Seriously??!!... 5.8?? This is what it takes to send people on the East Coast panicking and running into the streets like Godzilla was attacking? I heard reports of terrified citizens storming out of buildings predicting some type of end of the world Armageddon. Please, here in California we routinely ride a 5.8 earthquake in our sleep. Our pets don’t even wake up. Seriously, you turn to your spouse sleeping next to you and ask, “Refried bean burrito for lunch?” If we evacuated buildings and shut down work for every damn 5.8 that hit we’d never get any work done…wait that’s not such a bad idea. Really, according to news reports tens of thousands of people were evacuated from buildings and schools and roads were closed, which really was a problem as the caravan of trucks carrying Donald Trump’s hairspray were delayed. And you should see the looks on their faces running from buildings looking like they just caught a glimpse of Rosie O’Donnell’s striptease act or something.
For years folks on the east coast have ridiculed us for our earthquakes telling us how they don’t compare to the devastation caused by other natural disasters. You know, all the tornadoes, hurricanes, ice storms, Tammy from the Basketball Wives. But now a little tremor knocks your favorite Rembrandt crooked in your pretentious million dollar 200 square foot high rise apartment and you get all crazy. Meanwhile as these idiots sit under their kitchen tables, we here in California wait for the San Andreas Fault to do the Cupid Shuffle slide us into the Pacific and create an island making us the United State of California, while everyone rushes to buy up property at the newly formed Las Vegas Marina. And now they’re complaining about the small aftershocks of 2.8, like they thought it was over after one jolt. Please, a 2.8 aftershock is like the belch you get from too much Pepsi. I’ve gotten so used to the tremors that when one hits and I’m at work my only concern is to rush home to make sure none of my Cognac has bounced off the shelf.
So as New Yorkers prepare their “I Survived the East Coast Quake of 2011” t-shirts, we here in Southern Cali are preparing for the wild fire season to be followed by mudslides and houses sliding into one another. Included in this will be the one to two inches of our rainy season where drivers lose their minds forget how to signal and slam into each other on the 405 as newscasters warn us of Storm Watch 2011, while wearing shorts and tank tops. So yes we’ll continue to laugh and mock the idiotic reactions of these East Coast wimps, like this nut from the Baltimore Ravens who was filming a promo when the quake hit http://spo¬rts.yahoo.¬com/nfl/bl-og/shutdow¬n_corner/p¬ost/I-get-¬the-feelin¬g-Torrey-S¬mith-isn-8¬217-t-used¬-?urn=nfl-¬wp5755 . Where the hell is he going? What is he thinking, “I’ll just leave the safety of a wide open football field and head for some building that may be falling.” ...dumb ass. Of course our attitudes may change if a freak hurricane ever hits LA but at least that would give our newscasters a real Storm Watch to report on and a reason to pull out all those winter coats we’ve been storing up…and just imagine the 405.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Avoiding the Help
Now don’t get me wrong I’m up for a really nice feel good movie as much as anyone else but when I saw the ads for the latest perky white woman with great intentions, saves the day by teaching oppressed African-Americans that they are beautiful in spite of their conditions, themselves and their surroundings, I thought to myself, this is bull. Yeah I said it. I’m sick of these depictions of the saintly white and usually blonde angel floating in to save the day, ala The Blind Side, for us po African-American folk who can’t do it for ourselves. By the way, I refused to see that one too. Unfortunately, this is not some historical tale of African-American female empowerment during a troubling time in American history. This is not a story of how they overcame their oppressors and triumphed against all odds. Instead what we get is some sanitized fictional version of the African-American experience written and told through the paternalistic eyes of a White person minus all the ugliness and pain endured geared to play into the White liberal guilt of its target audience.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting you don’t see it, films featuring African-American Actors are few and far between. It’s just not a story I care to see again. I’m sure there are great performances and especially from Viola Davis, a well respected two time Tony Award winning and previously Oscar nominated actress. The word is she’ll be nominated again for this role but my question is, why does she have to get nominated for playing a maid. Is this 1939 and Hattie McDaniel? I can’t remember the last time Meryl Streep received an Oscar for playing a maid...oh yeah, it was never. Why is such a well respected and honored actress reduced to playing such a role? This was a time of lynching, rape and murder for African-American men and women if they even looked at White people sideways so why was this role even written as the background for a happy story. Yeah I’m sure there were happy times for African-American folks during this era, I’m just not so sure they came as a result of some fresh from college animated southern White woman from the 1930’s who thought, “them po, po nigras I sho would like to help em”.
