An Uncomfortable Truth

The problems with acceptance of homosexuality in the African-American community are rooted in the Black church but most definitely are fueled by the media’s portrayal of gay men on TV and film. The recent spate of gay teen suicides promoted by bullying is a direct result of these portrayals. As a great number of these teens have been African-American this problem must be addressed by our community. Gay men are portrayed as weak, effeminate, sex crazed, man hungry predators who will steal your man from you. Just ask Oprah Winfrey who as recently as last week continues to sensationalize and promote hysteria through inaccuracies of the “Down Low” syndrome where secretive self-loathing African-American gay men are said to prey and spread disease to unsuspecting heterosexual African-American women. These shows do nothing to forward the conversation or accurately report the facts or even speak to the pressure of trying to fit into the norm of a heterosexual relationship brought on by religious condemnation and societal hatred. They ignore the fact that our culture of masculinity practically demands these men deny who they truly are for fear of rejection and isolation which leads to the down low in the first place. Shows like Oprah Winfrey’s only add to the demonization of gay men in our culture. A demonization passed on to our youth who bully and torment those they are taught to perceive as weak and different.

Spoiler alert. A diverse gay culture exists just like that of any ethnic culture. It’s not all Will & Grace and Rupaul’s Drag Race. There are masculine gay men, feminine queens, androgynous men & women, butch women, lipstick lesbians, cross dressers and those transitioning from men to women or vice versa. There are high, middle and low income gay people. Some are educators, white collar and blue collar workers and you more than likely work with a gay person everyday and may not know it. But isn’t that how it should be? Not all gay people are artistic fashion mavens and get this, just like there are some Black people who are ashamed or even horrified that the ‘Flava Flav’s of the world and his girl Miss “New York” exist there are those in the gay community who are just as appalled by the flamboyant overtly feminine men found on shows like the Real Housewives of Atlanta or the degrading minstrel gay images found in Tyler Perry films. These people do not represent the entire gay culture anymore than ‘Lil Wayne and his sagging pants represent all African-Americans.

The media is responsible for throwing all gays into the same basket. But guess what, just because a man prefers a man to a woman doesn’t mean he'd necessarily want to put on a dress and just because he likes to wear a dress doesn't mean he prefers the company of butch women and not all lesbians want to assume the role of a man...diversity. Not all gay teens can relate to effeminate bitchy queens and a more balanced and positive portrayal of gays in the media should be demanded. It’s easier to laugh at an African-American gay man wearing heels and carrying a purse yet these images send a message to our youth and bullies that being gay is wrong and something to laugh at. No matter what anyone may tell you words hurt and the images conjured up with hateful speech are meant to brutalize. Anyone who has ever been called a sissy or a faggot can attest to that.

Believe it or not there are gay men and women who lead normal lives, get up and go to work each day and maintain healthy enduring relationships and these are the images to which our youth, straight and gay need to be exposed, if for no other reason than to combat the sense of helplessness and feeling lost and alone. I’ve been there and I know that feeling of insecurity and desperation and believe me, without the proper support group or positive role models, it often times leads one to prefer suicide as an option to living.

The Really Delusional Housewives of Atlanta

Ok so the really bitchy, low class, ghetto acting, embarrassing and from what I can tell only two of which are actually married, Real Housewives of Atlanta are back and just as tacky as ever. And I gotta say over the break someone should have purchased a Rosetta Stone English CD for NeNe as a matter of fact for the entire cast, “get ya finga out ma face”… Really? At any rate things haven’t changed much for the girls from the ATL. Sheree is still in a fantasy world regarding her ability to do anything of substance and says that now acting is her passion (what happened to She by Sheree?) NeNe is still a big bully or as Kim likes to call her a big moose, and speaking of Kim not only is she still trailer park trashy she apparently is now “gay for pay” and Kandi still looks like she doesn’t belong on the show. However I’m convinced she is the only one capable of taking on NeNe and I look forward to her one day whooping the big broad’s ass and I gotta ask, are we sure NeNe isn’t a drag queen? I mean have you seen the size of those feet and I could swear I caught her act at the Catch One circa 1996. There are two new members of the cast but we have only met one so far. She’s a pregnant attorney married to an ex convict and says things like “I want my kids to have traditional names”. Yeah traditional like her name, Phaedra and her husband’s Apollo. She’s convinced he loves her because he signed a prenup… I’m not so sure I’d want this woman in charge of my legal affairs.

