’s happening in Florida where African-American teens are in danger of extinction.

Ok these are the facts of the case at hand. Imagine you’re out of town for a wedding and you pull into a gas station. Next to you is a group of loud obnoxious teenagers blasting their music. As you sit waiting for your girlfriend to return from the convenience store attached to the gas station you ask them to turn down their music and being typical teenagers they tell you to kiss their ass and turn it up louder. So you get into a heated argument with them reach into your glove compartment, get a gun and fire 8 to 9 shots into their vehicle killing one teenager. You don’t wait for the police you instead flee the scene, drive yourself and your girlfriend to a nearby hotel and go to sleep…after all it’s been a long day and murder does take its toll. The next day you see on the news that one of the teens did in fact die yet neither you nor your girlfriend attempt to file a police report and instead drive 160 miles home as if nothing has happened. The police track your license plates to your home and you’re arrested for murder and attempted murder. Two days after your arrest your attorney states she plans to use the Stand Your Ground Law as a defense as you now claim you saw a shotgun in the teenager’s vehicle, feared for your life and shot in self-defense. However, this claim is not included in the arresting police report, no firearms were found in the victim’s vehicle, no other shots were reported fired and no casings were found other than those of your gun.

Folks, bad manners and loud music are never an excuse for murder. Teenagers are rude by nature but their rude behavior should not be a sentence to death. If the teenagers I told to be quiet in the movie theater had chosen to get in an argument with me instead of being quiet I would have simply got an usher and had them removed. Instead of being the mature adult and either intelligently walking away or calling the police this John Wayne wannabe chose to shoot up the vehicle and its inhabitants like he was in Gunsmoke or The Wild, Wild West. So why is it ok to shoot up a group of African-American teenagers? What is it about him feeling threatened that would justify his acts? Did he fall back on stereotypes and assume that because they were young, Black and listening to hip-hop they were violent criminals carrying weapons? Or is it that for some people the mere existence of Black people can seem life threatening. And please don’t tell me race is not at issue. Would he have acted differently if he had pulled in and there were a group of loud white bikers blasting their music? You do not get to invoke the right of scared white guy to gun down Black people when you feel threatened. His actions and then retreating to the Stand Your Ground Law are merely a new form of legal lynching and some drastic action needs to be taken before it happens again. We should not have to be fearful for our children to be out alone at night, walking in the rain or pumping gas afraid that some pent up drunken racist nut may be out stalking Black kids.

Mr. Grumpy Pants Goes To Washington

Why is John McCain still on my TV? Didn’t he lose like four years ago? Why is his short round Alfred Hitchcock looking ass still here and what can I do to make him go away? In an attempt to manufacture relevance and remain in the spotlight, this man has been on every Sunday morning talk show, evening news broadcasts and internet news website for the past month. As they struggle to politicize the Benghazi Embassy incident and create controversy where none exist, he and his Republican cohorts have been blasting United States U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice attempting to portray her as the villain responsible for the attack. According to the Three Musketeers, senators McCain, Lindsey Graham and Kelly Ayote, Ambassador Rice, “purposely mislead the American public regarding the Benghazi attack and the forces behind it”. What she actually did was report the facts as she knew them at the time stating, “This is the best assessment we have today”. As U.N. Ambassador, Ms. Rice has absolutely no control over or involvement in foreign embassies the only reason she spoke on the situation was because Secretary of State Hilary Clinton was unavailable. The efforts by these three to link her to the incident reek of desperation. In an attempt to belittle and vilify the ambassador they’ve called her everything from “incompetent” to “not very bright”. McCain went so far as to say that he would do everything within his power to block any attempts by President Obama to appoint her as the next Secretary of State to which the President replied," I wish a muthafucka would”…well he didn’t actually say it but you know he was thinking it. What he actually said was that if Mr. McCain had a problem with the Benghazi Embassy attack he should take it up with him and not Ambassador Rice…translated, meet me on the playground at 3 PM and we’ll handle this.

So what’s really behind the senator’s obsession with Susan Rice? I mean former President George W. Bush had eleven U.S. Embassies attacked and I don't remember McCain and the gang creating crazy conspiracy cover-up theories about any of them. This is the same threesome who ferociously insisted Saddam Hussein had Weapons of Mass Destruction and got us into an unprovoked war in Iraq…still waiting for that apology. In an effort to calm the three scheming nut balls and quell their inquiries, Susan Rice agreed to meet with them Tuesday to answer their questions. Of course they used the occasion to advance their agenda and to make sure the media knew they left the meeting “more disturbed” than before. Oh did I forget to mention that Susan Rice is African-American? You know like Eric Holder, Van Jones and Shirley Sherrod the other members of President Obama’s administration who have been attacked by republican lawmakers and right wing pundits. And let's not forget Senator McCain is the same man who viciously fought and voted against the observance of Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday in the state of Arizona. Because of him Arizona was one of the last states to recognize the holiday almost ten years after it became a federal holiday. The truth is McCain has had a bug up his ass ever since the poison pen letter he sent in 2006 to then freshman Illinois Senator Barack Obama where he called him a liar and accused him of obstructing bipartisan lobbying reform and talked down to him as if he were a child. On top of that he has been a bitter, frustrated, vindictive, Obama-hating trouble maker since his humiliating presidential defeat in 2008. Apparently, in his mind the man is still running for president. It’s like he forgot he lost.