There is a story to be told here but I think it’s one about the countless number of white children raised by their African-American Mammies for whom they professed love but grew up to be hateful racists when they came into contact with the general population and the real world. You know kind of like White Republican Senator Strom Thurmond who fathered a child with his family’s African-American maid. The same Senator Thurmond who grew to be one of the most vile and loathsome separate but not equal seeking, Civil Rights Act opposing bigots of the 20th century. May he not rest in peace. But I guess that wouldn’t make anybody feel good.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting you don’t see it, films featuring African-American Actors are few and far between. It’s just not a story I care to see again. I’m sure there are great performances and especially from Viola Davis, a well respected two time Tony Award winning and previously Oscar nominated actress. The word is she’ll be nominated again for this role but my question is, why does she have to get nominated for playing a maid. Is this 1939 and Hattie McDaniel? I can’t remember the last time Meryl Streep received an Oscar for playing a maid...oh yeah, it was never. Why is such a well respected and honored actress reduced to playing such a role? This was a time of lynching, rape and murder for African-American men and women if they even looked at White people sideways so why was this role even written as the background for a happy story. Yeah I’m sure there were happy times for African-American folks during this era, I’m just not so sure they came as a result of some fresh from college animated southern White woman from the 1930’s who thought, “them po, po nigras I sho would like to help em”.
There is a story to be told here but I think it’s one about the countless number of white children raised by their African-American Mammies for whom they professed love but grew up to be hateful racists when they came into contact with the general population and the real world. You know kind of like White Republican Senator Strom Thurmond who fathered a child with his family’s African-American maid. The same Senator Thurmond who grew to be one of the most vile and loathsome separate but not equal seeking, Civil Rights Act opposing bigots of the 20th century. May he not rest in peace. But I guess that wouldn’t make anybody feel good.
Friday, August 12, 2011
The Big House
So they finally managed to turn President Obama into just another brother with bad credit, a mortgage he can’t afford and tapped out equity. By consistently blocking the raising of the debt ceiling, the Republicans sought to make him a credit risk in the eyes of voters. In fact the whole debt ceiling crisis was one manufactured by Republicans and if not for them we would not be facing a credit downgrade.A manufactured crisis, because the fact is the debt ceiling has been consistently raised under every presidential administration since Jimmy Carter…and without controversy. Ronald Reagan about tripled the debt limit in 8 years and George W. Bush nearly doubled it.
So why did something as routine as a credit limit increase turn into a national nightmare? Well according to Senate Republican leader Mitch McConnell, “the single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term President” as if that wasn’t already abundantly clear. At least Mr. McConnell is honest in voicing his intentions. What we ended up with is a plan that doesn’t reduce the federal debt by one cent. What it did instead was instill fear into the minds of voters that President Obama may bankrupt the government and more importantly it gives the Republicans an issue to run on in the next election cycle. Apparently for Mr. McConnell and his fellow Republicans a debt downgrade is an acceptable cost of doing politics…no matter the repercussions.
Of course President Obama’s approval ratings are taking an expected decline, except with African-Americans and not surprisingly. From the beginning the attacks on President Obama by the right have been vicious and savagely racists. In my opinion President Obama has the undying support of most African-Americans because we take those attacks personally as he is one of our own. When he is attacked, we all are. This latest crisis only further validates this in the minds of most. It’s not that we can’t be critical of our President, there are things he and his fellow Democrats could have done differently. The least of which, would have been to push through the debt limit increase when the Democrats controlled the house during the President’s first two years of office. The problem is that we can all relate to these bigoted assaults. The empathy we have for President Obama is understood by us and earned legitimately.