So let’s recap episode 1 season 3. Apparently NeNe’s husband has out lasted his usefulness to her. In her mind because of her “celebrity” status she can make money on her own and no longer needs her sugar daddy...or the stripper pole. In typical NeNe fashion she picks a public fight with Dwight and makes a huge scene and thus the famous quote to Dwight, “get ya finga out ma face”...classy. The whole time Kim and Sheree are following behind her instigating...made me want to see someone slap the shit out of both of them. And speaking of Dwight where in the world would this Stunt Queen get $30,000 to give Sheree and another $10,000 for NeNe’s husband? Is he printing his own money with his face on it? Maybe he has one of those money trees I dreamed of as a child. You gotta love when he tore up NeNe’s check and told her he wanted cash, he truly is the definition of a Drama Queen. Something’s obviously up with him and NeNe’s man because Mr. Greg is not as innocent as he wants to appear, he’s hiding something. Kim had a sex talk with her 13 year old daughter and said she hopes her daughter shares her morals and values…Really? Evidently sleeping with married men for money is the height of moral in Kim’s world…and valuable. At any rate someone should teach her daughter how to chew with her mouth closed…disgusting.

As usual Sheree is busy being all kinds of stupid. As previously noted it appears that she has given up on her “passion” of a clothing line and has now focused her attention on her “passion” for acting…and her first Oscar. Yes…Oscar. The woman’s levels of delusion and self importance are unbelievable. How about getting a job to support yourself and your children and by the way how did that eight figure settlement from your ex husband turn out? Someone please let Kandi know that her Fantasia redo hair don’t is not working…just makes her look like she’s trying way too hard. So since the death of her fiancée, she’s decided to try being celibate for a year or celivat as her new boyfriend says. He just wants to ensure that celibacy doesn’t include oral sex to which she quickly agrees. Did we need to know that? And what happened to that new CD of hers? Did it come and go already? So far the role of the new housewife we’ve met, Phaedra, appears to be to trash NeNe and be BFF to Dwight. She grew up with NeNe and it’s apparent that they have some ugly history together, so we may be let in on some dirty little secrets about NeNe but she better watch her back with Dwight and make sure she doesn’t share any of her own secrets with him…lest they become real public. She also has no trouble telling the camera what she’s wearing and how much it cost…again classy.

Congratulations to Dwight as it seems his drama queen antics and permanent residence at the corner of Catty Street and Shady Avenue have landed him a role as an unofficial Atlanta Housewife. Looks like a lot of this season’s drama will revolve around him. Maybe he’ll earn enough money from the show to loan to Sheree to aid in her quest for Oscar gold after which I hear she has plans to find a cure for cancer…just delusional!

Imagination

Imagine growing up in a world where your natural sexual attraction to others is called "sin"! Imagine the toll it takes on self-image and self-esteem. Imagine the little boy or little girl who cried themselves to sleep each night hurting from the taunting and bullying from the other kids because they were different. Imagine awakening everyday and knowing the bigotry you faced yesterday has not gone away and you still have to cope with the same hardships you dealt with before. Imagine having to hide who you are from your coworkers and friends for fear of reprisal. Imagine your family and those dearest to you turning their backs on you and imagine the resulting feelings of isolation, loneliness, hurt and depression... imagine feeling unloved. Imagine wanting to be “normal” and trying to fit in. Imagine finally accepting yourself for who you are and then having to refer to the person you love as your partner or life mate or even roommate. Imagine being a full grown adult capable of making decisions for yourself and then having those decisions made for you by a "moral majority"...Now imagine yourself asking, who would “CHOOSE” such a life?

Mammie Dearest (The Pledge)

Ok, I’ve got a great idea for a movie. An African-American woman is trapped in a loveless marriage to a white collar Black man who beats her, has no Christian values and cheats on her with a woman lacking the same moral values. There is another man, a blue collar worker who believes Jesus Christ is his Lord and savior and is only looking for a good woman to settle down with but she can’t she him through her tear stained eyes. That is until a gun-toting, foul mouthed mammie looking cross-dressing Black man spewing Christian rhetoric dances in to point out the obvious prompting her to fall head over heels in love. Throw in some incest, sexual abuse and a bit of homophobia and we have a great movie, right? Oh wait…Tyler Perry has already done this…like about a hundred times.

