Oh No He Didn’t

I’m sure by now everyone has heard the story of the woman who was put off the train because she was talking loudly on her cell phone in the car reserved for quiet. According to reports signs are clearly displayed throughout the car prohibiting cell phone usage and requesting passengers to remain as quiet as possible. When I heard the train had departed from Oakland, California I thought to myself, “please don’t let her be a Black woman”. Then I heard her name, Lakeysha Beard. Now I don’t know about you but I don’t know any white women named Lakeysha. But then I saw her being escorted off the train, pure ghetto from the outfit to the hair, and I imagined how the scene may have taken place.

Train Passenger: “Ma’am could you please get off your phone, this is the Quiet Car.”

Lakeysha (on the phone in an extremely loud voice): “ Oooh girl no he didn’t…he just told me I need to get off the phone”

Towanda: “Unh unh girl don’t let him disrespect you like that”

Lakeysha: “I know hunh.” (to the passenger) “don’t be disrespecting me and getting all up in my face. I will go off up in here.”

Train Passenger: “But ma’am this is the Quiet Car, no cell phones are allowed.”

Lakeysha: “You don’t tell me what to do, I am a grown ass woman. I will talk wherever I want to and you can kiss my ass.” To Towanda, “so anyway girl I told Trinesha girl don’t let yo’ man treat you like that and she said…wait a minute, this fool done went and got the Conductor.”

Train Conductor: “Excuse me Miss but you’ll have to either get off the phone or move to another car, cell phones are not allowed in the Quiet Car.”

Lakeysha (twisting her neck for emphasis): “I will hang up when I finish my conversation and you can both kiss my ass.” (mutters to herself) “Gone tell me what to do, shit I will light this motha up.” Turns her head and continues her conversation with Towanda.

Train Conductor: “Ma’am if you do not hang up I will have you removed from the train.”

Lakeysha: “Girl, no he didn’t.” (turns to face conductor) “You put yo’ hands on me and I will own Miss Amtrak and all her damn trains, now get out ma face fo’ I really go off on yo’ ass.”

The train conductor leaves and Lakeysha continues her conversation, loudly. A short time later the train comes to an abrupt halt and two uniformed police officers board and along with the conductor approach Lakeysha.

Lakeysha: “Towanda girl let me handle this, I’ll call you right back.”

Police Officer: “Come with us Miss, you’re under arrest.”

Lakeysha: “For what?”

Police Officer: “Disturbing the peace ma’am.”

And for the first time in nearly 16 hours Miss Lakeysha Beard is silent and led off the train and a round of applause is heard from the Quiet Car.

Fried Chicken & Black Panthers

You know when I heard that the conservative right was up in arms over the invitation extended to rapper Common to attend a White house Celebration of the Arts earlier this week I considered the source and thought I’d move on. I mean they act like the First lady invited a bunch of gangsta rappers who were gonna show up with saggin’ pants, bandanas, throwing up gang signs and grabbing their crotches. Really, as far as rappers go, you couldn’t get much safer than Common without extending an invite to Will Smith. At any rate he’s certainly not the “vile rapper” described by Fox News, come on last year the man starred opposite Queen Latifah in a romantic comedy or fantasy or whatever it was because really how believable was that one but we’ll save that for another debate. Anyway, this is the same Fox News who just six months ago was praising Common and saying he is a role model for kids. Of course Sarah Palin “selectively quoted” two lines from one of Common’s poems directed at former President Bush where he said “burn a Bush for peace”…wow somebody call the radical police. In the same poem Common also says “tell the law, my Uzi weighs a ton.” By the way am I the only one who remembers when NWA rapper Easy E, who wrote violent lyrics against police as a hobby, was invited to a White House event hosted by the first President Bush? And yes, he did show up in saggin’ pants! Anyway, it’s called conscience rap Sarah, something you obviously don’t possess. I swear just when I think I couldn’t possibly hate her more she opens up her mouth and speaks. She also said the invitation was “lacking in class and decency.” (sighs heavily) Seriously, when does this woman’s 15 minutes end?

But then folks they really crossed the line. They went after my beloved Jill. Yes Jill Scott!! You know Jill who wanted to take a long walk around the block and spark some conversation verbal elation and stimulation… yeah her! The first Lady invited Ms. Scott to attend and read poetry as well. Now she’s being called a racist because of comments she made in an Essence Magazine article in which she expressed the subconscious discomfort she feels when seeing a Black man dating a white woman. Every conservative media outlet in the country immediately accused her of being racist and trotted out the old reliable, “now if a white person had said that”. First of all, who even knew bigots read Essence? Secondly, what they failed to do of course was to quote Ms. Scott fully. She also stated that she has internal conflict with her views on interracial dating as “I was raised to view everyone as equal, despite the color of their skin.” Not a single article I read from any of the right wing outlets included this quote. Racist, I think not. She simply expressed a heartfelt and honest opinion which she herself finds contradictory.

It all comes down to the conservatives attempts to scare White America into thinking that now that we have a Black President he wants to subvert the country and the White House. They would have you believe there’s a Black Panther rally going on in the White House every night along with watermelon, fried chicken and Olde English 800. Seriously, neither of these two invitees would be described as radical by anyone other than a rightwing nut. I don’t recall anybody checking the guest list for any of the Bush Soirees. I mean they certainly wouldn’t invite anyone who wrote fanatical lyrics like "early one mornin' while makin' the rounds, I took a shot of cocaine and I shot my woman down", no sir those lyrics were written by Mr. Johnny Cash…oh wait, wasn’t he personally honored by President George W. Bush at the White House? And didn’t I read somewhere that the Bush’s claim to be big fans of Bob Marley? But I guess that’s ok because even though he shot the sheriff he did not shoot the deputy.

Credit Due

Former President George W. Bush has declined an invitation from President Obama to attend today’s ceremony at the World Trade Center site and according to the New York Daily News he believes it is a publicity stunt and that President Obama is “taking all the credit” for finding and killing Osama Bin Laden. Want to talk publicity stunts Georgie? How about “mission accomplished” and that ridiculous jumpsuit you wore on that aircraft carrier? How about you were too busy for seven years with that made up war in Iraq to even look for Bin Laden? How about you grabbing a bullhorn at the World Trade Center site to say you would avenge the attacks and then a mere six months after, you said that it “wasn’t important” to find him. It just amazes me how when something positive happens for the President, the Republicans want to take credit but never for the negative. You know what you big baby how about you take credit for the recession, the mortgage meltdown and the two trillion dollar wars? Of course it’s for publicity but if the mission had failed it would have all been President Obama’s fault and nobody would be looking for credit.