Recently, the President celebrated his 50th birthday at the White House with invited guests and performances featuring Stevie Wonder, Ledisi & Herbie Hancock. Included was a DJ who played Classic Motown and 70’s and 80’s R&B and soul music. The next day FOX News ran a headline on their website which read “Obama’s Hip-Hop Event Didn’t Create Jobs”. Included were photos of Chris Rock, Jay Z and Charles Barkley. Nowhere did it mention the many white celebrities, including Tom Hanks and Barbara Streisand, who attended the party. FOX News has also referred to the White House as Hizzhouse, Hizzy and The Big Crib. This is wrong on so many levels that it’s not even worth discussing. Still, it does explain why we feel the way we do about our President.
So why did something as routine as a credit limit increase turn into a national nightmare? Well according to Senate Republican leader Mitch McConnell, “the single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term President” as if that wasn’t already abundantly clear. At least Mr. McConnell is honest in voicing his intentions. What we ended up with is a plan that doesn’t reduce the federal debt by one cent. What it did instead was instill fear into the minds of voters that President Obama may bankrupt the government and more importantly it gives the Republicans an issue to run on in the next election cycle. Apparently for Mr. McConnell and his fellow Republicans a debt downgrade is an acceptable cost of doing politics…no matter the repercussions.
Of course President Obama’s approval ratings are taking an expected decline, except with African-Americans and not surprisingly. From the beginning the attacks on President Obama by the right have been vicious and savagely racists. In my opinion President Obama has the undying support of most African-Americans because we take those attacks personally as he is one of our own. When he is attacked, we all are. This latest crisis only further validates this in the minds of most. It’s not that we can’t be critical of our President, there are things he and his fellow Democrats could have done differently. The least of which, would have been to push through the debt limit increase when the Democrats controlled the house during the President’s first two years of office. The problem is that we can all relate to these bigoted assaults. The empathy we have for President Obama is understood by us and earned legitimately.
Recently, the President celebrated his 50th birthday at the White House with invited guests and performances featuring Stevie Wonder, Ledisi & Herbie Hancock. Included was a DJ who played Classic Motown and 70’s and 80’s R&B and soul music. The next day FOX News ran a headline on their website which read “Obama’s Hip-Hop Event Didn’t Create Jobs”. Included were photos of Chris Rock, Jay Z and Charles Barkley. Nowhere did it mention the many white celebrities, including Tom Hanks and Barbara Streisand, who attended the party. FOX News has also referred to the White House as Hizzhouse, Hizzy and The Big Crib. This is wrong on so many levels that it’s not even worth discussing. Still, it does explain why we feel the way we do about our President.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Contenders
If you had told me in 2006 that a new breed of politician would gain prominence on the national stage that could cause me to look on George W. Bush as a fairly reasonable, senior statesman I would have called you crazy. But just look at what we’ve got as competition for President Obama in next year’s election.
Rick Perry the current Governor of Texas said he heard God call to him to say he should run for President. All I have to say is haven’t you ever gotten a message intended for someone else from someone who had the wrong number. I mean how do we know God was really calling him? Isn’t it possible for God’s lines to get crossed? Really, he's got a full schedule no assistant and makes a lot of calls. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying God’s imperfect but it was his idea to make us different colors so he could tell us apart….just saying. Anyway, this is the man who in defiance of President Obama’s healthcare program threatened to have Texas secede from the Union, in spite of Texas having the worst uninsured healthcare rate of any state in the country. He was a loud and vocal critic of the President’s stimulus program but then used the money to balance his state’s budget. This Born Again Christian allowed the execution of a likely innocent man when he could have intervened and then impeded the investigation into the matter. Then he gutted Texas childcare services even as Texas childcare poverty rate hit 25 percent. Born again? Yeah, but to what?