There is a scene in Mr. Perry’s current film, “Why Did I Get Married Too”, where Janet Jackson’s character is going through a divorce from her husband and decides to attack his “manhood” by delivering a drag queen stripper cake to him to embarrass him in front of his co-workers. She then taunts him telling him “you want to act like a bitch, ok here’s your bitch”.
This scene is important because it points out Tyler Perry’s exploitation of his audience. He knows he can play to the homophobia of his mostly Black church audience by ridiculing gay men as outrageously feminine freaks that any “moral minded respectable heterosexual” would find an amusing and embarrassing spectacle. The same can be said of his constant use of incest and sexual abuse in his movies as any “Good Christian” can relate to the immorality and sinful behavior of these characters.

Ok so Mr. Perry knows his audience and is probably giving them what they want or at least his idea of faith-based messages (even though the message is somewhat hypocritical coming from a man who dresses in women’s clothing). But what about some positive portrayals of Black men. Even though his audience is all too willing to see them, his portrayal of Black men as incestuous, abusive, Black woman batterers or overtly feminine queens is not only insulting but rather depressing and I for one am sick of it. This man has the power to present images rarely seen onscreen whether it be TV or the movies and both are mediums he controls with his entertainment empire. On TV it’s the same thing. His African-American male characters are shucking and jiving, loud talking, overweight, ignorant ridiculously dressed buffoons. How about some encouraging stories of African-American couples and their families? Not necessarily the Huxtables but we’re not all the Evans clan from the Good Times either. Success does not necessarily breed evil as Mr. Perry’s films suggest. What about some stories featuring positive portrayals of masculine African-American gay men in sustaining relationships which don’t reinforce the homophobia of the black church?

By pandering to the lowest denominator of our culture and offering such a narrow point of view, Tyler Perry presents a disservice to the African-American community as a whole and we deserve so much more. My pledge is to no longer support his films in their current state but realistically, I don’t expect them to change.

National Treasure

If I walked into Yosemite National Park and dropped a match or if I went to Yellowstone plugged up old faithful then drove to Mount Rushmore and drew a Hitler mustache on George Washington’s face I’d be arrested right? What if I went to Graceland and blew it up? There would be lynch mobs out to get me right? So I ask you, why has an arrest warrant not been issued for Whitney Houston? By spending years in a drug induced haze smoking God knows how much crack or whatever the drug of her choice may be the woman has destroyed the golden voice considered a National Treasure by many. If you haven’t heard or seen the You Tube videos of her shows in Europe or Australia save yourself the heartache. Not only can she no longer hit the notes she doesn’t even sound like the same person.

Now you may say it’s her voice and she has the right to do with it as she pleases but I say she gave up any such rights long ago when she accepted the role of America’s sweetheart. For years Whitney cultivated this wholesome all American girl next door image. Whether true or not this was the image she sold to America and we all bought into it. An image all but destroyed from the moment she met one Bobby Brown. Speaking of Mr. Brown I’m not saying he’s completely at fault as Whitney has a mind of her own but he at least should be charged as an accessory. We should have realized something was wrong when she attempted to rewrite history with her claim of Bobby being the original king of R&B (she should have been incarcerated for that statement alone) or when Diane Sawyer showed up at her house and she made the infamous crack is whack statement. And don’t get me started on her role on that mess of a reality TV show Being Bobby Brown. For whatever reason Whitney cold-heartedly calculated to destroy her image and become the Bonnie to Bobby’s Clyde which was fine and good for gossip and tabloid fodder but then she messed with the voice and folks America, no the world is not having it.

Now she’s decided to clean herself up and she’s out there touring the world with this “new” voice which sounds suspiciously like Louis Armstrong to me. The problem is that although you can change or even clean up your image once you’ve ruined the tool which made you famous there’s nothing left for us to treasure. This newly liberated and recovering Diva, free of Bobby Brown and according to her free of drugs has arrived and people have been treated to a train wreck tour of delays, disappearances and to that voice…no thanks, I prefer my Divas demanding, selfish and outrageous but always possessing the qualities that made them Divas in the first place which in this case would be her voice. And I don’t want excuses, respiratory infections or lengthy wardrobe changes I just want the voice. If I can’t have it live in concert or with newly recorded material I’ll just listen to her classics. But consider this fair warning, if she’s not going to be charged and arrested, the next time you hear what you think is Satchmo wheezing his way through a version of I Will Always Love You, listen closely it’s probably Whitney.