Because of term limits the senator is set to lose his status and prestige as the ranking member of the Armed Services Committee, which will leave him with nothing to do….except complain. He’s remained in the senate game made crazy ridiculous statements and claims for far too long and has now become the Terrell Owens of the senate, nobody wants him on their team. The man has outlived his senate usefulness. What he needs to do is not seek another senate term sit his disturbed ass down and retire. I would suggest that he retire with dignity but all dignity and respect were lost on him when he thrust the she beast Sarah Palin onto the world in 2008, an irreparable cruelty for which he is never to be forgiven. Mr. Grumpy Pants needs to discreetly pack his bags get the hell out of dodge and retreat to one of his many ranches, condos or beachfront properties spread across the country where he can complain and abuse the staff…and accuse them of silly baseless conspiracies.

This Christmas

Despite the fact that we have yet to even celebrate Thanksgiving, last week the radio station we listen to here at work began playing Christmas music and I gotta say I’m already fed up and feeling like I need to throw the damn radio through a window. All I’m saying is it’s only been two working days and already I’ve heard more carols than I care to count. The radio station is running a contest where you can win $10,000 if you hear Bing Crosby’s White Christmas two times in a row. I’d pay $10,000 just to never have to hear that damn song ever again. When I’ll be home for Christmas came on for the umpteenth time I thought to myself, “Yeah I bet your ass will be home and probably a week early too, you got enough time to walk at this point.” And don’t get me started on Mariah and All I want for Christmas, all I want for Christmas is for you to shut the hell up and never sing another Christmas song again. I will say that at least there is a variety of the type of Christmas carols we’ve been bombarded with from Elvis to Nat King Cole and Anita Baker to Whitney Houston and before you label me all bah humbug and Scroogey I will say some of them actually make me nostalgic. When I heard the song from the Charlie Brown Christmas Special you know the one, when all the kids are dancing around Schroeder on stage as he plays the piano it reminded me of how as children me and my sister Denise would attempt to imitate their dance moves and then fall on the ground laughing hysterically. And I gotta say I enjoyed hearing The Jackson Five with Michael singing, I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus… “And I’m Gonna Tell My Daddy”

In spite of the repetition I’ve learned a few things that never occurred to me before, like Rudolph was apparently one of the first kids to be bullied I mean all of the other reindeers used to laugh and call him names and then they never let him play in any reindeer games, come on. What a bunch of assholes. So he had a big red nose you would too if you spent all your time at the freezing fricking North Pole. I just hope when he made the big time and Santa called him up he gave them all the Bill Gates I used to be a nerd but now I’m rich treatment and told them all to kiss his artic ass. And can someone please explain to me exactly what Eartha Kitt was planning on doing with Santa Baby once she got the deed, the ring and the checks? Well she did say she wanted him to trim her Christmas tree. And how about that Mr. Grinch, a mean one indeed, “You really are a heel, you're as cuddly as a cactus, you're as charming as an eel, Mister Grinch", wow. Or how’s this, “You're a foul one, Mister Grinch, you're a nasty wasty skunk, your heart is full of unwashed socks, your soul is full of gunk", Dr. Seuss had serious issues but come on I mean dude stole all of the Christmas gifts, Roast Beast, Who-hash and decorations in Whoville. The man has no shame but what do you expect “his heart was two sizes too small”.

Now don’t get me wrong I enjoy the Christmas season as much as the next guy but I would rather celebrate in a much more timely manner…and at least enjoy my damn Thanksgiving turkey first. I don’t mind it beginning to look a lot like Christmas, it’s just that it’s looked that way since before Halloween. You know what I’m talking about, timely. Like putting up the Christmas lights and shopping for a tree a couple of weeks before the date. Stocking up on brandy and egg nog for guests…yeah for guests, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Or what has become tradition at my house, looking forward to Christmas day gumbo and opening gifts with the grandkids. And the movies, I’m still a sucker for It’s A Wonderful Life and I always catch at least one viewing of A Christmas Story watching Ralphie scheming and pleading for his Christmas gift of the Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle…if you’ve seen the movie you know what I’m talking about, if not you should check it out.

The Christmas season wasn’t meant to last two months folks. They’ve even moved Black Friday up this year to Thanksgiving night...sheesh. What has always made Christmas special is the anticipation and expectation as it builds to a quick climax and rightly before you know it, it’s over and you can’t wait for it to come again. This slow build beginning in October takes away from the suspense of a shorter season and only serves to dilute the reason for the season. A person camping out overnight in a tent just to get a deal on stuff they don’t need is not what Christmas is all about. So how do we move the start of the celebration back to where it used to be and how do we regain the meaning of Christmas to what it was in years past? Should we start an online petition? Maybe we can get those secession folks on board.