Michelle Bachman. There are way too many crazies that listen to this nut job. And how is it that people in her own party refuse to call out the hypocrisy of her family using federal dollars to do personal business and then refusing to talk about it? Besides, she has crazy eyes. This woman believes the Founding Forefathers were against slavery. You remember the Founding Forefathers which included Washington & Jefferson both of whom owned slaves, a few of which Jefferson himself fathered. The Founding Forefathers who stated slaves were only 3/5 of a man…yeah them. And don’t get me started on her closeted husband and his crazy reparative therapy program to turn gay people straight. What. You don’t think he’s gay? Have you seen this man? I offer this as evidence http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sFp0tnb7Wo come on that man is gayer than an Easter bonnet. He says gay people are “sinful barbarians” I say self-loathing dancing queen.
And speaking of self-loathing, what about Herman Cain the African-American Republican candidate. This man makes Steppin Fetchit look like Malcolm X. The only thing missing is a banjo. The man has never met a conservative white ass he didn’t immediately want to kiss. Mr. Crazy Pants has quite a few fanatical ideas about how the United States should be run. The former CEO of Godfather’s Pizza thinks radical Muslims are trying to infiltrate our government, Gay people have become too powerful and should be limited in their rights and African-Americans need to stop being victocrats get off welfare and get jobs. He refuses to criticize the GOP or the conservative movement for their lack of diversity and doesn’t think the Tea Party is racist. He just feels most African-Americans are too poor to attend their events. Thanks Herman, it’s good to know its money and not racism keeping African-Americans from the Tea Party. If elected he would only sign small bills…small as in 3 pages or less…ok. He wants to build a wall along the Mexican border but not just any wall he wants one modeled on the Great Wall of China complete with a moat filled with alligators. Typical conservative rhetoric, but it’s just weird hearing it coming from a Black man. Although that last one is just plain nuts.
Rick Santorum one of the few to sign the Marriage Pledge, along with Michelle Bachman and Mitt Romney. The pledge which seeks to deny marriage and civil unions to gay people and also states that black families were better off during slavery because there was a mother and father in the household…I’ll let that settle for a moment. Yep folks the National Organization for Marriage (NOM) headed by Maggie Gallagher, who to me looks like the skipper from Gilligan’s Island in drag, thinks that Black families were better off during slavery. Ahhh the good ole days of slavery, when you knew where to get a good meal & a nice warm cot to sleep on in a dank cold shack. When Black women endured nightly rapes by slave owners, men, women and children were traded off and sold like cattle, beaten and forced to live in inhumane conditions....good times. Yep he signed it and then tried to take it back.
Which leaves us with the aforementioned Mitt Romney, the Mormon and former Governor of Massachusetts. Yes the Mormons who until 1978 had a policy of excluding African-Americans from Priesthood and participation in temple ceremonies and in fact believed we had no souls. The same no coffee drinking, caffeine free, spirit prison, Negroes not entitled to the full blessing of the Gospel, multiple heaven having Mormons. The fact that this man is a Mormon may not be enough to disqualify him as a Presidential candidate for some but it’s enough for me. This is the same hypocrite who criticized President Obama’s healthcare program even though many say it was modeled after the one he created himself for Massachusetts and in the last election had trouble distinguishing between then Senator Barack Obama and known terrorist Osama Bin Laden.
Of course there are many, many more but I just don’t have the time or space to list them all and most of them are no longer serious contenders anyway, including the Thrilla from Wasilla, Sarah Palin. Considering the number of possible Republican candidates I guess a greater question to ask is, how many Republicans it takes to screw a President.
Rick Perry the current Governor of Texas said he heard God call to him to say he should run for President. All I have to say is haven’t you ever gotten a message intended for someone else from someone who had the wrong number. I mean how do we know God was really calling him? Isn’t it possible for God’s lines to get crossed? Really, he's got a full schedule no assistant and makes a lot of calls. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying God’s imperfect but it was his idea to make us different colors so he could tell us apart….just saying. Anyway, this is the man who in defiance of President Obama’s healthcare program threatened to have Texas secede from the Union, in spite of Texas having the worst uninsured healthcare rate of any state in the country. He was a loud and vocal critic of the President’s stimulus program but then used the money to balance his state’s budget. This Born Again Christian allowed the execution of a likely innocent man when he could have intervened and then impeded the investigation into the matter. Then he gutted Texas childcare services even as Texas childcare poverty rate hit 25 percent. Born again? Yeah, but to what?
