The Dark Ages

It seems that there is a secret contest between Republican celebrities to see who can make the most stupid comment or perform the most bizarre act. This week it’s Chuck Norris, you remember him…well maybe not but he’s back and nutty as a fruit cake. Chuck and his wife have a video out where they offer helpful gems like, “Our great country and freedom are under attack" and “If President Obama is reelected, we will take the first step into 1,000 years of darkness."…the GOP sure has changed a lot since the "1,000 Points of Lights" days, they don’t seem to know if they want the lights on or off. In the infomercial video Chuck manages to squeeze in a couple of ads for his workout videos and a promotion for his new movie…nothing like offering up stupid ass statements to be used as marketing & promotional tools. Even dismissing the obvious coded darkness reference to our first African-American president, I can’t take this man seriously. He’s the same idiot who vigorously endorsed crazy pants Newt Gingrich up until he pulled out of the race after it became clear that even the zaniest right wing whacko wouldn't vote for him.

Anyway, I’m certain that we’re more likely to find 1,000 years of darkness under that ridiculous toupee Chuck sports in the video. Seriously, that thing is worse than Donald Trump’s comb over, was a hairstylist not included in the video budget? Wow, 1,000 years? No king or ruler in the history of man can be said to have brought about a thousand years of darkness but somehow President Obama will. That's one powerful black man. Not to be outdone, Chuck's latest wife (because you know he’s all heterosexual and shit and can marry as many wives as he damn well pleases) says she wants 30 million Evangelical Christians to go out and vote for Mitt Romney. So let me get this straight. She wants Christians to go out and vote for the guy who's religion doesn't accept Christ as their savior, doesn't believe in heaven or the Holy Trinity... oh wait he's white, my bad.

Vying for the crazy ass celebrity seeking attention award of the week is trailer park trash Hank Williams, Jr. Over the weekend Junior said, "We’ve got a Muslim for a President who hates cowboys, hates cowgirls, hates fishing, hates farming, loves gays, and we hate him." That’s a lot of presumptive hate Hank and that last line “and we hate him,” sounds like a 3 year-old throwing a temper tantrum. What in the world makes him think President Obama is so hateful and more importantly how does old Hank know the President hates fishing. Is it because he’s never seen him fish? Well Hank I’ve never seen you go to the restroom either so should I assume you’re anti-restroom and holding it in? I mean that would explain why you seem to be so full of shit. Remember when President Obama was being criticized for having connections to Jeremiah Wright, retired senior pastor of Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago, for his anti-American sermons. So the right wing wants to condemn President Obama for his Christian church connections, but also because he is a Muslim. I don’t know, I guess it depends on the time of day or something, I can’t keep up.

So the GOP offers up dumb and dumber who want us to believe there is a radical communist Christian Muslim terrorist in the White House and he’s intent on driving the country into darkness. You know with all his crazy socialist ideas like providing access to healthcare for all citizens, lowering taxes for low wage earners, stimulating the economy with jobs and offering help to the poor because as we all know, there’s absolutely nothing Christian like about that. The truth is these people are simply afraid of the inevitable. They see the country’s power structure changing and becoming more diverse and perceive it as a threat to their age old hold on supremacy...and they should.