Busting Windows

Several weeks ago I attended the 19th annual Divas Simply Singing concert in Los Angeles. The Divas concert is a yearly benefit for HIV/Aids research and prevention hosted by Sheryl Lee Ralph. It’s a simple premise, one Diva accompanied by a pianist for one song for each Diva. The Benefit began as an effort by Ms. Ralph during a time when the African-American HIV/Aids community was being completely ignored even as celebrities like Elton John and Elizabeth Taylor were raising money, which largely funded White gay organizations. She likes to tell the story of how she was on Broadway in the early eighties when her male gay friends began to die off and no one did anything about it except to ignore the disease and to blame the men’s sexuality for causing their deaths. This was especially true in the African-American community and most notably in the Black churches. As the disease has grown to include more and more women, the focus of the concert has reflected the change and Ms. Ralph has continued the Divas Benefit as an effort to raise awareness of the disease and it’s affects on women of color.

This year the concert was preceded by a short film, starring Ms. Ralph of course, which told the story of a woman who had recently discovered her husband was cheating on her with another man. Her female friends who joined in a discussion of the problem surrounded her. There was quite a bit of male and gay male bashing contained in the dialogue and I was somewhat surprised by this tone coming from Ms. Ralph who has always been a strong supporter of the gay community. But as I’ve said the focus of this benefit has changed. However, it was what happened several Divas into the concert, which upset me most. Loretta Devine appeared with Ms. Ralph in the original Broadway production of Dreamgirls and usually performs at the benefit. This year Ms. Devine took the stage and before she began singing she stated, “This is for all the down low brothers out there.” The crowd responded by whooping, hollering and clapping their approval and I sat there stunned and wondering why anyone would applaud this behavior. Then the pianist began playing the intro to her song and Ms. Devine sang “I Bust The Windows Out Your Car”…the crowd went crazy. Jazmine Sullivan’s song tells the story of a woman wronged by a lover who then takes revenge on his car.

Now I’m all for busting the windows out of the car of a cheating lover and maybe even maiming a few body parts, I just think closer examination should be made of this phenomenon. This down low syndrome, this monster the black community loves to hate is one they created themselves by demonizing and vilifying homosexuality. The Black churches and the Christian faith in general teaches these men to hate themselves for who they are and not everyone is able to overcome this hatred and be true to themselves. And don’t be fooled the down low is nothing new and certainly is not exclusive to the Black community. The men who practice this lifestyle do so because they want to be accepted by society. Some of them think they can “overcome” their feelings by entering into marriage or relationships with women and some really do enjoy bisexuality. Most importantly though these men want what they were taught. They want the wife two kids, a family and the white picket fence just like everyone else and they may see the down low as their only means to achieve it. Unfortunately, these men have been taught to believe that for them coming out is not an option and many opt for suicide instead.

I’m not saying these men are completely innocent. There is no excuse for cheating and lying to your mate and everyone should be held accountable for his or her actions. When a partner is unknowingly exposed to any type of disease it’s simply wrong and any one who cheats and does so without using a condom is an obvious idiot. I’m just saying examine society’s role in this and the Black community in particular. Just look at the Divas benefit. When it was a benefit largely for men of color it was all but ignored by the Black population and largely supported by white West Hollywood gays. The show I attended recently had an audience that appeared to be mostly African-American heterosexual couples, a growing trend for the Divas concert in recent years.

So once it became a disease that affected African-American women black people got behind it to support Ms. Ralph’s efforts. It appears that as long as this was a disease that largely affected gay men, even gay men of color, our community chose to ignore it. But what has happened is that the disease has begun to affect woman of color and this is a direct result of the homophobia that permeates the Black community and although the Black churches are not solely responsible, they have created a climate of intolerance and should be held accountable for the role they play in spreading this homophobia. We have a responsibility to examine the reasons why African-American women are the most rapidly growing segment of those infected with the HIV virus and what we the African-American community can do to change it.