Michelle Bachman. There are way too many crazies that listen to this nut job. And how is it that people in her own party refuse to call out the hypocrisy of her family using federal dollars to do personal business and then refusing to talk about it? Besides, she has crazy eyes. This woman believes the Founding Forefathers were against slavery. You remember the Founding Forefathers which included Washington & Jefferson both of whom owned slaves, a few of which Jefferson himself fathered. The Founding Forefathers who stated slaves were only 3/5 of a man…yeah them. And don’t get me started on her closeted husband and his crazy reparative therapy program to turn gay people straight. What. You don’t think he’s gay? Have you seen this man? I offer this as evidence http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sFp0tnb7Wo come on that man is gayer than an Easter bonnet. He says gay people are “sinful barbarians” I say self-loathing dancing queen.
And speaking of self-loathing, what about Herman Cain the African-American Republican candidate. This man makes Steppin Fetchit look like Malcolm X. The only thing missing is a banjo. The man has never met a conservative white ass he didn’t immediately want to kiss. Mr. Crazy Pants has quite a few fanatical ideas about how the United States should be run. The former CEO of Godfather’s Pizza thinks radical Muslims are trying to infiltrate our government, Gay people have become too powerful and should be limited in their rights and African-Americans need to stop being victocrats get off welfare and get jobs. He refuses to criticize the GOP or the conservative movement for their lack of diversity and doesn’t think the Tea Party is racist. He just feels most African-Americans are too poor to attend their events. Thanks Herman, it’s good to know its money and not racism keeping African-Americans from the Tea Party. If elected he would only sign small bills…small as in 3 pages or less…ok. He wants to build a wall along the Mexican border but not just any wall he wants one modeled on the Great Wall of China complete with a moat filled with alligators. Typical conservative rhetoric, but it’s just weird hearing it coming from a Black man. Although that last one is just plain nuts.
Rick Santorum one of the few to sign the Marriage Pledge, along with Michelle Bachman and Mitt Romney. The pledge which seeks to deny marriage and civil unions to gay people and also states that black families were better off during slavery because there was a mother and father in the household…I’ll let that settle for a moment. Yep folks the National Organization for Marriage (NOM) headed by Maggie Gallagher, who to me looks like the skipper from Gilligan’s Island in drag, thinks that Black families were better off during slavery. Ahhh the good ole days of slavery, when you knew where to get a good meal & a nice warm cot to sleep on in a dank cold shack. When Black women endured nightly rapes by slave owners, men, women and children were traded off and sold like cattle, beaten and forced to live in inhumane conditions....good times. Yep he signed it and then tried to take it back.
Which leaves us with the aforementioned Mitt Romney, the Mormon and former Governor of Massachusetts. Yes the Mormons who until 1978 had a policy of excluding African-Americans from Priesthood and participation in temple ceremonies and in fact believed we had no souls. The same no coffee drinking, caffeine free, spirit prison, Negroes not entitled to the full blessing of the Gospel, multiple heaven having Mormons. The fact that this man is a Mormon may not be enough to disqualify him as a Presidential candidate for some but it’s enough for me. This is the same hypocrite who criticized President Obama’s healthcare program even though many say it was modeled after the one he created himself for Massachusetts and in the last election had trouble distinguishing between then Senator Barack Obama and known terrorist Osama Bin Laden.
Of course there are many, many more but I just don’t have the time or space to list them all and most of them are no longer serious contenders anyway, including the Thrilla from Wasilla, Sarah Palin. Considering the number of possible Republican candidates I guess a greater question to ask is, how many Republicans it takes to screw a President.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)