Busting Windows

Several weeks ago I attended the 19th annual Divas Simply Singing concert in Los Angeles. The Divas concert is a yearly benefit for HIV/Aids research and prevention hosted by Sheryl Lee Ralph. It’s a simple premise, one Diva accompanied by a pianist for one song for each Diva. The Benefit began as an effort by Ms. Ralph during a time when the African-American HIV/Aids community was being completely ignored even as celebrities like Elton John and Elizabeth Taylor were raising money, which largely funded White gay organizations. She likes to tell the story of how she was on Broadway in the early eighties when her male gay friends began to die off and no one did anything about it except to ignore the disease and to blame the men’s sexuality for causing their deaths. This was especially true in the African-American community and most notably in the Black churches. As the disease has grown to include more and more women, the focus of the concert has reflected the change and Ms. Ralph has continued the Divas Benefit as an effort to raise awareness of the disease and it’s affects on women of color.

This year the concert was preceded by a short film, starring Ms. Ralph of course, which told the story of a woman who had recently discovered her husband was cheating on her with another man. Her female friends who joined in a discussion of the problem surrounded her. There was quite a bit of male and gay male bashing contained in the dialogue and I was somewhat surprised by this tone coming from Ms. Ralph who has always been a strong supporter of the gay community. But as I’ve said the focus of this benefit has changed. However, it was what happened several Divas into the concert, which upset me most. Loretta Devine appeared with Ms. Ralph in the original Broadway production of Dreamgirls and usually performs at the benefit. This year Ms. Devine took the stage and before she began singing she stated, “This is for all the down low brothers out there.” The crowd responded by whooping, hollering and clapping their approval and I sat there stunned and wondering why anyone would applaud this behavior. Then the pianist began playing the intro to her song and Ms. Devine sang “I Bust The Windows Out Your Car”…the crowd went crazy. Jazmine Sullivan’s song tells the story of a woman wronged by a lover who then takes revenge on his car.

Now I’m all for busting the windows out of the car of a cheating lover and maybe even maiming a few body parts, I just think closer examination should be made of this phenomenon. This down low syndrome, this monster the black community loves to hate is one they created themselves by demonizing and vilifying homosexuality. The Black churches and the Christian faith in general teaches these men to hate themselves for who they are and not everyone is able to overcome this hatred and be true to themselves. And don’t be fooled the down low is nothing new and certainly is not exclusive to the Black community. The men who practice this lifestyle do so because they want to be accepted by society. Some of them think they can “overcome” their feelings by entering into marriage or relationships with women and some really do enjoy bisexuality. Most importantly though these men want what they were taught. They want the wife two kids, a family and the white picket fence just like everyone else and they may see the down low as their only means to achieve it. Unfortunately, these men have been taught to believe that for them coming out is not an option and many opt for suicide instead.

I’m not saying these men are completely innocent. There is no excuse for cheating and lying to your mate and everyone should be held accountable for his or her actions. When a partner is unknowingly exposed to any type of disease it’s simply wrong and any one who cheats and does so without using a condom is an obvious idiot. I’m just saying examine society’s role in this and the Black community in particular. Just look at the Divas benefit. When it was a benefit largely for men of color it was all but ignored by the Black population and largely supported by white West Hollywood gays. The show I attended recently had an audience that appeared to be mostly African-American heterosexual couples, a growing trend for the Divas concert in recent years.

So once it became a disease that affected African-American women black people got behind it to support Ms. Ralph’s efforts. It appears that as long as this was a disease that largely affected gay men, even gay men of color, our community chose to ignore it. But what has happened is that the disease has begun to affect woman of color and this is a direct result of the homophobia that permeates the Black community and although the Black churches are not solely responsible, they have created a climate of intolerance and should be held accountable for the role they play in spreading this homophobia. We have a responsibility to examine the reasons why African-American women are the most rapidly growing segment of those infected with the HIV virus and what we the African-American community can do to change it.

NFL Rushing

In case you haven’t heard Rush Limbaugh has made a bid to the NFL to purchase the St. Louis Rams. Now I could comment on the complete hypocrisy on what appears to be a blatant ploy for publicity by my favorite Right Wingnut bigot or how Rush Limbaugh could finally fulfill his lifelong dream of owning a stable of Black men or even discuss the absolute absurdity of NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell even considering such an offer but instead I thought I’d let Rush speak for himself by offering my Top Ten Rush Limbaugh Racist Quotes (shout out to News One). Number ten is my all time favorite.