White Washing

When I first heard about the new Arizona immigration law I was appalled. The very idea that an American citizen could be pulled over by a policeman for no reason and forced to provide proof of citizenship is so 1930’s Nazi Germany and even apartheid era South Africa. The weekend the bigoted Governor of Arizona signed this law into effect we had company over and in discussion I was practically alone in my assessment that this law was put in place to target people of color. In support of their argument for this law people trotted out the same old “we gotta do something about all the illegal immigrants” to which I agreed. We need legislation to combat the affects of illegal immigrant on our economy. However, to target someone based on what they look like is out and out racial profiling. And to make it into a law is nothing less than Institutionalized Racial Profiling. How dare they assume that based on someone’s ethnicity they may be in this country illegally and that assumption alone is enough to harass them. You can be sure there will be no stopping of Irish, Italian, German or even Canadian immigrants by Arizona law enforcement. By turning us against each other, white America has succeeded in convincing minorities that we should view one as better than the other. If they start by going after the Latinos, what’s to stop them from targeting us next? Well guess what? That same bigoted racist governor of Arizona just signed another law.

The new law makes it illegal to teach ethnic study courses in Arizona public schools. The reason? State schools chief Tom Horne says these programs teach minorities that they are oppressed by white people…yeah, he actually said that. I don’t know about you but growing up I never needed a special course to teach me of this oppression, I saw it every day and quite frankly I don’t think things have changed all that much so the students of today see it as well. Horne, a Republican running for attorney general, also said that ethnic study programs promote "ethnic chauvinism" and racial resentment toward whites. Where did this man come from?

According to the Tucson Unified School District, which is the main target of Mr. Horne’s attack, they offer specialized courses in African-American, Mexican-American and Native-American studies that focus on history and literature and include information about the influence of these particular ethnic groups on American history. But with this new law they will no longer be able to include African-American slavery, the Jim Crow laws of the south, the occupation and eventual conquering of various Native-American tribes, the original Latin-American settlers or the contributions of any of these ethnic groups to the building of this nation. How is this a true teaching of American history? It seems as though the state of Arizona wants to literally “white wash” American history.

This is only the beginning folks and there is definitely a movement taking place. As white Americans face the realization of becoming the minority in this country, they are fighting to maintain political dominance. Just like Nazi Germany this movement targets a popular criticism and builds from there. For the Nazi’s it was the persecution of homosexuals which led to the same for Jews. For the Tea Party and those akin to their ideology it begins with illegal immigration and ethnic studies. Who and what will they target next?

A Conversation

My boss just copied me on an email he sent out. The email reads “Obituary, Born 1776, died 2008” and shows a picture of the United States embossed with RIP and President Obama dressed as the Grim Reaper. The email goes on to blame President Obama for all of America’s current woes and includes the following “facts”:

Number of States won by: Obama: 19 McCain: 29
Square miles of land won by: Obama: 580,000 McCain: 2,427,000
Population of counties won by: Obama: 127 million
McCain: 143 million
Murder rate per 100,000 residents in counties won by:
Obama: 13.2 McCain: 2.1

It also states the following:

"In aggregate, the map of the territory McCain won was mostly the land owned by the taxpaying citizens of the country. Obama territory mostly encompassed those citizens living in low income tenements and living off various forms of government welfare..."

I should state that my boss is a White man and although I have always been aware of his conservative politics we’ve enjoyed an amicable relationship. Still, I’m confused as to why he would include me in this email and I’m pissed off because now I have to have a “conversation” with him. Perhaps it was a mistake and I shouldn’t have been included at all and when I speak with him he may be totally surprised that I received the email. But what if he sent it on purpose? As I stated before I’ve always been aware of his point of view as he has been quite vocal of his displeasure with President Obama, illegal immigrants and any Liberal minded views. In fact we did have a conversation during the election of 2008 where he made it very clear how he felt about Democrats in general and I was sure I made my views clear as well. But afterwards I chose to ignore him and now I’ve begun to question myself…have I gone soft?

