A White Christmas

I’ve been a little busy lately and haven’t had a chance to write but that hasn’t stopped the always entertaining nonsensical world of bigoted conservatives from turning. In the spirit of the Christmas season right wing staple and the always “fair & balanced” FOX News in an apparent effort to continue the Republican Minority Outreach Program has declared to kids that both Santa Claus and Jesus Christ were “most definitely White”. This despite what those in what they constantly refer to as “the liberal media” may have them believe. Megyn Kelly a Fox News reporter was addressing an article written by Aisha Harris for Slate.com who wrote “just maybe Santa Claus doesn't have to be white all the time and maybe can be all things to all people. This apparently pissed Ms. Kelly off as with all the whiteness she could muster she went on a tirade declaring “for all you kids watching at home, Santa just is white. But this person may be just arguing that we should also have a black Santa. But, you know, Santa is what he is.” She argued that the origins of Santa Claus relate to St. Nicholas who she described as a White European 4th-Century Christian saint and told Ms. Harris that “Just because it makes you feel uncomfortable doesn't mean it has to change." Wow. Now putting aside the ridiculousness of the idea of arguing about one man with eight flying reindeer, one with a glowing red nose no less, delivering presents in one night to everybody on the planet, let’s just check the facts of the origins of the character.

While it is true that there was a St. Nicholas, he is far and removed from what we see as Santa Claus today. The real St. Nicholas, who the myth of Santa Claus is based on, was born in ancient Greece in a conquered territory which is now present day Turkey, and would likely have been a lot more brown or olive skinned than today's version. He certainly would not have been blue-eyed, lily white and rosy cheeked. So if Fox News and Ms. Kelly are arguing historical accuracy they have sorely failed. Anglo-Saxon Europeans took this Saint and incorporated pagan European beliefs and reimagined him to suit their own needs. As with most things, White America pounced on another opportunity to rewrite history (seriously Elizabeth Taylor as Cleopatra?) and capitalize on the myth, resulting in Santa as we in America know him today. A version of Santa by the way that has only existed in his current incarnation since the early to mid-1900's. What Megyn Kelly and Fox News are missing in their goal to stroke their old, white audience seeing all things through their limited scope of the world, is that there is no one true definition of the character of Santa Claus. Each country has their own definition of Santa Claus and each celebrates that character in drastically different ways. Brazil has Papai Noel, Portugal has Pai Natal, Italy Babbo Natale and other than the standard red suit and white beard, none of them resemble the version concocted by America’s Madison Avenue to sell toys. So, considering this amount of variation alone, there is likely an African Santa Claus that fits their countries regions and traditions. Santa Claus isn't a character that needs to be defined in a one size fits all kind of way. He can represent each country and their traditions and has already done so for hundreds of years in certain cases so why couldn’t he as Ms. Harris wrote, “be all things to all people”.

Unfortunately, Ms. Kelly didn’t limit her tirade with her version of the jolly old elf. Nope she felt the need to go one step further declaring to the kids who for some reason may have been tuned in to her 11 PM newscast instead of having their little asses in bed, “You know, Jesus was a white man, too!” Again, Wow! Seriously, she went on to state that it’s a “verifiable fact” that Jesus was white. Ok, I’m not gonna spend a whole lot of time on this one. Let me just say this, I know it may be hard for the Fox News team to relate to anything non-white but Jesus of Nazareth was most certainly dark skinned. He was born in Galileo which is modern day Palestine. Jesus of Nazareth was not white-skinned, he was not European, he was a Jew who lived in the land of Israel, IN THE MIDDLE EAST! There weren’t a whole lot of lily white people hanging around chilling out in the area at the time, so I’m willing to bet that he looked a lot more like me and less like the version you may have hanging on your wall depicting him as a pale blue-eyed, Abercrombie Fitch model with long flowing hair. And even if he wasn’t as black as Wesley Snipes you can be sure that if he were around today Fox News would have him on a terrorist watch list or worse yet label him a Marxist left wing liberal hippie and he would most certainly be “stopped and frisked” by the NYPD... seriously, hair like wool and feet which shone like bronze? C’mon Megyn.