1. The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.
2. Have you ever noticed how all composite pictures of wanted criminals resemble Jesse Jackson?
3. They’re 12 percent of the population. Who the hell cares?
4. Take that bone out of your nose and call me back (to an African American caller on his show)
5. I think the media has been very desirous that a black quarterback do well. They’re interested in black coaches and black quarterbacks doing well. I think there’s a little hope invested in McNabb and he got a lot of credit for the performance of his team that he really didn’t deserve.
6. In "Obama's America: white kids getting beat up on school buses now
7. Look, let me put it this way: the NFL all too often looks like a game between the Bloods and the Crips without any weapons. There, I said it.
8. They oughtta change Black History Month to Black Progress Month and start measuring it.
9. You know who deserves a posthumous Medal of Honor? James Earl Ray (Dr. King's assassin). We miss you, James. Godspeed."
10. Let's face it, we didn't have slavery in this country for over 100 years because it was a bad thing. Quite the opposite: Slavery built the South. I'm not saying we should bring it back. I'm just saying it had its merits. For one thing, the streets were safer after dark.

In addition Limbaugh has called President Obama a “halfrican American”, called him an “affirmative action candidate”, in spite of the fact that he graduated magna cum laude from Harvard University and he regularly plays a song on his radio show called “Barack the Magic Negro”.

‘Nuff Said?

Prize Haters

Well it didn’t take long. Just mere hours after President Obama was awarded the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize his critics were on the attack. Before he had a chance to even acknowledge the award the HNIC for the RNC, Michael Steele had already released a statement. Steele said, “What has President Obama actually accomplished? It is unfortunate that the president’s star power has outshined tireless advocates who have made real achievements working towards peace and human rights." I hope he’s not including himself and his fellow Republicans in that list of “tireless advocates”. Seriously Mr. Steele what’s wrong with congratulating a brother and you might want to watch your back anyway. Your fellow Republicans are not too happy with you and some of your statements. Obama’s critics charge that he has done nothing to deserve this award or that he has received it prematurely but let me offer this tidbit from Alfred Nobel creator of the Nobel Peace Prize. He said the prize was awarded “to the person who shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations…and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses.” Members of the Norwegian Nobel Committee stated that the choice of Obama could be seen as an early vote of confidence intended to build global support for his policies.

The bottom line is this in a little less than 9 months Barack Obama has changed the world view of the United States of America. Under George Bush’s administration and policies we had gone from a respected world power viewed as leaders of the free world to a despised nation known more for torturing suspected terrorists and invading countries using false allegations of terrorism and claims of hoarding weapons of mass destruction. Leaders of the free world were all too happy to see George W. Bush go and are encouraged by Obama’s efforts. In part the Nobel Peace citation reads "Obama has as President created a new climate in international politics," and "Multilateral diplomacy has regained a central position”. So it seems the prize was awarded not so much for what he has done but for his intentions and for what he hopes to accomplish.

Of course critics of President Obama view the awarding of the prize much differently. However, they remain as hypocritical as ever. Just last week Rush Limbaugh lauded the IOC decision to name Rio de Janeiro over Chicago as the site for the 2016 Olympics. He stated “the world has rejected Obama”. He also stated He was “gleeful” and “happy” to see America lose the bid and that it was an indication the world has had enough of Obama’s star power. On Friday referring to the Nobel Prize Limbaugh stated the committee’s decision was “a bigger embarrassment than losing the Olympic bid”. Make up your mind Rush. Political commenter Alan Dershowitz told ABCNews.com that he doesn't believe the Noble Peace Prize holds much clout anymore. "I think this is a prize that is overvalued, I don't think it's such a great honor these days to get the prize," he said. Glenn Beck suggested there was some conspiracy involving President Obama and the Nobel Committee in awarding the prize. He said, “the Nobel Peace Prize should be turned down by Obama and given to the tea baggers and the 9/12 project.” Right. Obama is the first sitting President to receive this award since Woodrow Wilson in 1919. So what happened to America first?