By not wanting to rock the boat have I in some way given this man the idea that I agree with him or he can say or do anything he wants around me? What if somehow in all my years of working in Corporate America I have become complacent let down my guard and allowed others to view me as insignificant or not see me at all? I’m not saying I should go all Huey Newton on the man but if in my efforts to maintain a cordial working environment I have in anyway contributed to this perhaps I need to be more vocal. Like I said earlier, my boss and I enjoy a great relationship in fact this is my second time working for him. But what if he’s some closet racist who sends out those bigoted cartoons and depictions of President Obama as Hitler and the devil? What if this man is not only conservative but also secretly a White Supremacist? How well do I really know him, I mean these emails may have been going on for some time before I was included, right? The end of the email instructs you to “pass this along to help everyone realize how much is at stake, knowing that apathy is the greatest danger to our freedom.” Who exactly is everyone and what is at stake? Sounds like Tea Party speech to me. Have I somehow become privy to what goes on inside this movement?

Whatever, the fact is like I said earlier, I need to have a “conversation” with the man.

Pointless

Last weekend at the same time as the historic passing of President Obama’s Healthcare legislation something ugly was happening on the streets of our nation’s capitol as once again the Tea Party was on display brandishing their true colors proving the movement is full of racist homophobes. Crowds of angry Tea Baggers gathered outside the capital building in protest as the voting took place and taunted congressional representatives with verbal racial and homophobic slurs. House Majority Whip James Clyburn of South Carolina and Georgia Congressman John Lewis were called niggers. Protestors spit on Illinois Congressman Emanuel Cleaver and Representative Barney Frank of Massachusetts, who is openly gay, was called a faggot as the crowd of protesters erupted in laughter.

So what was the response from the Republican lawmakers who invited and incited these rabid protestors? They say they are isolated incidents…Hunh?? Isolated incidents, no condemnation for their actions, no apologies for their racist bigoted behavior and no denouncement of their vile acts. Instead out of fear of alienating these lunatics, which they plan on using in this years upcoming congressional races, they chose to defend them. California Republican Congressman Devin Nunes said, “Yeah, well I think that when you use totalitarian tactics, people, you know, begin to act crazy”. I assume he uses Totalitarian to mean majority rules and as a slight against the Democrats who lead both houses. Funny how this rule doesn’t apply when the majority decides to deny basic human rights to a group of minorities by passing Proposition 8 in his home state. Republican Congressman Steve King from Iowa stated, “I just don’t think it’s anything” and “There are a lot of places in this country that I couldn’t walk through. I wouldn’t live to get to the other end of it.” So because he’s apparently afraid to walk through Watts, United States Congressmen should buck up and take it on the chin when protestors spit on them and use racial and homophobic epithets.

The truth is these Tea Party demonstrators who claim they are energized in protest of government spending did not become energized until a Black man came to the White House. Where were they when the Bush administration was spending billions of dollars on a made up war? In fact the bill will reduce the Federal deficit by $143 billion over the next ten years. The irony is that a great majority of these protestors will in fact benefit from Healthcare legislation and will not be affected by the increase in taxes. I doubt that very many of them earn over $200,000 a year. A lot of these protestors who have been denied insurance based on pre-existing conditions will now become eligible to receive healthcare. And from the looks of the crowd of mostly seniors, they will now benefit additionally from the legislation. So what was the point of this protest and what of all things Obama will they choose to target next?

Tough Shit

I don’t know if you’ve ever had to apply for unemployment benefits but back in the day it was a pretty humiliating experience. Forced to stand in long lines and face invasive questioning from unemployment workers who acted as though you were a burden to their workload and day when in fact you were the very reason they had jobs. Forms had to be filled out and you had to keep a record of your job searches to submit weekly in order to maintain benefits you in fact had already earned. Anyway, nowadays it's a much more pleasant event and is mostly handled on line. But imagine this. Imagine you’ve suffered a job loss and you’ve applied on line. Imagine knowing that the small amount of money you receive from unemployment in no way will make ends meet. Imagine struggling to survive and the stress associated with calls from bill collectors unsympathetic to your plight. Imagine, as your bills pile up, this entire scenario taking place while you seek employment in a recessed economy. Then imagine what little you’ve come to expect from your unemployment benefits suddenly cut-off because one lone Republican Senator has decided he objects to a bill to pass a 30-day extension of jobless benefits and other expired measures, including health insurance assistance and funding for road and infrastructure projects across the country.