Finally, this from Wikipedia which I know isn’t always a reliable source of information but in this case I think they got it right. It says in part “Unlike the other Nobel Prizes, which recognize completed scientific or literary accomplishment, the Nobel Peace Prize may be awarded to persons or organizations that are in the process of resolving a conflict or creating peace."So again, Obama was awarded the prize not for what he has accomplished but for the tone he has set for the international community. This award is not something President Obama campaigned for in fact he was as surprised as anyone upon hearing the news. He said, “I do not view it as a recognition of my own accomplishments, but rather as an affirmation of American leadership on behalf of aspirations held by people in all nations”. As the Nobel Committee said a vote of confidence for what he may be able to accomplish. As for the Conservative haters they might want to take a cue from their fellow Republican and former Obama Presidential rival Senator John McCain who upon hearing of the award said, “I can't divine all their intentions, but I think part of their decision-making was expectations."

Just Say No

National Coming Out Day is this coming Sunday so I might as well go on and admit it. So here goes. I watch Reality TV. Whew, that took a lot but I feel better. Yes I watch Reality TV and although I must admit that I prefer the competition shows more like The Amazing Race and Top Chef I’ve been known to indulge in some shows based on the lives of Stars or Pre-fabricated Stars. Which brings me to Frankie and Neffe. OH…MY…GOD! What can I say? In the past I have berated my family and friends for watching shows like The Flava of Love and I Love New York so just admitting that I was even aware of this train wreck is a true coming out. My problem with these shows is that there is no balance. They promote negative stereotypes without including any positive role models. I’m all for laughing at ourselves but when others watch these shows we have to ask, “are they laughing with us or at us?” Why should we care? Because these people take this negativity with them and it shapes their employment practices, public policies and opinions. That being said, have you seen this show? Let me bring you up to date.

Frankie and Neffe are respectively the mother and sister of R&B singer Keyshia Cole and originally appeared on her TV show, The Way It Is. The first time we see Neffe, she and friends come from Oakland to Atlanta for a visit with Keyshia. Neffe spends the entire episode drunk loudly cursing people out in grocery stores, clothing stores and wherever she saw fit. At this point she is the mother of three girls and separated from her husband who is currently dating one of her cousins. We meet Frankie as Keyshia visits her at a state prison facility in California where she is serving time for some drug related offense. We also learn that she has been a crack addict for over 20 years and gave all of her seven or eight (I can’t remember) kids up for adoption, including Keyshia & Neffe. Frankie is eventually released from jail and she and Neffe along with Neffe’s kids join Keyshia permanently in Atlanta. For two seasons the two of them sponge off of Keyshia, Neffe cries, buffoonery ensues, Neffe cries, they meet some of the kids Frankie gave up for adoption, Frankie complains and wants to know why everyone blames her for everything, Neffe has another baby and oh yeah she cries.

Move ahead a few seasons and Frankie and Neffe have their own show. Now I must admit I missed the first few episodes because I was being high minded and refused to continue to watch this trash. But curiosity won out and I gave in a couple of weeks ago. Both Frankie and Neffe now have their own places, paid for by Keyshia, where these grown ass women are exerting their independence and just learning to become responsible adults for the first time in their lives. Some how Neffe and one of Frankie’s “found kids” have become best friends. Neffe calls her Sister and I’m not sure if it’s because she doesn’t know her name, doesn’t like it or thought this would be an endearing way of addressing her. Because they look so much alike, Neffe is convinced they have the same father a fact Frankie is unable to verify. So they schedule a DNA test. Oh yeah, even though she has been pregnant four times already and is on absolutely no form of birth control, Neffe is surprised to learn she is pregnant yet again (she cries). This time by her deadbeat, leeching, wanna be 36 year-old rapper boy friend who upon learning she is pregnant suddenly finds God and is appalled by the idea of an abortion even though he already has numerous kids he’s not raising. Frankie’s 50 something year-old ass is running around with boys 30 years younger than her in an embarrassing and pathetic bid to recapture her youth. She shows up at the DNA paternity test loud, belligerent and from what I can tell on something. She at first denies the two sisters have the same father and then says she doesn’t know and ask, “Why can’t they just let go of the past?” and “why does everyone blame her for everything?”

Now it may be true that every family has a Frankie and Neffe but it’s also true that we don’t talk about them to others and we certainly don’t want them televised nationally. Remember that rule your grandmother taught you about not airing dirty laundry? So what is Keyshia Cole’s motivation? Can you say Executive Producer? BET’s excuse is that they are “portraying a show about growth of its characters”. Really. The only thing I see growing on Neffe is her belly from her five pregnancies and as for, Frankie she continually refuses to accept blame for her mistakes, which prevents both her and Neffe from moving on with their lives. What appears to be growing with these two, as with most wanna be celebrity reality stars is their egos and the value they place on their self-importance. Seriously, these people at BET, VH1, Bravo and the rest have got to be stopped with these programs that portray Black folks as illiterate, money hungry, sex-driven caricatures of a reality based on what White people think of us and we have got to stop watching them. I mean what’s next a show based on the hilarious misadventures of the incoherent wives of T.I and Lil’ Wayne?…Oh wait.

Who’s the Victim?

So they finally caught up with him. I’d like to say I thought long and hard about this one but it’s not true, I didn’t. I remember when in 1977 Roman Polanski was convicted of the rape of a 13-year-old girl and I remember how he escaped to France after being found guilty. Polanski had made a deal with the D.A. where he would have been sentenced to only the 42 days he had served under psychiatric evaluation. The reason he fled? Because he had heard the judge was going to renege on his deal and sentence him to more time. I also remember discussing it with my friends and the outrage we felt that he had been allowed to escape in the first place. Our thinking at the time was that if your average Joe were convicted of the same crime he never would have received bail in the first place. Forget 1977, that wouldn’t happen today. Case in point. In 2003 an African-American, Genarlow Wilson then 17, had consensual oral sex with a girl who was 15 at the time. He was convicted of aggravated child molestation and sentenced to 10 years in prison…I’ll let that sink in for a minute. He spent two years behind bars before the Georgia Supreme Court overturned his case. Polanski was 30 years older than his victim at the time of his conviction and spent 42 days under psychiatric evaluation!

I’m not sure whether racism or class distinction is at play here but something’s not right. Now Whoopi Goldberg, who I usually agree with on most things, says, “it wasn’t rape-rape” but instead “unlawful intercourse with a minor”. Let’s see Polanski was originally charged with giving the 13-year-old victim champagne and Quaaludes, taking nude photographs of her and forcibly having both oral and anal sex with her even though she repeatedly told him no. Regardless of him pleading to a lesser crime, he has admitted to doing all of this. Not rape? I’m sorry Whoopi, but with one statement you managed to make Sherri Shepherd, the woman who was unsure of the earth’s shape, look like the intelligent one on The View. He then fled to Europe where for the last 30 years he has been living the life being touted as a cinematic genius and traveling freely from country to country. Well he may be a cinematic genius, in fact I personally think Chinatown is one of the greatest movies ever made, but he is also a convicted child molester and rapist. Whoopi went on to say, "I think he's sorry. I think he knows it was wrong. I don't think he's a danger to society." Umm, okay. (Feel free to insert your own snarky comment here).

To be honest it’s not just Whoopi but all of Hollywood that seems to be out of touch with reality. Harvey Weinstein of the Weinstein Company has started a petition being circulated among Hollywood elite demanding the release of Polanski. The name at the top of the list is Woody Allen. You remember him, he married the adopted daughter of his long time girlfriend after she found nude photos he had taken of her. (You’d think Woody would be smart enough to take a pass on this one). Weinstein is not convinced public opinion is running against the filmmaker and dismisses the categorization of Hollywood as amoral. He said Polanski is a “humanist” and a victim of a “miscarriage of justice”. He also had this to say, "Hollywood has the best moral compass, because it has compassion". "We were the people who did the fundraising telethon for the victims of 9/11. We were there for the victims of Katrina and any world catastrophe." Wow! And all this time I thought I had compassion and my moral compass was held within…silly me.

The bottom line is this. Hollywood is attempting to portray Polanski as a victim because the deal he made with the D.A. was not going to be upheld. But let’s be honest. He pled guilty to the lesser crime of having sex with a minor for which he was never sentenced and he then fled the country. Which makes him a fugitive from justice. And although the victim of this crime accepted a “settlement” from Mr. Polanski and has since stated she wants all charges against him dropped, she is still the victim, not Polanski. How would any of us feel if he had done this to our daughter, sister or niece and gotten away with it? How about bringing his ass back here and let him face a judge and see what he says. I think the judge should be Genarlow Wilson. He certainly has an idea of what true American justice feels like.