Kentucky Senator Jim Bunning is using that famous filibuster we’ve heard so much about in recent news or at least a variation of it and has been single-handedly blocking legislation since last Thursday thereby affecting over half a million people depending on the extension of benefits passing in order to survive. His objection includes demands that the Senate come up with a way to pay for the 30-day extension package by reducing spending elsewhere. Ok but in the meantime how do people pay their rent? What do people do about health insurance? And what about those currently working in jobs in infrastructure projects already begun across the country which have had to suspend workforces? This sadly, is just the latest attempt by the Republican Party to block all things Obama. The Republican party which claims to be that of the working people but I wonder how many Tea Baggers and other conservatives who claim to “want their country back” are affected by Senator Bunning’s irrational decision and how they feel about what it’s doing to our nations economy. Well Senator Bunning has certainly made his feelings clear. When pressed to acquiesce his refusal because of the affect it would cause to thousands of unemployed Americans and those who depend on Medicare he muttered “tough shit” under his breath.

Pissing Me Off

I don’t know, maybe I’ve officially become a “grumpy old man”, but lately small things that I wouldn’t have even given a passing thought before bug me more and more, especially at work. I share my office with a woman I call the Amazon. She’s six feet one at least 200 pounds and bleached blonde. More on her later. My desk in my office sits facing the hallway. I’m not sure why but every time someone passes by they have to look in…why? What the hell are you looking at? There’s an old fat white lady who waddles by my office every morning to get to her office and she finds it impossible to walk by without saying something as she goes by. This morning she said “ooh breakfast” because I was eating…shut the hell up old woman. She also sits in a big bullpen along with about 5 other people and whenever I walk into the room to talk to someone she says “hey good looking”…leave me alone you old bat!

How about this I’m working on something at my computer and some idiot walks in and stands there until I look up. Then they hand me something that they could have left in my in basket, which by the way I went out of my way to label “IN” in bold letters. It’s an in basket people USE IT! Or I’m on the phone, never mind that I’m probably talking to my mother (who by the way says “tell them you’re talking to your mother”) and someone says “Would it be okay if I asked you a question?” Sure, would it be okay if I put my foot up your ass?…leave me alone I’m on the phone asshole. Even as I type this now some idiot is standing in front of me waiting for me to finish so he can ask some stupid ass question. Seriously buddy, keep it moving. And by the way I am so sick of doing other people’s jobs because they’re inept, lazy or it would just take too much time to explain it to the idiot but if it means I don’t have to talk to them then I guess I’m the man. But I really want to twinkle my nose like Samantha from Bewitched and banish them to some cold dark airless hole.

I don’t understand, I used to be the life of the office party and even looked forward to them now I just make excuses to not attend. My office mate, the Amazon is always trying to get me to go out to lunch with her for what she calls her Tequila Tuesdays. I don’t want to get drunk with you crazy woman my tongue might get loose and I may end up telling you exactly what I think of your lazy, self-important, not showing up on time, constantly complaining, wanna be Farrah Fawcett ass. And by the way the baby doll dresses have got to go…YOU’RE TOO BIG WOMAN! And the pumps only make you look taller and bigger. Lord knows I don’t want to be in the vicinity for the 8.0 tremor sure to occur when the pressure of her 200 plus pounds causes one of those pump heels to collapse.

If I receive one more email requesting me to attend another meeting where the only thing we accomplish is setting a date for the next meeting I swear I’m gonna go postal on this place. And speaking of emails, how do I get theses idiots to STOP SENDING ME CHAIN LETTERS!! I don’t have time to read them and why do they have so much time on their hands anyway? Get some damn work done. Why aren’t you working on that project we discussed in our last useless meeting dumb ass? And I gotta ask what’s the deal with these people insisting I eat their homemade cookies and cakes. I don’t know you and I don’t know what your house or kitchen look like…but I do know you smell like old grey cheese, which leads me to think you might have animals crawling around your kitchen counter. Cookies? Uh…no thanks.

Lastly, I refuse to attend one more office baby shower, birthday or anniversary party. I DON’T KNOW YOU LIKE THAT and I’m not contributing to the damn fund to buy your ass a gift. You want to know what the fund got me for my last birthday? Homemade cookies from the old fat broad, which I tossed in the trash, on my way to lunch (by myself). And I’m sick of buying your bad ass kids stale ass fundraiser candy. What the hell? I got 5 grandkids of my own. I oughtta start making up fundraisers myself to save for their damn college educations. Maybe I am a grumpy old man but one thing I know for sure I would love to have Samantha stop by so she can twinkle her nose and put me on a nice tropical beach somewhere with an ice cold cocktail where I don’t have to deal with these crazies. Damn here comes the old fat broad.